Questions for the opposite sex

[shanadian]

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear

Okay, here's another question. What are all the reasons for girls to have such low self-confidence to the point that she'll do absolutely anything (or anyone) to make her feel good even though there's nothing to feel bad about?

Teasing and abuse of any kind leads people to think they aren't valuable enough to be treated well, so they have low self-confidence and search for a way to feel better. Teasing can just be being called out on being different, or it can be worse. Little (or big) things grate on you until you feel worthless and you're positive that you'll never amount to anything. If you'll never amount to anything, then it doesn't matter what you do. So you'll do anything.

[Teddy Bear]

It's everywhere. Low self-confidence leading to poor choices in life. I wish there was something I could do. I talk to my friends all the time about these things, but they still do these things. What do I gotta do to improve their self-esteem?

[MusicFreakCaroline]

Originally Posted by Forgotten

Girls: Why do you date assholes, just because they're hot?

Or is that only 14 year old girls?

I dont think that all girls do... At least I haven't, but then again I have only dated 3 guys (and I dont just date guys)

[shanadian]

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear

It's everywhere. Low self-confidence leading to poor choices in life. I wish there was something I could do. I talk to my friends all the time about these things, but they still do these things. What do I gotta do to improve their self-esteem?

If they say they're ugly, tell them that they're beautiful the way they are. If they just finished a job, tell them "Good job." If they drew a picture or wrote something, tell them it's great. Smile at them. Give them a hug when they look like they need one. Make it clear that you are their friend and will not leave them. Go out and do fun stuff with them. That's all you can do, I think.

[Duty]

"Game" is for quick results only. Quantity over quality.

True or false?

(Dave, this is aimed at you.)

[iDONTNO]

Is there ever a time when a man can never say the right thing to a woman's problem?


Although I'm not a guy i know that the question
Do these jeans make me look ______?
Is a death sentence.
And when a girl is on her period.
Lol

[PSY]

Originally Posted by iDONTNO

Is there ever a time when a man can never say the right thing to a woman's problem?


Although I'm not a guy i know that the question
Do these jeans make me look ______?
Is a death sentence.
And when a girl is on her period.
Lol

Of course!

1. Oftentimes, when women start talking about their problems, they don't REALLY want their boyfriends/husbands to fix the problems... they just want someone who will listen and comfort them. So believing that you have to be the "knight in shining armor", always saving your girlfriend/wife aka the "damsel in distress", isn't necessarily the best/right approach.

2. Some problems can't be fixed, or don't have adequate/quick solutions. If you look fat in a pair of jeans... then you either need to buy a new pair of jeans, or lose weight. Of course, that's not an answer anyone wants to give their significant other, because 1) the truth hurts, and 2) the problem takes time to solve (ex. finding a new pair of jeans or working out/dieting to lose the weight).

3. Women can be terribly manipulative at times. They practically set their boyfriends/husbands up for failure by asking questions that they KNOW are impossible to answer "correctly"! So my advice to men: if you notice your girlfriend/wife is in a crabby mood, and is asking these sorts of questions, humor her and weather the storm until she's in a better mood. =P Or, if she's always asking these sorts of questions... maybe you need to find a nicer girlfriend/wife.

[katie4evrr1]

this question is for guys........
I go roller skatin alot but when i see a cute i guy i never know what to do to get noticed, any advice?

[Double X]

Originally Posted by SaVeMeFrOmMySeLf96

this question is for guys........
I go roller skatin alot but when i see a cute i guy i never know what to do to get noticed, any advice?

Guys are supposed to make the first move. If you see a cute guy while you are roller skating, I guess you could do this:

1. Find cute guy
2. Go up to him, say hi and introduce yourself
3. Say it's your first time here and you have trouble skating

If he's interested and not a pussy, he will flirt with you. When a girl makes that initial contact, guys are quick to respond.

[Katley]

Originally Posted by drowningangel

Yay. We do have this back. How nice. Although we had PAGES before all this happened.

I have a question for the guys and girls out there:

How important is sex in a relationship to you? If the sex isn't good, would you still stay with that person?

IMMA VIRGIN! and so is my boyfriend and we r completely in love. Honestly I will not have sex till I'm married and I'm proud of that fact.

[Strawberrymuffin]

If sex was terrible and I really loved him, we would work on making it better. Otherwise good to normal works.

