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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Rosein Offline
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Question I need a bit of advice... - January 27th 2009, 04:29 PM

Okay...I've been with my boyfriend now for 10 months..very happy and everything..
However, after about 6 months..he started being less affectionate. More focused on gaming and stuff like that. We both still love each other...but I'm feeling a tad unloved..

So making this as short as possible..
how can I hint to him that he needs to be more affectionate?
   
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Re: I need a bit of advice... - January 27th 2009, 05:17 PM

Why not straight out tell him? You should be able to discuss with your boyfriend what you need from him in a relationship. Yea, it might look a little vulnerable, but you need vulnerability for a relationship to work. Just straight out tell him that you need more affection and/or ask him why he's been less affectionate.

Of course he still loves you! That's why you need to talk about it!


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Re: I need a bit of advice... - January 27th 2009, 05:33 PM

I agree with justinee just be stright out with him, believe me, my boyfriend was the same way, at first nothing but affection then me feeling a tad bit unloved, but as time went by(its been three years for us) I've learned that after awhile you get use to each other, and not saying he doesn't like you like he did the first time, he still does, its just now hes settled in and becomeing himself. and don't be afraid to join in his video games, take the control out of his hand and play. you'll probably get major cool points if you play the games he does
   
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Re: I need a bit of advice... - January 28th 2009, 07:20 AM

I have to say that you do just need to sit him down and talk to him about how you feel.
Don't skirt around the subject, and make sure he's paying attention.
He'll probably realise what he's been doing and change his ways, but if he doesn't keep talking to him about it. Perhaps he's gotten settled and forgotten that girls need affection.
Lou.


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Re: I need a bit of advice... - January 28th 2009, 04:21 PM

thanks guys. ^^
it'll be a task and a half...seeing as he loves his games too much for a normal human being. but i'll do my best. =P
   
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Re: I need a bit of advice... - January 28th 2009, 04:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosein View Post
thanks guys. ^^
it'll be a task and a half...seeing as he loves his games too much for a normal human being. but i'll do my best. =P
Hey there. I just wanted to let you know that I have a similar situation as you do; my boyfriend is very into playing Magic and things like that. In addition to your talk with him about affection, if it bugs you to be around him when he's actually gaming, perhaps try and going to do something else, or having something else with you there, when he is. Just sitting there while he and his friends are playing can definitely make things seem lonelier. So maybe you could try going out with friends instead, or bringing a good book to read that would fit well with the background noise of machine guns and yelling. =]


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Re: I need a bit of advice... - January 28th 2009, 04:56 PM

Dancing around the topic rarely gets through, so I suggest against hints. You just need to talk to him about it straight up. When you talk to him, though, use "I" statements to try to minimize the chances of a negative outcome. Example.. "I've been feeling a little ________ lately. Can we please spend a little more time _______?"

I hope it works out for you.



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Re: I need a bit of advice... - January 28th 2009, 05:08 PM

hm...the only problem with that is...he seems to have a one-track mind...if you know what I mean...
it's either games...or me...
so talking about difficult subjects are...well..difficult...as he'll try to avoid them..
but i'll try to be more...confident..?
^^
   
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Re: I need a bit of advice... - January 28th 2009, 05:45 PM

If he is being evasive, then the relationship will inevitably struggle. Tell him he needs to be mature and hear you out, because listening and hearing are essential to long-lasting, healthy relationships between people. And there are no excuses for that.


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