I can't stand her anymore, it's getting annoying. I need your advice.

[Dagobert]

So since I’ve joined this school I decided it would be great to join some clubs and sort of meet new people that way. I ended up joining a drama club where we practice our acting skills naturally, and to be honest this club seems extremely stupid and I just don‘t know how to get myself out of it. There’s a girl in this drama club, her name is Yumi. She’s one of those artsy type of girls who have no sense of humor at all but will probably laugh at some shit stand up comedy that no one else would find funny. Anyways, ever since I’ve joined this drama club she seems to try to get close to me by involving me in her shit ass rehearsals that God knows how much I hate them. So this one day she gets a call about her mother being in the hospital and she screams like a damn psycho bitch and runs out of the classroom. Obviously everyone else hates her and for some reason they wanted me to go with her to the hospital, now I clearly hate her but I was kind of feeling lonely down there so I was like what the hell, why not? I’ve never done it in a hospital and with her being all sad I’ll just take advantage of the situation. So when we reach there she goes ahead of me while I park the car.

Now I’m all excited about what could possible happen, and I’m thinking of where in the hospital we should do it, whether it be the morgue, an empty room, or even the bathroom since I knew this hospital had large bathrooms. So I’m taking the elevator to the floor where her mother happens to be in, and here I am trying to control the smirk on my face from the excitement. Also this girl isn’t hot, she’s a bit skinny but she’s not bad looking either. I mean I would have to be gay to be all picky over here. Anyways, as the door of the elevator opens up, I hear a God forsaken argument, and it’s Yumi’s voice. See now what happened was that her mother wasn’t sick or anything, it was her husband that was in the hospital dying slowly. Apparently he dumped his wife and daughter for a younger woman and now after all these years that younger woman left him when he got sick with God knows what he has, last stages of aids probably. So his first wife felt bad for him and still has feelings for him but Yumi hates him, she wants him dead. So that situation there killed me down there a little bit, I mean I was not even in the mood you know what I mean? Well I tried cheering her up and like a typical whining bitch she went on about how I don’t understand what it’s like to be in her situation, I mean I got circumcised when I was 11 that shit hurts at that age, it ain’t easy.

I thought drama got over but every time when we meet up in the class to practice she feels like she has to share her damn bullshit drama with me as though I care. I mean I could care less about her father let alone this girl when I’m clearly getting no boner at all talking to her now and can see things going nowhere with her. She keeps telling me how she wants to be an actress and all that and not be like her mother and be a strong woman instead, you know, the typical butch dyke talk. I tried ditching the drama club as much as I can and do my best to ignore her but she keeps talking to me when she sees me and always wants to drag me into this drama club.

Maybe if I knew I could get it on with her I'd tolerate her bullshit but I can tell it won't, because she seems the type that would try to dominate you in a relationship. What the hell do I do to get rid of Yumi?

[PlayingPretend]

This was beyond one of the most horrible, sexist posts I've read in a while, but it's not my place to lecture you on why taking advantage of someone, especially in that situation, is wrong, and it's also not my place to call "troll!" so I will simply respond with this:

Do something right, and tell her straight. Quit the bloody drama club if you don't enjoy it, and tell Yumi you're not interested. Flat-out tell her. Don't call her a "bitch," don't use the term "drama bullshit," etc. etc. and don't tell her what you planned to use her for all along. Simply tell her that you're not interested, and if she continues to try talking to you, suggest she see a therapist or the school counsellor and tell her you don't feel you're the right person to be talking to. It's as simple as that. Just tell her the truth, but do so in a way you're not being an asshole about it.

[Dagobert]

Originally Posted by PlayingPretend

This was beyond one of the most horrible, sexist posts I've read in a while, but it's not my place to lecture you on why taking advantage of someone, especially in that situation, is wrong, and it's also not my place to call "troll!" so I will simply respond with this:

Do something right, and tell her straight. Quit the bloody drama club if you don't enjoy it, and tell Yumi you're not interested. Flat-out tell her. Don't call her a "bitch," don't use the term "drama bullshit," etc. etc. and don't tell her what you planned to use her for all along. Simply tell her that you're not interested, and if she continues to try talking to you, suggest she see a therapist or the school counsellor and tell her you don't feel you're the right person to be talking to. It's as simple as that. Just tell her the truth, but do so in a way you're not being an asshole about it.

I'm actually I'm not sexists, not sure how any of that sounded sexist. It's just that I've always been the good guy so my friends told me to change and this was my way of changing, I figured I got little time on this earth why not live it. May seem wrong to some people but it's help me stay positive about live now.

The problem is that she's so emotional and whatnot that if I do tell her that it'll make me seem like an ass. Like I always have this happy and positive tone when I talk but still I'm afraid I'll seem like an ass and that she'll go ape shit crazy about it and do something to her and then have everyone blame me for it. I was thinking of going to the hospital and telling her mother or father about this but then I felt like this girl might get extremely upset. Also I would get myself out of this drama club but there's another girl I like, you see the student in charge of the club has a girlfriend and she's in the same club. So I'm sort of sticking there trying my luck if anything goes bad between those two I can feel better when I approach her and not feel guilty that I just stole some other guys girlfriend. Also part of my past is still in me, like I feel bad if I ditch this club and mess up their entire drama that's coming up since I got a pretty important role for some reason even though it's kind of obvious I don't care about it.

