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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Arrow Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 10:19 PM

I've noticed that there are a lot of people on here that think they've been in "love" before, and I know there have been. I for one, have been in love, not puppy love, real love. Of course everyone gets that person that you love because the way he/she smiles at you, or is real cute, or helps you through tough times... But I believe that when you are in real honest love, it's something special and not common. We take the words "I love you" for granted, because we want to be loved, it's a nature of the heart to find the person that fits us.

What do you believe the difference between puppy love and true love is?

I believe true love is matured. It's seeing the future not just as a fantasy, but as a goal, and most of all knowing no matter how easy you want it to be, it's almost always difficult. In your lovers eyes, you don't just see a crush, you see a longing for happiness that you want to pursue for the other person. When you make love, you don't know where you end and they begin. When you look at them, you don't giggle and smile, but you're able to look into their eyes in an unfamiliar way, and feel more than comfortable.

P.S. HAPPY VALENTINES!
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 10:27 PM

Is it anyone's place to judge the quality of nature of anyone's love?

I would like to think that all the endeavors and relationships with people that I spend my time and effort to make fruitful and prosperous.. are worth at least an honorable mention in the book of all things grand and noble. "Puppy Love" sounds like something you can blow off and get over in a week.. and I would like to think I don't have relationships like this with my friends, family, passions or lovers.

And if there was a tell tale sign that something was love, an objective signifier, then life would be too easy, wouldn't it? So don't judge


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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 10:32 PM

I'm just seeing how people know the difference between the two. Not trying to bash.
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 10:41 PM

I'm sorry Vincent, but 'Puppy Love' is only all too common, especially around your age group. It's quite astounding how many young teenagers can mistake infatuation for love.

Love is something that requires a strong foundation of time, trust, and dedication. I can't even count all the threads I've seen on here that begin with, "I met this girl/guy last week and he/she's just amazing! I'm completely in love!" Etc. Etc. There's even more of the, "My boy/girlfriend and I have been dating for ~4 weeks now and I'm so in love with him/her, BUT ..."

I'm sorry, but in your mid to early teenage years, real love is pretty rare. Most couples just aren't even together long enough to build that kind of relationship. Even the ones that are, aren't solid healthy relationships, or even close. Most of the ones I've seen are even obviously venomous, and no amount of 'love' can change that.

People are stupid. Given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe its true, or because they're afraid it might be true. Peoples' heads are full of knowledge, facts and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool.

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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 10:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rican Roll View Post
I'm sorry Vincent, but 'Puppy Love' is only all too common, especially around your age group. It's quite astonding how many young teenagers can mistake infatuation for love.

Love is something that requires a strong foundation of time, trust, and dedication. I can't even count all the threads I've seen on here that begin with, "I met this girl/guy last week and he/she's just amazing! I'm completely in love!" Etc. Etc. There's even more of the, "My boy/girlfriend and I have been dating for ~4 weeks now and I'm so in love with him/her, BUT ..."

I'm sorry, but in your mid to early teenage years, real love is pretty rare. Most couples just aren't even together long enough to build that kind of relationship. Even the ones that are, aren't solid healthy relationships, or even close. Most of the ones I've seen are even obviously venomous, and no amount of 'love' can change that.

People are stupid. Given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe its true, or because they're afraid it might be true. Peoples' heads are full of knowledge, facts and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. Peopl can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool.

RR
I feel exactly the same. Put some of these teens through relationship trials, and see what happens. Real love endures because there is a set foundation. Time is given, and effort.
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 11:03 PM

I think I endorse what Edna is saying...
But I also see where Rican Roll is coming from.
I really think it depends from what vantage you're viewing the issue from. This being in the relationship and dating forum jilts it toward the topic of teen relationships. It'll all come down to the individual, however, in the end...some will take things with more levity than others who take things with more seriousness/maturity/whatever you want to call it.


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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 11:05 PM

Try two years. More than... Seriously, I've know 35 year old women who fit your description, too.