Question for guys:
My best guy friend told me he likes someone, initially i thought it was me because of a misunderstanding because of a few things he did/said. Do best friends of opposite sex fall in this category or he likes me without knowing or something? we talked late night and he asked if i had my hair open, if it has grown, told me to get his fav haircut again, sometimes accidently said my name in a sexual way and then became cautious. He joked about us being adorable, told me hes looking at my picture, joked abt telling a guy he knew who liked me that wer gona get married. Asked me if iv worn red, sang to me seriously and wanted me to (enjoyed my voice), joked about playing with my hair and smelling it while i smell him. Told me when hes shirtless and when i described my father, said hes like him and wanted to meet him. Showed genuine concern for me. He asked me about three times about my guy friend who complimented me, 'does he like you? are you good friends?' Most importantly when i misunderstood its me he likes, he went along with it for some time and mentioned a time i made his hair funny. Later ofcourse he corrected me. Also when he was correcting me he said we couldv had something (there was a time i told him we should be careful with some things), however that was long ago and a lot of the above mentioned is recent and happened after that time. This is long, I'd really appreciate some feedback from guys.

[firecracker]

Originally Posted by Forgotten

Girls: Why do you date assholes, just because they're hot?

Or is that only 14 year old girls?

I don't this applies to all girls, because I would never date an asshole, no matter how attractive they are.

There are a lot of girls out there who are looking for genuinely sweet guys.

[Choose]

have not read through the thread, but I have a question for teh ladies:

Why is it that you don't just tell me you're straight up not interested vs. giving me your number, agreeing to a date and then flaking?

/frustration

[katie4evrr1]

Originally Posted by Bearded Lifter

have not read through the thread, but I have a question for teh ladies:

Why is it that you don't just tell me you're straight up not interested vs. giving me your number, agreeing to a date and then flaking?

/frustration

ok... well i have NEVER done this but i know some bitches at my school who might do this. Howevr, she might not be flaking she might have had something important come up. and a reason girls don't tell a guy we rnt interested is because we are usually nice and dont want to hurt feelings. Don't worry not ALL girls do that

[Choose]

Originally Posted by SaVeMeFrOmMySeLf96

ok... well i have NEVER done this but i know some bitches at my school who might do this. Howevr, she might not be flaking she might have had something important come up. and a reason girls don't tell a guy we rnt interested is because we are usually nice and dont want to hurt feelings. Don't worry not ALL girls do that

I get no notice, nothing. They have literally initiated 0 contact with me to let me know. 5 girls have done this to me in the past 3 weeks.

I'm trying not to be butthurt but it's annoying showing up to a place that we previously agreed on and her not showing up.

[PSY]

Originally Posted by Bearded Lifter

have not read through the thread, but I have a question for teh ladies:

Why is it that you don't just tell me you're straight up not interested vs. giving me your number, agreeing to a date and then flaking?

/frustration

Because many girls have this strange idea that guys are going to FALL APART if we flat-out reject them. So they try to let them down gently... which just means they give the guy false hope and/or lead him on. Some girls are just plain malicious and enjoy bragging to their friends about how many guys they can get, without actually committing. Other girls don't mean to be malicious - they just suck at being straight-forward. They prefer the implied rejection, which is demonstrated by not showing up for a date. They let YOU do the dirty work and figure out that she's not interested, because they don't want to be the bearers of bad news. I doubt they realize that what they're doing, which is intended to make the rejection LESS painful, is actually MORE painful.

[Choose]

Originally Posted by PSY

Because many girls have this strange idea that guys are going to FALL APART if we flat-out reject them. So they try to let them down gently... which just means they give the guy false hope and/or lead him on. Some girls are just plain malicious and enjoy bragging to their friends about how many guys they can get, without actually committing. Other girls don't mean to be malicious - they just suck at being straight-forward. They prefer the implied rejection, which is demonstrated by not showing up for a date. They let YOU do the dirty work and figure out that she's not interested, because they don't want to be the bearers of bad news. I doubt they realize that what they're doing, which is intended to make the rejection LESS painful, is actually MORE painful.

Thanks for the response. If a girl flakes on me, I make it a point not to contact her. No questions. If she wants to see me, she can give a legitimate excuse and re-schedule. I value my time more than to wonder wtf she was doing.

Also, what is a good rule of thumb for dating ages (ie the age gap)? The rule I use is 1/2 your age + 7 but that would change over time I think.

[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by Bearded Lifter

Thanks for the response. If a girl flakes on me, I make it a point not to contact her. No questions. If she wants to see me, she can give a legitimate excuse and re-schedule. I value my time more than to wonder wtf she was doing.

Also, what is a good rule of thumb for dating ages (ie the age gap)? The rule I use is 1/2 your age + 7 but that would change over time I think.

