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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
CanadaCraig Offline
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The Right to Say, 'Good-Bye'! - March 18th 2017, 01:03 PM

Hello!

I hope you're having a good day!

The right to say, 'Good-Bye!'

This message is NOT about killing ourselves. It is about having the RIGHT to get people OUT of our lives that are causing us more harm than good. Far too many times in my life - there have been people that I felt stuck with. So-called 'friends' that did not care about ME at ALL. They cared about whether or not I cared about THEM. But that's not the same thing as THEM caring about ME. When I look back on my life - it almost amuses me how little some so-called 'friends' cared. They didn't even pretend to care. Sometimes I would be a smart-alec and say, "I'm fine thanks! Thanks for asking!", when they - once again - didn't bother to ask ME about ME! But they would never catch on. WHY? Because it wasn't in them to care. The role I played in their lives was to 'be there for them' so THEY could talk ABOUT themselves without looking like they were talking TO themselves. And of course - I took my 'job' seriously because I wanted to be the greatest friend they ever had.

Imagine... Investing all of that time and energy on working on a friendship that didn't even exist. I would say, "How are you doing? and basically just sit back and listen to THEM talk. Sometimes for HOURS. But why didn't I just leave? Why didn't I tell them to, 'get lost'? Because I was never told that I had any right to say 'good-bye'.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want YOU TO KNOW that YOU don't have to have people in your life who do NOT care about YOU. Maya Angelou [A famous poet] once said, "When people show you who they are - believe them the first time." DO NOT WASTE DAYS, MONTHS and YEARS of YOUR LIFE waiting for that uncaring someone to become someone that YOU need them to be. Because it will NEVER HAPPEN. Say 'Good-Bye' and find someone better.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!

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Last edited by CanadaCraig; March 19th 2017 at 12:26 PM.
   
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Lauren02 Offline
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Re: The Right to Say, 'Good-Bye'! - March 18th 2017, 02:30 PM

a lot of the time we dont actually get a proper goodbye do we? i just turned 15 and theres people i played with all the time when we were 5 and i never even noticed things change
   
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Re: The Right to Say, 'Good-Bye'! - March 19th 2017, 10:27 PM

I've certainly had "friends" like this before, glad that I cut them out. I need an equal balance of caring for me and them as well.




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CanadaCraig Offline
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Re: The Right to Say, 'Good-Bye'! - March 20th 2017, 04:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauren02 View Post
a lot of the time we dont actually get a proper goodbye do we? i just turned 15 and theres people i played with all the time when we were 5 and i never even noticed things change
Hi Lauren!

I hope you're OK.

The older we get the more people come and go. I sometimes wonder why a friendship ended. And most often - like you said - without a proper 'good-bye'. Sometimes it's just because one of us moved away and we lost touch. [After promising never to!] I lost my best friend of 12 years because he fell in love and got married. Suddenly there was no room for me in his life. That loss really hurt. But you move on. [Or at least try to]

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Craig!
   
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CanadaCraig Offline
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Re: The Right to Say, 'Good-Bye'! - March 20th 2017, 04:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FallonRose View Post
I've certainly had "friends" like this before, glad that I cut them out. I need an equal balance of caring for me and them as well.
Hi Fallon!

I hope you're OK.

I'm glad to hear that you had enough self-respect to take care of yourself! Too often we allow ourselves to remain in 'unhealthy' friendships/relationships that do a lot of damage to our self esteem. An equal balance of caring - like you said - should always be what we look for in a friendship.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!
   
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Re: The Right to Say, 'Good-Bye'! - March 20th 2017, 05:02 AM

I find this more true of my family unfortunately, and they've either cut themselves out for reasons that had nothing to do with me, or 'demand' that we remain in theirs because we essentially owe it to them. I don't know how to handle the people you actually can't get rid of, but really wish you could.


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CanadaCraig Offline
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Re: The Right to Say, 'Good-Bye'! - March 20th 2017, 11:48 AM

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Originally Posted by Kate* View Post
I find this more true of my family unfortunately, and they've either cut themselves out for reasons that had nothing to do with me, or 'demand' that we remain in theirs because we essentially owe it to them. I don't know how to handle the people you actually can't get rid of, but really wish you could.
Hi Kate!

I hope you're OK.

I think that one of life's biggest problems has to do with how to deal with 'family'. If our family is loving and supportive it can be a wonderful thing. [I know. I've seen it on TV! lol] But if they're NOT so nice - it can be an awful thorn in our side. And one that never really goes away. EVEN IF the source of that thorn dies. [My dad died over 23 years ago and he's still influencing my life in a negative way] The only thing that we CAN do is to make the most of the life that we have that THEY are NOT part of! And to keep that mostly - if not entirely - to ourselves. The negative people in my family always found a way to mock the things in my life that mattered to me. So I just stopped 'letting them in'. It's unfortunate that I've had to do that. But sometimes you just have to do what you have to do!

When dealing with people that you are 'forced to see' - try this. [It's something that I have often done!] When you are with them - pretend that you're a movie director and give each of them a part. "There's Bob!", I'd say in my head. "He would be great for the part of the pigheaded basketball coach! And there's Elsie. She could play the part of the librarian/nymphomaniac!" lol

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!
   
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