When my friends tell me they're in love, I take a deep breath and try to accept their feelings, because I've never been them and I honestly wouldn't know.

Love is a big deal to me. Not just with my boyfriend, but also with my friends and family. I put a lot of effort into keeping things honest and compassionate between myself and the people around me, and I get kind of peeved when people are willing to write all the non-numerical evidence off in favor of a verdict based on numbers like age and time.


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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 11:09 PM

I can honestly say I have been in "real love" twice... Even though I am just 18. One relationship was for 18 months, and the one I'm in at the moment is 15 months and counting... I understand what you're all saying - in one sense, yes, it is a difficult thing to judge... But when you are so completely at ease with someone that they are almost an extension of yourself, and you often forget that you are separate beings... When you can talk for hours on any level - however deep or however trivial... When you know that you have to be realistic about the future of the relationship - not get too caught up in "we're going to be together forever"... When they are your best friend and understand you on "soul level"... I think that's real love.
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 11:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xHolyValorx View Post
I'm just seeing how people know the difference between the two. Not trying to bash.
Puppy Love - Only about there and then and what others think.

Real Love - An actual part of your life, something which will change your life, something which is fixed. No matter what they look like, what age, don't care about what anyone else thinks. Feel like you can't breath if you have any doubts.

There's many more differences, they're just the basics
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 11:26 PM

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Originally Posted by Jack120 View Post
Puppy Love - Only about there and then and what others think.

Real Love - An actual part of your life, something which will change your life, something which is fixed. No matter what they look like, what age, don't care about what anyone else thinks. Feel like you can't breath if you have any doubts.

There's many more differences, they're just the basics
Well, sounds like you're close to figuring it out, if you haven't already.
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 11:47 PM

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Originally Posted by xHolyValorx View Post
Well, sounds like you're close to figuring it out, if you haven't already.
I think I missed out one of the most important ones :O

Real Love only comes when your not looking.
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 11:49 PM

Not always. But yeah. That's how it happened for me.
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 12th 2009, 11:51 PM

I def agree with the original post of real love being matured, and I think that's one of the biggest differences between puppy love and real love. Any kind of crush gives a surge of hormones and feel good vibes, it's after that subsides that you still adore everything about a person - the good and the bad (and being able to recognise they do have flaws but accept them anyway) - then it's on the way to true love. I think when you have found true love it doesn't matter how many obsatcles are in your way or how much you have to sacrifice, you just want to overcome everything and not let even one thing change how you feel.

I believe I've found true love once and hope to find it again soon
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 13th 2009, 12:01 AM

I think 'puppy love' is close to the same as a 'crush', only maybe a step higher. It's when you're with a person and you 'like' them like crazy. I would define it as feelings you get at the beginning of the relationship, after you've moved on from the 'crushing' part.

Real love, the kind that usually takes a long while to get over, is something that takes time to get to. Now I'm not saying that love has a specified time, but if you're saying 'I love you' after a week, it's probably not the real deal yet. Only after getting to know someone can you truly fall in love with them. The falling in love with someone and accepting all of their imperfections is what takes so long, which is why it's so hard to move on from. Usually, anyways. I guess it depends on the person.

That's my take on it, anyways. I could probably babble on forever about this topic.



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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 13th 2009, 03:22 AM

*expletive* love

Sounds silly but really think about it. 50% of the marriages in the US end in divorce. It's an ugly, capitalistic, materialistic, conceited world we live in, there's no denying or changing it. Just when you think you know someone inside and out you'll get your cage bent and rattled. There is NEVER anyone who is 100% besides yourself, they can be 99 (incredibly rare) and you can say they are 100, but they can still leave many ways at any moment without cause or reason. Maybe it's just who I am and where I placed my passion, my everything in life, but love always ends fucked up, you have to be lucky for it not to, and it will definitely never happen at this age.