I don't feel there is any good "rule of thumb," really. Everyone feels differently about age gaps. Personally, it'd take an exception for me to date younger, and I wouldn't date more than three years older.

EDIT: The only "rule of thumb" I can think of is make sure everything is legal.

[TigerTank77]

Girls. Would you ever go hang out with a guy 1on1 at his house at night if you weren't interested in him?

And if you were, what would you wear?

[PSY]

Originally Posted by TigerTank77

Girls. Would you ever go hang out with a guy 1on1 at his house at night if you weren't interested in him?

And if you were, what would you wear?

Only if we were really good friends. I can think of one male friend, MAYBE two, off the top of my head. Then again, I prefer to hang out with small groups of people vs. one-on-one. AND I haven't been single for several years, so I may not be the best person for answering this question. =P

[dancinfool]

Girls. Would you ever go hang out with a guy 1on1 at his house at night if you weren't interested in him?

And if you were, what would you wear?

If we were very good friends, similar to the above I think I have only one or two friends with whom this wouldn't be weird, but then we both know neither party is remotely interested in being more than friends.
What would I wear?? haha erm clothes?? the only time I would think about what I was wearing is if I liked the guy, but that probably wouldn't change much anyway.

[Noah Zomby]

Originally Posted by tk338

Ive given up on relationships for now because there are no girls here who really even like me (my exs' wonderful backstabbing work)... How did you meet your partner, if you have one?

Well before me and my current girlfriend got together, we were pretty much the best of friends. We laugh at a lot of the same things, including each other. When my first girlfriend broke my fucking heart into millions of pieces (sorry for the language if it bothers, it still brings up bad memories), she was the first to call me on my phone and talk to me and help me feel better. I've also been there for her when she feels bad by mostly making her laugh and my awesome hippie hugs. Sorry... I'm rambling. Anyways, before we got together, we were best friends and a few days ago we had our 7 month anniversary.

[Kitty.]

Originally Posted by TigerTank77

Girls. Would you ever go hang out with a guy 1on1 at his house at night if you weren't interested in him?

And if you were, what would you wear?

I can think of like one guy and he's gay so there would be nothing to worry about.

If I went, I would wear regular clothes.

[faithhope]

Guys: Why do you guys ignore your ex gfs when youre dating someone new? If you dont like your ex anymore why would you try to get her jealous?

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by faithhope

Guys: Why do you guys ignore your ex gfs when youre dating someone new? If you dont like your ex anymore why would you try to get her jealous?

It's difficult and often pointless to try to be friends with someone after a breakup. It's most likely just a sign that he's moved on entirely and feels no need to talk to her.

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by faithhope

Guys: Why do you guys ignore your ex gfs when youre dating someone new? If you dont like your ex anymore why would you try to get her jealous?

...are you saying that guys date new people for the sole purpose of making their ex-girlfriends jealous? Please. We date new people for the purpose of..well, dating new people -- just like everyone else. Nothing more to it. If we're no longer interested in our ex-girlfriends, then it's not a matter of jealousy.

Some of us ignore our ex-gf's simply because it might still bring some negative and hurtful feelings to contact them. Anger, guilt, etc...anything along those lines could make a man (or a woman) want to ignore his/her exes.

Question for everyone: How do you deal with low self-esteem after a break-up?

Question for the girls: Do you usually find independent, reserved, yet confident and knowledgeable men more attractive than boisterous and gregarious men with more active social tendencies?

[faithhope]

Guys: why do guys want their ex gf back even when theyre talking to other girls

[PSY]

Originally Posted by QuantumModulus

Question for everyone: How do you deal with low self-esteem after a break-up?

I keep myself busy. Busy, busy, busy! If I have a bunch of commitments to fulfill, both for myself and for my friends, then I begin to feel important and needed. That is generally when my low self-esteem takes a turn for the better. =) After a few weeks, things stabilize, and I don't feel like I have to use up every second of free time. I can relax again and wait for someone new to come along when the time is right.

Originally Posted by QuantumModulus

Question for the girls: Do you usually find independent, reserved, yet confident and knowledgeable men more attractive than boisterous and gregarious men with more active social tendencies?

There is no magical combination of personality traits you could give me where I would say, "This is exactly what I want in a man!" I would have to look at the entire package before I could make a decision like that.

[Ashes2493]

Originally Posted by QuantumModulus

Question for the girls: Do you usually find independent, reserved, yet confident and knowledgeable men more attractive than boisterous and gregarious men with more active social tendencies?

I prefer a guy who is independent, reserved, confident, and knowledgeable more attractive.

Question for guys: Do you find a girl who has chosen to save sex for marriage more attractive than a girl who hasn't?