Also I didn't get what you meant by "it's also not my place to call "troll!" Sorry but I move back forth between American and Japan that there's some lingo I don't understand.

[PlayingPretend]

I wasn't sure if this post was serious or if it was intended to rile people up, and I apologise considering when I first read it, I was a little bit shocked (maybe because I've been hurt in this way before), but what I should have done was leave it and then come back to it later, so I'm sorry.

I think I like the idea of who you were before... Just because life is short, it doesn't mean you should take advantage of someone's weak and vulnerable emotional state for sex, and it doesn't mean you should use girls for sex at all. I feel that someone should keep their integriy, their pride, and, no matter how much they change, their decency, but that's my opinion. I'm not sure what to say about the girl you like. Sometimes that happens and you have to more or less get over it; I've been in that situation too and it sucks, but as I've learned, someone else always comes along. I didn't know you'd already got a role in their performance, so I definitely think you're doing the right thing about sticking it out.

I do feel you should still tell Yumi about how you're feeling. Maybe tell her you want to be there for her but that you feel she should be talking to a therapist or the school counsellor and that they could do more for her. If she does something to herself, people shouldn't freak out and blame you because it is not your fault. People make conscious decisions to do or not do to themselves. I think what you need to do, though, is set a boundary. Boundaries are important in any relationship, and telling Yumi that you're not the right person to be talking to might be the best thing. It gets you out of a tough situation (though I have trouble setting this boundary myself) and it helps direct Yumi to a better source of support (maybe even offer to help her find that help).

I had a friend who most recently told me he no longer cared about anything about me anymore, and later said that that was incorrect, and that he no longer cared about fixing my problems "which may or may not be as bad." Hearing him say that killed. My entire world absolutely shattered, and I'm still suffering from the result of that. I'm not saying you have to say something like that to Yumi. You don't want to be cruel. I am saying that you do need to tell her how you feel, because to be frank, she's not going to get the support she needs if someone truly doesn't care, yanno? You'd be doing both you and Yumi a favour by directing her to someone else.

Again, I apologise for my harsh tone and negative judgment in my other post. I hope this one was a little more constructive.

[Dagobert]

Originally Posted by PlayingPretend

I wasn't sure if this post was serious or if it was intended to rile people up, and I apologise considering when I first read it, I was a little bit shocked (maybe because I've been hurt in this way before), but what I should have done was leave it and then come back to it later, so I'm sorry.

I think I like the idea of who you were before... Just because life is short, it doesn't mean you should take advantage of someone's weak and vulnerable emotional state for sex, and it doesn't mean you should use girls for sex at all. I feel that someone should keep their integriy, their pride, and, no matter how much they change, their decency, but that's my opinion. I'm not sure what to say about the girl you like. Sometimes that happens and you have to more or less get over it; I've been in that situation too and it sucks, but as I've learned, someone else always comes along. I didn't know you'd already got a role in their performance, so I definitely think you're doing the right thing about sticking it out.

I do feel you should still tell Yumi about how you're feeling. Maybe tell her you want to be there for her but that you feel she should be talking to a therapist or the school counsellor and that they could do more for her. If she does something to herself, people shouldn't freak out and blame you because it is not your fault. People make conscious decisions to do or not do to themselves. I think what you need to do, though, is set a boundary. Boundaries are important in any relationship, and telling Yumi that you're not the right person to be talking to might be the best thing. It gets you out of a tough situation (though I have trouble setting this boundary myself) and it helps direct Yumi to a better source of support (maybe even offer to help her find that help).

I had a friend who most recently told me he no longer cared about anything about me anymore, and later said that that was incorrect, and that he no longer cared about fixing my problems "which may or may not be as bad." Hearing him say that killed. My entire world absolutely shattered, and I'm still suffering from the result of that. I'm not saying you have to say something like that to Yumi. You don't want to be cruel. I am saying that you do need to tell her how you feel, because to be frank, she's not going to get the support she needs if someone truly doesn't care, yanno? You'd be doing both you and Yumi a favour by directing her to someone else.

Again, I apologise for my harsh tone and negative judgment in my other post. I hope this one was a little more constructive.

Thanks for the advice and no need to apologize, and you're right there's no need to take advantage and now that I think about it, I doubt I would have the courage to go through with it that day. It's just like one of those moments you can't think straight and you're just focused on one thing until it just hits you and you realize it, and that's how it was for me. It's just that my attitude in life has changed due to certain incidents that took place in my life and the old me was just sort of dragging me down in life so I just wanted to change.

[PlayingPretend]

I appreciate your understanding and patience, and I can understand what you mean there. I, too, have experienced similar circumstances that have changed my life for the better of thinking the whole "just wanna have fun" thing. And I'll admit I've played people for my own entertainment (was more about control than fun, however), but it's because of that, because of the fact that I've hurt and because of the fact I've been hurt, that I've realised there are more ways to have fun than the ones that involve hurting someone else's feelings. But I do understand those "moments of weakness," so to speak.