Also, OP, you're a teenager too. You can act like you've had your eyes opened to more but looking down on people isn't really demonstrating good persuasive technique, so I'm not convinced. You don't have to work to fall in love, and things are situational. You could try to make a set of general rules, but they haven't been made already because someone will say "but here's an exception to this, this, and/or this". That's why there is a judiciary branch instead of just a legislative to make them and an executive to enforce them. This is because, effectively everything is an exception. There are plenty of times that there is no exception, no excuse, but there's always two sides, always. At least 40% (my judgment) of the time it is actually legitimate. I'm not saying don't be opinionated, but pick your battles wisely.


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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 13th 2009, 11:19 PM

I just want to make one comment- this is soemthing I have studied tons on for psych classes and the such- yes american's have a 50% divorce rate BUT one of the things people don't realize/consider is that while 50% is higher than it use to be alot more people arn't getting married- so that 50% sounds like a lot, and yes it is more divorces than there use to be for numerous reasons- but that 50% is out of a less number. Sorry, i know this isnt the completel subject of this thread, I just have to post that because its something that i've done research on and gets me. the divorce rate may seem high because there are less people getting married.

as for love- i think there are different types of love but no one can really narrow/judge them. You can't put love in a box. If you can then maybe it isnt real love. Real love goes beyond what you can describe in a a scentence.
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 13th 2009, 11:25 PM

I have been in real love. I'm married and have a kid on the way.

-I get it when you can tell your significant other ANYTHING. Even the thing you fear most, and that you can put their needs infront of theirs.
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 14th 2009, 12:00 AM

Ugh. I hate when people bring up true love. I may not know much, but I have opinions, and I stand by my opinion pretty strongly on this one.

I think the line is very much blurred between puppy love and true love. However, there is a difference between infatuation and love. That's a whole 'nother topic. There are so many dimensions and definitions for love, I don't think you can define where true love begins. I'm being as brutally honest as I can when I say that I don't think I've seen true love yet, but I have a girlfriend of 11 months whom I love very much and that I want to stay faithful to through college and beyond. She makes me happy, I make her happy, and we're both willing to stick it out, so who cares whether or not its true love? By my personal definition this isn't true love because we have areas in which we have to compromise and areas in which we have to change to make each other happy. We make those changes though, and we're willing to compromise, so I think this does count as very strong love.

Please take this next statement with a grain of salt, because its just my opinion. I think its strange how so many people say that they've experienced true love, but true love is very rare and its something that very very very few people have. I'm willing to admit that I haven't found my soul mate because I've not seen anyone who's perfect.
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 14th 2009, 12:10 AM

Puppy love is self-fulfilling prophecy made up by society. If a society puts undue pressure on a young couple to split up and makes it very difficult for them to split up. It is then likely that they will split up and society can say they were right all along and call it puppy love.

Why else does puppy love refer exclusively to young couples and not older ones if this is false?
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 14th 2009, 12:43 AM

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Originally Posted by Exelus View Post
Ugh. I hate when people bring up true love. I may not know much, but I have opinions, and I stand by my opinion pretty strongly on this one.

I think the line is very much blurred between puppy love and true love. However, there is a difference between infatuation and love. That's a whole 'nother topic. There are so many dimensions and definitions for love, I don't think you can define where true love begins. I'm being as brutally honest as I can when I say that I don't think I've seen true love yet, but I have a girlfriend of 11 months whom I love very much and that I want to stay faithful to through college and beyond. She makes me happy, I make her happy, and we're both willing to stick it out, so who cares whether or not its true love? By my personal definition this isn't true love because we have areas in which we have to compromise and areas in which we have to change to make each other happy. We make those changes though, and we're willing to compromise, so I think this does count as very strong love.

Please take this next statement with a grain of salt, because its just my opinion. I think its strange how so many people say that they've experienced true love, but true love is very rare and its something that very very very few people have. I'm willing to admit that I haven't found my soul mate because I've not seen anyone who's perfect.
Well that is "real" love. It's annoying that people would get annoyed by people being together and giving titles to emotions that really can't be defined as the same thing for everyone. You two are committed and are actually able to change for each other, that says a lot more than you give credit for in terms of relationships. I have very different experiences in love and you can say I haven't but this is the internet, I care about my credibility as much as I care about my shoe size. I would say I have experienced true love, because passion may as well be it. Regardless of how everyone else thought, I know what I felt and thought.

