TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts


Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr Hotlines

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
jinnie Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
jinnie's Avatar
 
Name: Jinnie
Age: 21
Gender: Female

Posts: 20
Join Date: January 5th 2010

NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 06:35 PM

Has anyone ever tried to implement NC after the ending of a relationship ? How did it turn out?

Just curious.

Btw NC is no contact rule.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
lauren_160 Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
lauren_160's Avatar
 
Name: Lauren
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 555
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 06:47 PM

We tried once, failed epically! x


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though Iíve been in dark places, Iíve survived and learned and become stronger".




   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Jocelyn. Offline
Now fight.
I've been here a while
********
 
Jocelyn.'s Avatar
 
Name: Joce
Gender: Female
Location: Paradise

Posts: 1,135
Join Date: January 28th 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 06:50 PM

I'm guessing 'no contact' means no seeing or speaking to each other?

If so, that's the only way to go in my opinion. If not, you'll never get over them. When ever I tried to stay 'just friends' with an ex we either 1. got back together and it ended more horribly than the first time, or 2. they found someone new and got extremely jealous.


When reality is a prison, your mind can set you free.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
jinnie Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
jinnie's Avatar
 
Name: Jinnie
Age: 21
Gender: Female

Posts: 20
Join Date: January 5th 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 06:56 PM

Yeah no contact means no text/email/facebook/seeing/phone calls. Absolutely nothing. You are completely removing the person from your life because he is a source of pain.

My ex is currently dating someone else and what's going on in his life is a emotionally-damaging information for me so I am cutting off contact with him.

I am just wondering if it can make things worse.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
DeadlySin Offline
Finding beauty in darkness.
I've been here a while
********
 
DeadlySin's Avatar
 
Name: Bridget
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: Land of all them lakes...

Posts: 1,360
Join Date: July 10th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 07:48 PM

For some of my relationships it worked really well.For a while...We always end up talking again.So it's more taking a break.Two relationships I did it and stayed with it.I think it was the best thing to do, I feel a lot better without any contact.So it depends on the person and situation =)


I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without.
  Send a message via AIM to DeadlySin Send a message via MSN to DeadlySin Send a message via Yahoo to DeadlySin Send a message via Skype™ to DeadlySin 
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Xujhan Offline
Resident Atheist
I can't get enough
*********
 
Xujhan's Avatar
 
Name: Fletcher
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,038
Join Date: January 17th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 07:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BadFish View Post
I'm guessing 'no contact' means no seeing or speaking to each other?

If so, that's the only way to go in my opinion. If not, you'll never get over them. When ever I tried to stay 'just friends' with an ex we either 1. got back together and it ended more horribly than the first time, or 2. they found someone new and got extremely jealous.
Option 1 - getting back together and ending badly - is definitely what happened with me and my recent ex. We're now in the "NC phase" - never knew it had a name - and yeah, I'm much happier this way. I mean, I'm ont happy about it - I'd still rather be with her - but this way I can get on with my life and find someone else. It's just better.

That said, that's just me. I know some people can move from a relationship to being friends with hardly any drama at all. So, it probably just depends on the people and the relationship. The best thing anyone can do is what's best for them.


The atoms that make up you and me were born in the hearts of suns many times greater than ours, and in time our atoms will once again reside amongst the stars. Life is but an idle dalliance of the cosmos, frail, and soon forgotten. We have been set adrift in an ocean whose tides we are only beginning to comprehend and with that maturity has come the realization that we are, at least for now, alone. In that loneliness, it falls to us to shine as brightly as the stars from which we came.
  Send a message via MSN to Xujhan  
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
dr2005 Online
Legal Beagle
I can't get enough
*********
 
dr2005's Avatar
 
Name: Dave
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: UK

Posts: 2,112
Join Date: February 14th 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 08:11 PM

I've tried the no-contact thing with my ex - I think it lasted just over a week. I think for me it just made me feel worse because it was almost like I was actively excluding her from my life, which wasn't making me feel any happier and just gave my conscience a stick to beat me with. We're not exactly in regular contact, but it's the right balance for where we now are.

I think NC can work and is probably the best solution for some people, especially if the relationship ended quite badly. That said, I think it's a case-by-case thing.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Thurineth Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Thurineth's Avatar
 
Name: Laura
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Aberdeen

Posts: 1,131
Join Date: May 28th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 08:19 PM

Me and my first bf did this, well, we argued to the point we both cut contact, which made it really awkward if we saw each other, but approx 9 months later, we spoke and we're ok friends now.

Last bf, it wasn't an option tbh. In a uni class of 30, and tutorial groups smaller I had to get over it, and had to be civil. Otherwise it was going to ruin uni for me. Its possible, if the only way
  Send a message via MSN to Thurineth Send a message via Skype™ to Thurineth 
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
jinnie Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
jinnie's Avatar
 
Name: Jinnie
Age: 21
Gender: Female

Posts: 20
Join Date: January 5th 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 08:31 PM

Has NC ever brought one of you back together with an ex?
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Thurineth Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Thurineth's Avatar
 
Name: Laura
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Aberdeen

Posts: 1,131
Join Date: May 28th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 08:34 PM

Nope
  Send a message via MSN to Thurineth Send a message via Skype™ to Thurineth 
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
jinnie Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
jinnie's Avatar
 
Name: Jinnie
Age: 21
Gender: Female

Posts: 20
Join Date: January 5th 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 08:36 PM

awww xD

I am having false hope then.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Thurineth Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Thurineth's Avatar
 
Name: Laura
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Aberdeen

Posts: 1,131
Join Date: May 28th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 08:40 PM

To be honest, guy number 1 in my post above asked me out again (repeatedly) and i refused. It can happen, but just remember your reasons for breaking up in the first place
  Send a message via MSN to Thurineth Send a message via Skype™ to Thurineth 
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
Justin Bieber Offline
=]
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Justin Bieber's Avatar
 
Name: Ask Away!
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere to be found

Posts: 4,744
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 08:42 PM

I didn't try no contact explicitly, but we ended up never speaking again


   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
DeadlySin Offline
Finding beauty in darkness.
I've been here a while
********
 
DeadlySin's Avatar
 
Name: Bridget
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: Land of all them lakes...

