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7aerith7 Offline
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Making Cis Straight Guys Leave Me Alone - October 10th 2017, 05:11 AM

I have never been romantically interested in people. I donít care about romance or kissing or marriage or having babies. Since I was a very young child, cisgender straight boys have crushed on me and tried to get into ďrelationshipsĒ with me. Iíve explained countless time to so many annoyingly infatuated guys who come and go that I donít desire romance. But for some reason cis straight guys donít listen to me! They think Iím ďconfusedĒ about my romantic orientation or that they can ďchange my mindĒ. They plead with me, guilt trip me, memorize my schedule and follow me, try to butt themselves into my family membersí lives in order to be ďcloserĒ to me. Well, itís fucking annoying and as i age, it gets scarier.
There have been many a time in my life where Iíve had to block guys and run in the other direction when I see him, and on one occasion, I moved to another town.
What the hell should I do to get cis straight guys to quit romantically targeting me?????
The one Iím dealing with currently met me only about a month ago and heís memorized my schedule, and has already gotten to the point where he thinks whenever Iím not at class or work I should be spending time with him. Like heís just decided on his own without communicating to me about it that he should always take up my free time. Doesnít sound like a friend to me.
Why canít I encounter a straight cisgender guy who just wants to be my friend?? I feel like to straight cis guys, Iím either girlfriend/sex object or worthless and nothing.
   
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Re: Making Cis Straight Guys Leave Me Alone - October 10th 2017, 05:45 AM

First thing, I think you should carry a knife or pepper spray or learn self defense. These guys do not sound safe around you and even though it absolutely shouldn't be on you to feel safe, unfortunately that's something one has to do with these ugly cishet males.
Telling them off might not work because cishet males are so full of themselves that they think they're entitled to your every being, but you can continue to do so. It might not make them go away, and it might put you in more danger, but it's something you can keep trying.
Maybe just keeping yourself safe and avoiding the cishet males is the best thing you can do because honestly, shit's fucked.


THE POINT OF SINGULARITY IS NOTHING AS NOTHING BEGAN EVERYTHING
PULSING IN THE EXPAND CONSUME WITHOUT BARRIER OR BORDER
IT IS DARK BECAUSE IT IS THE DARKNESS IT IS OVER BECAUSE IT IS THE END
THERE IS NO SENTRY BECAUSE NONE DARE APPROACH
IT HAS NEVER BEEN AND IT IS ALL THAT EVER WAS
AT THE CENTER YOU DO NOT FIND THE ANSWER
YOU DO NOT FIND YOURSELF THERE IS NO CENTER AND THERE IS NO YOU THERE IS ONLY MADNESS
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7aerith7 Offline
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Re: Making Cis Straight Guys Leave Me Alone - October 10th 2017, 02:23 PM

I seriously donít know what I can do without offending guys or making them more aggressive. Do I really have to put up with this drama romance crap all my life 😣
   
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Re: Making Cis Straight Guys Leave Me Alone - October 10th 2017, 03:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 7aerith7 View Post
I seriously don’t know what I can do without offending guys or making them more aggressive. Do I really have to put up with this drama romance crap all my life ��

It's nothing to do with the fact they're straight 'cisgender' males; it's more to do with the fact they're probably assholes who aren't used to girls saying "no" in your area.

and when they do, they see it more of a "game" than a "rejection."

Ya, some people handle rejection in that way. - Disbelief & persevering under the false pretense of it being a "game"

Easiest solution? Don't look, talk or acknowledge anyone who is this way; anyone who is this way you need to make the clearest possible acknowledgement that you're not interested. -Immediately, no beating around the bush. - Even if it means being Aggressive on your own end, get the point across if it bothers you so much; No guy I know will persevere a "relationship" if a girl has displayed incredible levels of frustration toward them, also, try ignoring them. Alot of guys can take silence as a big hit too.

You've got alot of options, moving away from them shouldn't be one of them, some things shouldn't be avoided.

