TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TH Anonymous Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
TH Anonymous's Avatar
 

Posts: 245
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Dating app photos and self-harm scars (TW) - October 7th 2020, 09:45 PM

[SIZE="a"]Although dating have pretty much died down die to COVID, I still am interested in forming relationships of a romantic nature. For years, I have mostly met potential partners using dating apps/sites. Obviously on these sites one posts photos of themselves in their profile, and I am no exception. However, I've encountered a problem: I now have self-harm scars on my face that are quite obvious. These happened several months ago and they are fading a little, but they're still rather prominent.

I am not sure, now, what to do about pictures on my profiles. On the one hand, I don't want to post photos of my face and turn people off before they get to know me. On the other hand, I don't want people to feel I deceived them. I told one person after we'd been talking a while and showed them a picture and they said it wasn't terrible, so maybe that's the best way to go about it? I am not sure. I am just convinced everyone is going to think I am ugly now, between being overweight and having a scarred face. I am afraid I will never find love again.

Any suggestions as to what to do?[/size]
   
Reply With Quote
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Rivière Offline
Par la rivière

I can't get enough
*********
 
Rivière's Avatar
 
Name: Sarah
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Wales, UK.

Posts: 2,875
Join Date: June 7th 2013

Re: Dating app photos and self-harm scars (TW) - October 9th 2020, 11:36 AM

Personally I think a person can only hide themselves for only so long. Even if you hide your scars, say a person wants to meet you, they'll see them eventually unless you continue to try and hide them. Ultimately it depends on the type of person you're looking for, and remembering that your time is valuable.

We all have different tastes in what we're attracted to. Some people may like your scars, especially if they too have been through a lot of personal things. Self-harm scars are just part of you.

If you're willing to put your picture up, don't be afraid to show who you really are. Not everybody cares about the way someone is going to look. Many people value personality over looks.


Life is for living, not for losing.
   
Reply With Quote
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Mallika Offline
HelpLINK Mentor

Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Mallika's Avatar
 
Name: Mallika
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: Singapore

Posts: 300
Join Date: January 6th 2020

Re: Dating app photos and self-harm scars (TW) - October 9th 2020, 02:53 PM

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out! I think Rivière has given a great answer and I second it.

It is better to open about it from the beginning - not only for another potential partner to see - but even to yourself. Our scars are a part of us; concealing it on a dating site might be a reflection of our own insecurity about them. It starts with embracing yourself for who you are, first and foremost.

Media and popular culture condition us to think of a perfect girl or a boy... though that couldn't be further from the truth about what humanity really is. Nobody is perfect - we ALL have our stories, our scars, our deepest secrets. The joy is in finding someone who will be embracing of these things. If someone judges you for having "imperfections", ditch them right away

Along those lines, the person who is truly the one for you will see the person you are behind those scars and take genuine interest in you. So don't shy away from your own scars; they are a sign of your strength and fight against your inner demons. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for

Take care and DM me if you'd like to chat about anything!!
   
Reply With Quote
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Unregistered
Guest
 
Unregistered's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a

Re: Dating app photos and self-harm scars (TW) - December 26th 2020, 06:33 PM

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Just post the pictures of yourself. This sounds really lame but it's true. If you don't post the pictures and you meet someone you like, they'll find out eventually anyway, won't they? If they know about it from the off, then you won't have to worry about what they will do when they find out because they already know! Whoever you meet will like you for who you are, not who they think you are. If people don't want to go out with you because of photos, then it's their loss. I hope this helps [/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]
   
Reply With Quote
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Librarian
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
DeletedAccount53's Avatar
 
Name: Wendi
Gender: Female
Location: Monaco

Posts: 542
Join Date: December 1st 2020

Re: Dating app photos and self-harm scars (TW) - December 28th 2020, 02:47 PM

No pretense; be as you are. Post your picture up in this dating site and if anyone doesn't like it, then they are not for you and it's their stupid loss.
   
Reply With Quote
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
kitty man =^.^= Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
kitty man =^.^='s Avatar
 
Name: michael
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Location: Anywhere USA

Posts: 21
Join Date: October 4th 2010

Re: Dating app photos and self-harm scars (TW) - January 22nd 2021, 10:43 AM

As someone with a similar issue with self harm scars, (although some aren't as noticeable now) I concur with Rivière. My personal view on the subject is if someone learns to care about you, they will be able to look past the physical, and know the scars are just part of who you are. It has taken years, however I've learned to embrace the scars as part of who I am, and answer the questions potential partners have had.

I assure you, you will find love again, and it will be well worth the wait to get there. best of luck to you, and you can pm me about anything if you need to.


I was lost, but now I've found myself, and I've experienced a lot. Maybe my experiences can help you!


cut free since April, 2015
   
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
app, dating, photos, scars, selfharm

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2021, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.