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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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ComteD'Artois Offline
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Insecure guy in love with girl of a higher status?? - August 18th 2009, 11:40 PM

I am a particularly young man, seemingly in love with one of my peers. I am 99% sure she is in love with me...though I am terrified of asking her out, due to what the consequences may be. This is because I believe her to be rather insecure. I also believe her to have a higher social status than I in our school. Therefore, if I ask her out, and the news becomes public, then am I to hang out with her friends? Will she feel strange acting intimately with I, I who am not very social (with the exception of this girl and a couple of others). Just what do I do? What if she keeps the relationship private? That would certainly be the oddest thing! But I am highly afraid of the consequences...last year I told her I had a crush on her, through the internet but she said she used to have one on me, of which the basic meaning, many reliable people have told me, was that she still had a crush on me. Recently she said we should meet up, and we never have outside of school. I've known her for two years. She hugs me in school, in front of her friends, and they don't seem to mind..

Sorry for making this so long, but it is quite complicated as one can see. Will there be rumors and scandal forever if we go into a relationship, or will it pass? If people were to ask me why we became a couple, what would I say? Should I say, 'because I love her'?...

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Re: Insecure guy in love with girl of a higher status?? - August 19th 2009, 12:28 AM

Well... Social status really means little in some situations.

Just ask her out. You are already her friend? She can hug you in public, doesn't seem like she would have a problem admitting how she feels about you.

Why would people ask why you are in a relationship? If they do just tell the truth "I care about her, she cares about me."


Also, a lot of the time people don't know their social status in school. I certainly didn't think I was popular because I didn't hang out with the cool kids. But I could talk to anyone in the school and was prom king. So honestly, maybe you think that you are less socially accepted than you really are.

She won't care about all that if she cares about you.

Just build up some courage and ask. Good luck!
   
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Re: Insecure guy in love with girl of a higher status?? - August 19th 2009, 02:24 AM

Thank you.

It's just because in the past, I became a couple with this girl in school but we ended up communicating only on the internet :/ at school she kind of ignored me...she was REALLY really shy around me and barely spoke to me. Well, she was a year younger than me...and she does seem more immature than the girl I have an immense fancy for now...though I'm not sure..

As, last year, when I told her (current girl) that I had a crush on her (bad move) she said that she never thought of it that way, because she always thought of herself as funny and childish around me and not in any other sort of way (there's no telling whether this is true, however!).

Must I befriend her friends if I go into a relationship with her..?
   
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Re: Insecure guy in love with girl of a higher status?? - August 19th 2009, 02:41 AM

You don't have to be her friends friends, however you should be friendly towards them.

She will probably introduce you to all her friends, maybe. Then they might want to be best buddies and pal around.

I have heard it makes it easier to be good friends with their friends. But I was good friends with all the friends of the girl I loved. They just adored me, and it didn't help me with her at all. Which leads me to believe that being friends with a girl's friends really doesn't matter, you just need to be nice to them to some extent.
   
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Re: Insecure guy in love with girl of a higher status?? - August 19th 2009, 06:11 PM

[quote=White Rose Petals;215615]
I have heard it makes it easier to be good friends with their friends.quote]

you dont nessisarily have to befriend her friends, but her best friend... you really need to get on the good side of the best friend, it makes things alot easier... just from a girls point of view, if the boyfriend and the best friend clash the relationships involved can get unbareable, and boys come and go, friends are for ever


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