*edit you shouldn't let these people get close to you in any way either, that'll help stop "guilt tripping" to any meaningful degree aswell.
You can display any LGBT symbol in a bracelet or other area, though, I don't think that works but i've seen people try it to give people the hint to "f*** off" especially when coming to males.
   
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Re: Making Cis Straight Guys Leave Me Alone - October 10th 2017, 03:28 PM

Being aggressive back? Iíve never done that before. Iíve been taught not to offend anyone, to preserve othersí feelings. Of course there have been times when Iíve wanted to raise my voice and just swat at them, but Iíve always reigned myself in. I guess I need to stop being scared of them and of being labeled as a ďbitch.Ē Iíve been conditioned to be people-pleasing and passive about my own frustrations I suppose. But with some of the guys from my past, I know that yelling at them to stop harassing me would have just made the situation escalate. Returning aggression wonít work all the time. And they canít always be avoided. There are situations when their completely unavoidable. But I guess Iíve made it this far without exploding right?
   
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Re: Making Cis Straight Guys Leave Me Alone - October 10th 2017, 03:31 PM

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Originally Posted by 7aerith7 View Post
Being aggressive back? I’ve never done that before. I’ve been taught not to offend anyone, to preserve others’ feelings. Of course there have been times when I’ve wanted to raise my voice and just swat at them, but I’ve always reigned myself in. I guess I need to stop being scared of them and of being labeled as a “bitch.” I’ve been conditioned to be people-pleasing and passive about my own frustrations I suppose. But with some of the guys from my past, I know that yelling at them to stop harassing me would have just made the situation escalate. Returning aggression won’t work all the time. And they can’t always be avoided. There are situations when their completely unavoidable. But I guess I’ve made it this far without exploding right?


Saying words firmly to uphold your own wishes and belief - that's justifiable if your own feelings are being stepped on, as you claim they are.

Aggression doesn't have to be loud, being firm and holding your ground can be just as quiet as saying Hello politely. - It's all in your control, you have cards to play in this game, play them right & good luck.
   
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Re: Making Cis Straight Guys Leave Me Alone - October 11th 2017, 03:41 PM

So, I want to say that, I do not think this has much to do with them being 'cis-het males' and has everything to do with these people being jerks who aren't used to respecting people's boundaries. I have dealt with boundary violations from all types of people and they were not all 'cishet males'. For a very long time, I did have a belief that it was only 'cishet males' who were this way. The fact is, that there are some great cishet males out there who want to respect people's boundaries. The people that you have come into contact with are very likely not respectful people and don't understand or care about boundaries.

As for carrying a knife and pepper spray, look into your state/countries laws about that because I know that different states and different countries have different rules. Also, if you have never used a knife before, you probably do not want to carry that as a defense weapon because you would be likely to do more damage to yourself than to anyone who might threaten you. As for pepper spray, a few years ago, my friends and I were involved in an incident and cops got called, long story short the cop that we were talking to told us that pepper spray isn't the best thing to use either. He said that with pepper spray, a lot of people, end up getting it on themselves in a struggle and it can lead to aiding the person who is trying to harm them. If you want to learn to defend yourself, I would suggest that you look into taking self defense classes. I have a friend that has done this and it has actually led them to feeling safer when going out to public places.

Now, I can relate to some of the things you have said, I don't think you should be aggressive because that could make things worse but I do think that you should be assertive. If these people make you uncomfortable be firm and let them know that you aren't interested. If they persist, then you might want to notify people at the establishments you are at. For example, the guy that has memorized your schedule, you should let him know that he needs to stop following you. If he doesn't listen then you can go to campus security or someone else at the school and let them know. Hopefully they will take action because, in all honesty, him memorizing your schedule is a bit...strange?

Being assertive can be helpful because, in all honesty, a lot of these types are uncomfortable with assertive people. I know, I am not super assertive, however, when I encounter people that cross boundaries I have the ability to assert myself and in most instances the people who are invading my boundaries lose interest.

I hope that this helped and if you need to talk please feel free to message me.


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