Posts: 1,360
Join Date: July 10th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 08:47 PM

Hahah it brought one of me and my ex's back together. About three times.We always end it and go back to no contact.It's a very back and forth relationship.Now we're trying to just be friend. =P


I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without.
  Send a message via AIM to DeadlySin Send a message via MSN to DeadlySin Send a message via Yahoo to DeadlySin Send a message via Skype™ to DeadlySin 
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
lana_303 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
lana_303's Avatar
 
Name: Lana
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario

Posts: 46
Join Date: March 4th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 08:57 PM

That's how most of my relationships end up. We try to keep in contact, but we always fall out. I told one of my exs not to contact me, best decision i made.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
jinnie Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
jinnie's Avatar
 
Name: Jinnie
Age: 21
Gender: Female

Posts: 20
Join Date: January 5th 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 09:05 PM

oh thank you for all your replies

My ex moved on with a new one just two weeks after I broke up with him. I regret my decision and now I want him back sooo badly... I begged for another chance and he said no because he said he loves his new girlfriend

Now I am going NC cause this is the only way I will heal... although I am doing this for me I wonder if it can bring him back to me even though he is currently involved in a new relationship lol. I can't believe he just moved on like this after one year and half
   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
kingsprincess724's Avatar
 
Name: Jessie
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 27
Join Date: March 1st 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 09:12 PM

i don't want to give you false hope because honestly NC bringing people back together does not happen very often because it causes the relationship to completely die but I have had it happen to me.

I dated a guy on and off for four years and I broke up with over a text message while he was at Army training (horrible I know) for someoone else (who ruined me). Anyway we obviously went NC after that then several months later he started to try to contact me and get back together after he went through a couple of meaningless relationships. I didn't take him back but it can happen I just think it's unlikely.

It would probably be best for you if you just move on, less pain would occur in the long run
  Send a message via AIM to kingsprincess724 Send a message via Skype™ to kingsprincess724 
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
jinnie Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
jinnie's Avatar
 
Name: Jinnie
Age: 21
Gender: Female

Posts: 20
Join Date: January 5th 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 1st 2010, 09:26 PM

thank you for the advice
   
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
bee Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
bee's Avatar
 
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 73
Join Date: August 29th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 2nd 2010, 04:02 AM

It's the only way I've ever been able to get over someone.
   
  (#20 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Addict
************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 9,142
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 2nd 2010, 07:12 PM

It wasn't COMPLETELY "no contact" with my ex-boyfriend... but close enough. We spoke once or twice, around Halloween (which was two months after I broke up with him). After that, we spoke to each other one more time, maybe 8 months later? I wanted a proper apology from him. =P That allowed me to finally gain closure and move on, so I haven't spoken to him in over two and a half years. Definitely the way to go, if you're coming out of an abusive relationship.





   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
Brandon Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Brandon's Avatar
 
Age: 24
Gender: ♂
Location: ☼ A t l a n t a ☼

Posts: 2,454
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 4th 2010, 02:48 AM

My last girlfriend...she needed to work out some kinks. We've...had flings a couple times and they've always resulted in "no contact". I like the rule because it makes the recovery process (when there actually was a recovery process :P) a lot easier. The last fling we had, she was being manipulative so I just kicked the bitch to the curb and told her to never talk to me again. So, I like the NC rule.



"I may not be smart, but I am stupid." - Brandon

Got a question and want brutal honesty? PM me!
  Send a message via MSN to Brandon Send a message via Yahoo to Brandon Send a message via Skype™ to Brandon 
  (#22 (permalink)) Old
Pending...Work in progess
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Work_In_Progress's Avatar
 
Name: Matt
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Location: Canada, New Brunswick

Posts: 759
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: NC Rule? - March 4th 2010, 03:10 AM

Love the NC rule!
   
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
jinnie Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
jinnie's Avatar
 
Name: Jinnie
Age: 21
Gender: Female

Posts: 20
Join Date: January 5th 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 6th 2010, 03:08 AM

Hum... should we break NC to say Happy Birthday???
   
  (#24 (permalink)) Old
Elle
Average Joe
***
 
don'tstopbelievin's Avatar
 
Name: Elle
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Newcastle

Posts: 137
Join Date: February 6th 2010

Re: NC Rule? - March 6th 2010, 03:17 AM

I have never done this and don't think I ever would do this.
No offence to the rest of you but I'd feel seriously childish doing it. That's not to say it IS childish or that I consider you to be childish if you follow this rule but I feel like I'd be being childish.
I much prefer the "we're no longer in love or friends, but I can be civil, I want to be civil" approach. Eventually you DO get over that person, you both move on and you can work towards becoming friends.

I broke up with my ex two and a half years ago. I lost my virginity to him. We barely spoke for about a year, bumping into each other randomly and saying hi or having the occasional chat online. Eventually we added each other on facebook and would occasionally comment each others statuses or pictures or talk on facebook chat. Now we talk every week or so and plan to see each other over the holidays. He's in a relationship and I'm totally over him romantically. I was the one that dumped him in the first place because I realised I wasn't in love with him and I hated the idea of being with someone I didn't love. Anyway my point is I'm glad we went through the tough awkward phase to get where we are now. It's taken two and a half years but he's finally my best friend again.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
rule

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off





All material copyright ©1998-2014, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.