Being nice to ex?

[Missy07]

I've tried for the past 7-ish months, to be kinda friends with my ex, and it has not worked out. There's just too much water under the bridge for us to get along well enough to be "good friends".

He's led me on for the past 7-ish months, telling me that he cares and blah blah blah. And for the first 5 months after we broke up, we would talk on a regular(ish) basis. He used to text me every few days..now it's very rare. He hasn't called me in a month. I haven't seen him in 2 months. Last week, I almost ran into him at the movies, but didn't see him face-to-face. That got him to start texting me again off and on for the last few days. I've asked him repeatedly why he's all of the sudden texting me again, and he's just like "Cause I wanted to talk to you" That's the ONLY answer he'll give. UGH, it's very frustrating.

So anyway, we're not exactly "friends." Aquaintances describes it better. So, his birthday is next week. Idk if I should text him to be nice and say happy birthday? Since we're kinda sorta on a speaking basis again?

Or should I just leave it be?

[jiggi]

Well, it never hurts to be nice and say Happy Birthday, I make sure I still send all my friends from school a happy birthday message, even when I haven't seen most of them for 2 years.
Do you have any idea why he's started texting you again? Does he just wanna be friends and misses you? Or do you think it may be something more?

[PSY]

Do whatever feels comfortable for you. Personally, I think he could have gone another 2+ months without texting you... but your close encounter caused him to be reminded of you, and he started texting again out of curiosity, boredom, or whatever. Does it really matter? What do YOU want? Is it worth staying in touch, as acquaintances? Or is it no longer worth the effort?

[ThrashAttack]

Id stay away from him. If he keeps being reminded of you it wont be healthy

[Jaguar]

It takes a long time to get over a breakup. Give yourself time. Often we don't really like someone we've dated, we just had a crush on who we thought they were. If you did really like each other, but the dating just didn't work out, you'll eventually be friends, just don't force it.

[Pandamonium]

If him talking to you/being around is going to cause you a lot of stress, friendship may not be the best thing. Sometimes it's hard to see past a break up and it makes it difficult for friendship to be an option. Down the road it might be, but if it's stressing you out now then give yourself some time away.

Saying "happy birthday" is just a nice thing for anyone who knows him to do, so if you want to wish him a happy birthday, do it. If you don't, then don't. Try not to over analyze everything that happens, you'll drive yourself up a wall.

Like Robin said, running into each other always stirs things up and it probably always will, but he may not try to contact you every time.

[Missy07]

Thanks for the replies

It does cause me a lot of stress to talk to him, cause it reminds me of how much he's hurt me in the past year. Part of me thinks it's not worth it to keep in touch with him, but the other part of me likes talking to him again. I keep to myself a lot -especially with guys- so he's the bascially the only guy I talk to. But I don't know why he's texting me again..but haven't heard from him today. Past week or so, it's been every 2 or 3 days.

It wouldn't hurt to be nice and say happy bday, but I don't want to give the wrong impression, ya know? I think I'm kinda overanalyzing it lol. Thanks again y'all!