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by Ashes2493

Question for guys: Do you find a girl who has chosen to save sex for marriage more attractive than a girl who hasn't?

Much less attractive. Partly because it means I'm not getting laid, which is part of the fun of having a girlfriend. Partly because it means she's almost certainly one of those extremely religious girls who believe that all forms of fun are sinful, so there's no way we'd be compatible.

There will be guys who disagree, though.

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by Ashes2493

I prefer a guy who is independent, reserved, confident, and knowledgeable more attractive.

Question for guys: Do you find a girl who has chosen to save sex for marriage more attractive than a girl who hasn't?

I'd be a bit disappointed to be honest; like Acheron said: part of the fun of being in an intimate relationship is, well...being intimate. (For a lot of guys, that is.) If I was really, genuinely attracted to her to a very high degree, then I wouldn't be as bothered, but most of the time I'd at least expect it to happen during the relationship, sometime before marriage. I think it's important to find out if two people are sexually compatible before making such a big commitment; having sexual as well as emotional chemistry is important for a lot of people (including myself).

[TigerTank77]

Originally Posted by Ashes2493

Question for guys: Do you find a girl who has chosen to save sex for marriage more attractive than a girl who hasn't?

I find it as a girl not being comfortable with herself or mature enough to be in a relationship.

But thats just me.

[CvcSly3]

I've always wondered why one of my best female friends told me that I am very good looking and that how kind, sweet and understanding I am she even feels my frustration on how that seems to not be attractive to none if any females in my school. I have friends who are like me, but it might be because the casual/nerdy image I have and my friends have might be a dislike. As always though I find someone I like who might like me for me, but my nervousness gets to me everytime when I try to approach them, I get misunderstood and have too many times.

[piano]

If the girl you are with is a virgin, would you respect her and be closer to her more than one that is not?

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by piano

If the girl you are with is a virgin, would you respect her and be closer to her more than one that is not?

I might feel marginally closer to her if I was a virgin entering the relationship as well, but in a grander sense, no. What she's done in her past shouldn't affect how close she and I are able to become. And as long as she wasn't overly promiscuous and in relationships purely for sex in the past, my respect for her wouldn't be lowered if she wasn't a virgin.

[katie4evrr1]

Originally Posted by QuantumModulus

Question for the girls: Do you usually find independent, reserved, yet confident and knowledgeable men more attractive than boisterous and gregarious men with more active social tendencies?

...hmmm... Im gonna put it out there I am 14 so i am usually only around 14-15 year old guys and that isn't exactly reserved However, for me I do luv guys that are independent and confident. Reserved isn't really for me.. I like a guy that is louder and likes to joke around... but not always that either. I think id want someone in the middle.
However, guys that boast alot only piss me me off and cause me to label them as a jerk. But i will say that is only ME, all girls are different and are looking for different things in a guy.

[katie4evrr1]

question for the guys...
why is it that even if you have a girlfriend and say you love her, you still go around and flirt with other girls?? (not labeling all guys)
Also.. Do I have to hit you guys over the head or something because it seems no matter what hints I give the guys I like never really get the message that I'm in to them.. is it me?

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by SaVeMeFrOmMySeLf96

question for the guys...
why is it that even if you have a girlfriend and say you love her, you still go around and flirt with other girls?? (not labeling all guys)

Because other girls are cute, and flirting is fun. Or it could be a devious plan to keep you jealous and on your toes.

Also.. Do I have to hit you guys over the head or something because it seems no matter what hints I give the guys I like never really get the message that I'm in to them.. is it me?

Yes. First, girl's hints are always far more subtle than you think they are. Second, a hell of a lot of guys are terrified to make a first move unless they're absolutely certain that you like them. Hinting might make him suspect, but he'll second-guess himself and worry that if he's wrong and makes a move, you'll freak out. Either hit him over the head or make the first move yourself.

[Choose]

Originally Posted by Acheron

Yes. First, girl's hints are always far more subtle than you think they are. Second, a hell of a lot of guys are terrified to make a first move unless they're absolutely certain that you like them. Hinting might make him suspect, but he'll second-guess himself and worry that if he's wrong and makes a move, you'll freak out. Either hit him over the head or make the first move yourself.

... and even then he still might not get it LOL.


Ok question for anyone with an answer:

Are first impressions really everything? If girl is not interested, later on down the road she can be right? Or no? I am assuming yes, just want to ask.

[angel18]

I feel more women are hurt by men, many men turn away after what felt They Want has been achieved, really like it ....?
but the reality That Is That We Often find.