grades getting in the way?

[skaftw]

well iv been dating this girl a little over a month now and everythng seems to be good, the biggest rif between us is that she gets perfect grades, and my grades are slipping or r already gone, she helps me with my math which is one of the classes im failing and aside from the fact that i am also getting grounded for my grades when she helps me with my HW it just seems to b stressful for both of us and im afraid she will think less of me, she is in algebra 2 and im only in algebra 1, we r both the same age, but im failing and she is A'sing her's, she is rly sierious about grades and im not, i just dont want anything to get in the way, is this somthing that could possibly get in the way l8tr? is this making her think less of me?

[almostinvisible]

I don't think it makes her think less of you. It's great that she's helping you out. Everyone is different when it comes to schoolwork. If you think it's getting in the way though you could consider finding a tutor or if you have something like after school help then you could do that. A teacher or guidance counselor could probably help you out if you wanted to look into that. Don't stress over it though.

[SimplyComplex]

Hey,

I don't know what she thinks about your grades. But, you should think of it this way. Would she still be dating you if they bothered her? She doesn't have to be dating you. She doesn't have to do anything. She probably does it because she wants to. Yes, it's true, people will always be better than you at something. Just because you're not the best in school, doesn't mean you're less of a person. You can't compare yourself to anyone. You need to accept and work with what you have. If you don't, you'll always be looking down on yourself. Sometimes, what we think of ourselves and what others think is completely different. You might think this makes you look less intellectual when, in reality, no one thinks that of you. Sometimes, it's really easy to be hard on ourselves. You're trying, it sounds to me. If you try and give it all you can, then be happy with what you can get. If she doesn't like you for who you are, then you two shouldn't be together. I would try asking her. See what she thinks about how you feel. Let her know that you feel this way. Communication is very important in strong relationships. If you want to talk more, I'm only a PM away. :]

~Stay strong and have faith.

[delilah]

noo no way, my boyfriend is the same
we're in uni together - so we do take different subjects, so i can't actually help him. but i help him set up study guides and apply himself properly.

he's the same as you, he doesn't really care about his grades as much (or didn't before we started dating) and doesn't really know how to work at them. he is a bright guy, he just finds it hard to apply himself.

and honestly, i love being able to help him get organised! i love to organise myself and i like to study as strange as that sounds haha. so i like being able to share with him my ideas and techniques for doing well, i love seeing his grades improve because of my help and i like that it improves his parents idea of me as well!

i'm sure there are things you can do well that she can't do, my boyf can play the guitar like ridiclously well and has recorded songs etc, im so not musically inclined at all, and i love that he is slowly teaching me to play guitar, however terrible i am at it.

Think about it this way, do you care at all that she is not as good as you are, maybe at sport? or at a musical instrument? or at making people laugh? or whatever it is that you are good at

Personally, id hate to have a boyf who just wasn't trying. If he had given up at uni/school AND wasnt getting a job or an apprenticeship i'd be a little dissapointed in him. BUT if my guy is trying, then i don't care if he is on the dole and lives with his parents, as long as he is making a really honest effort to reach his potential. If you're trying hard, thats the best anyone can ask from you, and if she likes you or loves you, you at your best is going to be exactly what she likes, you!

[Exelus]

I agree with Delilah. I'm a senior and I've already had some of the classes that my sophomore girlfriend is taking, so I can help her out with a lot of the classwork. She earns good grades by herself, but she enjoys me helping her and I enjoy giving her my time. I'm guessing that your girlfriend doesn't mind donating her time to someone she loves.

I don't think this is a relationship killer, although improving your grades can't hurt. If you're trying as hard as you can and still can't make the grade then that's fine, some people just don't do well in certain classes. I suck at math and I've struggled with every math class I've taken, but I can still get easy A's in honors classes in every other subject. But what is a relationship killer is overall attitude. If you simply don't care about grades, you may not find your soul mate in someone who values academic success very highly.

If you want to know what she thinks, you should ask her about it. Agreeing with SC, I believe communication and honesty are the 2 most important things in a relationship, so don't be afraid to ask.