Sorry sorry sorry

[DanceCommander]

I have a bit of a problem where I do not know when to say sorry. In fact, I say it in way to much excess. I am sorry for the littlest things, things that apparently don't need an apology for but I that I feel I need to say sorry for. I guess it comes from a fear of getting angry or conflict or displeasing my boyfriend.

My point is, does anyone have some sort of a... general criteria for when one should apologize and when one shouldn't? I have nothing to base one off of anymore, and I am tired of needlessly saying sorry because it makes me feel insecure and because I feel if I one day really need to apologize for something big, it won't mean as much.

Lastly, has anyone else had this problem? How did you deal with it, or at least cut down? I have had years and years of self-esteem training and stuff already, but this is a problem I seem to have trouble conquering.

[Rican Roll]

Hey Superstar.

Try setting a limit for yourself, as in so many apologies per day. This way you can learn to manage your problem. If you give yourself x amount of apologies per day, you'll have to start cutting back on the small things to save them for the bigger ones.

Of course this really all depends on just how serious the problem is and if you have the will power to be able to follow through with said limit. Habits are hard to break, but not impossible. It all depends on you.

Always remember, we are what we do; for better or worse, is all up to you.

RR

[Gaia]

I have the same problem as you I must say. It's difficult to stop, and sometimes you won't notice when you stop doing it, but try and think before you say sorry, and replace it with something else.
Eventually, you will stop saying it so much, but you do need to work on it. If you do something that he reacts badly to, then apologise, if not, think of something else to say.
Good luck.
Lou.