Should I risk our friendship?!

[Nosilla]

It's sorta like we're together, but we're not. I just don't get it.

I've known him for a long while. We talk almost everyday on instant messenger, as well as texting.

And it's about a lot of things. The kind of things you would talk about when there's nothing else to talk about. We have a lot of the same interests. Sometimes he tells me things he says he doesn't tell anyone else. He's very uncensored with me, and I like that. We talk about things that we think, but rarely say out loud to another person.

And how do I feel? I don't know. For the past two years, I've gone back and forth between liking him and tolerating him. I've sorta been the person to tell him straight/be harsh in situations where he's been lost. I care about him. A LOT. But as a friend or as more... ? I don't know.

I like how things are right now between us. I can be honest with him, and I like that. He is always there whenever I need to talk. He's extremely respectful to me.

The only things that bother me a bit: whenever we're around friends or each other in real life, he never talks to me. Or at least he doesn't talk to me as much. It's almost like a silent understanding thing? I don't know exactly what is going on there. He also drinks. Bleh. I could do without it, but whatever. That is his choice.

Now that I've written this... yeah, I like him. Very much. But do I tell him? Should I risk our friendship?! I know other people have been in situations like mine... what did you do?

[*~Circus Clown~*]

Hi Dear,
Well. This is my personal opinion, but I think that if you like him you shoudl let him know. You should give him a chance to tell you how he feels, and take it in stride. If he doesn't see your relationship matureing into something more then friends then you have not lost anything. You've actually become open to look for others. Either way, you won't loose anything. Unfortunately, and I'm sorry this is kind of blunt, but if he cannot treat you the same in person as he does over the internet then I'm not sure the feelings are mutual. On the other hand, they could be mutual but he doesnt know how to show it in person. I've seen both come true.
Overall, I think that its a good idea to tell him, but remember that nothing will change if he lets you know he doesnt feel the same. You guys can still be great friends. Don't let things get awkward!
Take care, and if you decide to tell him, I hope it works out for you, which it will. Either way. =)
Of course, you can PM me if you ever need anything! I'd love to help you dear.
Take care!

[Brandon]

Originally Posted by Nosilla

It's sorta like we're together, but we're not. I just don't get it.

I've known him for a long while. We talk almost everyday on instant messenger, as well as texting.

And it's about a lot of things. The kind of things you would talk about when there's nothing else to talk about. We have a lot of the same interests. Sometimes he tells me things he says he doesn't tell anyone else. He's very uncensored with me, and I like that. We talk about things that we think, but rarely say out loud to another person.

And how do I feel? I don't know. For the past two years, I've gone back and forth between liking him and tolerating him. I've sorta been the person to tell him straight/be harsh in situations where he's been lost. I care about him. A LOT. But as a friend or as more... ? I don't know.

I like how things are right now between us. I can be honest with him, and I like that. He is always there whenever I need to talk. He's extremely respectful to me.

The only things that bother me a bit: whenever we're around friends or each other in real life, he never talks to me. Or at least he doesn't talk to me as much. It's almost like a silent understanding thing? I don't know exactly what is going on there. He also drinks. Bleh. I could do without it, but whatever. That is his choice.

Now that I've written this... yeah, I like him. Very much. But do I tell him? Should I risk our friendship?! I know other people have been in situations like mine... what did you do?

I think that you're going to run through a lot of risks in your life, and just because you're risking something valuable doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. We go through relationship after relationship to get a better understanding of what being an effective boyfriend/girlfriend is all about and it helps us find "The One". There's no guarantee that everything will work out, but not every bad decision that we make is a mistake but more of a learning experience. Don't be afraid to risk the friendship if you feel as if you want to take the friendship a step further.

Now, above all, I think the least you can do is tell him that you like him. Tell him the truth. You already can talk to him about everything and feel comfortable, so if he's really all that respectful, he'll either take it slow with you, or he'll work with you on trying to find a guy like him who'll consider you dating material. If you keep it balled up inside, you'll just be back on TH asking the same thing only more depressed. Or perhaps, you won't and he'd already move onto a different female.

[MegaMadness]

Do you feel like there could be a future for you two together? Because if you do you should tell him. It's better to have tried, then not at all. What's the worst that could happen? Sure, it might be a bit awkward for a while but it will settle down. I say just have a go and see what happens. Good luck.

[WillO'Wisp]

From the sounds of it, you two are very close friends but you're not certain about your true feelings for him, so I would keep it quiet for now and just stay friends and see what happens from there.
If you really start to like him as more of a friend, think about it. Could it work out between you two? Could you still stay friends if it didn't? If you think so, and that it could all work out for the best, then I would say go for it, but think it all through carefully before you do anything too sudden.