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Question I don't know what to do?! - June 5th 2019, 08:00 PM

I need some advice. I don't know what to do. There's this girl that I met a while back but we quickly became very close. Then, I started falling for her... like big time! I haven't felt this strongly about someone in a long while. I just don't know how and when I should approach this, and that is what I need advice on. I never thought I had too hard of a time with girls but with her I'm just stuck. Some of the problems that are holding me up are this: She lives about 3 hours away, so I don't get to see her in person very often but we talk literally every single day since we met even pulling all-nighters together to talk. I should also mention that sometimes the way she talks to me or about me I can't tell if she might be flirting a little or if that's just what my mind wants me to think because I like her. For example, she'll call me teddy bear sometimes and she always wants to talk, but sometimes her responses get shorter, like K or yup or okay or yeah or just short sentences and from previous experiences that seems to me like she's losing interest in the conversation or maybe she just needs a break. I have heard that if a girl starts the conversation it might mean she likes you and wants to keep talking but there's no real start or stop in the conversation except when we go to sleep, but other than that it kinda just always keeps going. I've told her before that if she needs a break from talking or if I'm talking too much then to let me know and she said no I like talking to you. She said it's fun. I feel the same way and I'm glad she does but at the same time when she leaves her replies short I don't always know how to continue the conversation based off of what she said. We've also talked so much that often times now we're asking each other what we should talk about now cause it feels like we've talked about everything and that's usually when the conversation gets a little light and I'm always worried that if I don't think of something to talk about soon the conversation will stop completely. She's also said she likes me when I'm relaxed because then I say funny and interesting stuff. Another big concern for me is that she's starting college soon (I am not) her college will be a little closer to home but that doesn't mean we will always see each other still. as we all know you tend to meet people at college and sometimes make life long friends, boyfriends, or girlfriends. Of course that's okay but I'm worried if I don't make a move soon she might meet someone else there and it'll be too late. Which has happened to me before and it sucks! Basically to sum it up, I'm crushing on her and I don't know where to start with it and if I should even make a move or not so I could use some advice. Sorry if this is all over the place but hopefully you can understand where I'm coming from and help would be appreciated.

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Re: I don't know what to do?! - June 12th 2019, 06:06 PM

Hey there,

Sounds like you both get along really well, and despite the distance, you really enjoy talking to each other a lot! As for the quite moments in the conversation, try not to worry. Sometimes when we spend all of our time talking to someone, we may run out of things to talk about. There may be natural lulls in the conversation and there's nothing wrong with that. In a way, sometimes it can be good to have small breaks in an ongoing conversation so that you can spend your time doing other things and then when you re-connect, you'll have more to talk about.

It's also understandable that you would worry about knowing how to make a move on someone when you don't get to see them in person that often. Before you do anything, how would you feel about a long distance relationship? It can be done successfully but it can also be difficult. You also want to think about how it will affect your friendship if the girl is aware of your feelings but see's you as a friend- would you be able to accept that? Or would it change your friendship? And if you don't make a move, how would you feel about that?

Sometimes guys may ask if a girl is interested in anyone, romantically, to signal their own interest. This doesn't always work out but it's worth a try to just test the waters and see whether the girl has you or anyone else on her radar at the moment. The other option is just being honest about how you feel. There isn't really a specific way of doing that and you'll have to keep in mind that it can backfire if turns out she isn't interested in you that way. But if she is, then you'll both have to discuss how you would go about maintaining a long distance relationship.

If you feel you have nothing to lose by opening up about your feelings, then it's always worth a shot!


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