And yes, less may be married, but how many couples stay unmarried after kids? Marriage means nothing but a an entitlement to half of someone's stuff without commitment. So even if there are lots of unmarried couples with kids, they're still breaking the commitment when they break up, and it does happen, a lot. You can't say that 50% of the people live happily ever after when I haven't seen a single person who has.


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  (#21 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 14th 2009, 01:12 AM

Anyuser, while your opinions may not be in line with the majority vote, you've definitely got more of an argument than anyone else does. Saying that something comes from "personal experience" sounds awfully elitist to my ears. I agree with you in saying that love has different definitions for everyone.

For clarification though, my idea of true love is when you have two people that are so perfectly matched that they have no relationship flaws. Love at first sight, with a happily ever after attached.

My idea of strong love is much more common though. That is when you have two people that are compatible, but are willing to work with each other to smooth over the rough parts. Each partner cares for the well being of the other one more than they do themselves. In a word: Altruism. This is much more common, and much more identifiable than the near impossible, highly elusive 'true' love.

As for puppy love... I really like Hyper Sonic's definition of puppy love, so that's my new standard for puppy love.

P.S. Just my opinions, its not set in stone. Use your own definitions if you want. I say that true love is all but impossible because it really ticks me off when people say that "you don't know true love". So I make it satirical.
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 14th 2009, 01:34 AM

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Originally Posted by Exelus View Post
Anyuser, while your opinions may not be in line with the majority vote, you've definitely got more of an argument than anyone else does. Saying that something comes from "personal experience" sounds awfully elitist to my ears. I agree with you in saying that love has different definitions for everyone.

For clarification though, my idea of true love is when you have two people that are so perfectly matched that they have no relationship flaws. Love at first sight, with a happily ever after attached.

My idea of strong love is much more common though. That is when you have two people that are compatible, but are willing to work with each other to smooth over the rough parts. Each partner cares for the well being of the other one more than they do themselves. In a word: Altruism. This is much more common, and much more identifiable than the near impossible, highly elusive 'true' love.

As for puppy love... I really like Hyper Sonic's definition of puppy love, so that's my new standard for puppy love.

P.S. Just my opinions, its not set in stone. Use your own definitions if you want. I say that true love is all but impossible because it really ticks me off when people say that "you don't know true love". So I make it satirical.
I agree mostly, at the same time I don't feel it would be a total system shock to see a couple at the age of 80, fell in love at high school, and have been happy ever since. Anything's possible and I don't want to exclude possibilities, but playing the odds with the stakes I set in my mind I don't think it's worth the risk.

Puppy love doesn't really bother me, people will think what they will until they learn. Some people will never learn, but it's an imperfect world, might as well do what I can to fix it and carry on my way. Posting cynical views is one way to help.


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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 14th 2009, 01:58 AM

When I am finally with someone, and will know that I am in love, which will be a very long time as the love needs to be logical for me, I will let all of you know.
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 14th 2009, 04:42 AM

Ummm love is love. Thats all I can say.<3
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 16th 2009, 02:45 AM

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Originally Posted by Exelus View Post
Ugh. I hate when people bring up true love. I may not know much, but I have opinions, and I stand by my opinion pretty strongly on this one.

I think the line is very much blurred between puppy love and true love. However, there is a difference between infatuation and love. That's a whole 'nother topic. There are so many dimensions and definitions for love, I don't think you can define where true love begins. I'm being as brutally honest as I can when I say that I don't think I've seen true love yet, but I have a girlfriend of 11 months whom I love very much and that I want to stay faithful to through college and beyond. She makes me happy, I make her happy, and we're both willing to stick it out, so who cares whether or not its true love? By my personal definition this isn't true love because we have areas in which we have to compromise and areas in which we have to change to make each other happy. We make those changes though, and we're willing to compromise, so I think this does count as very strong love.

Please take this next statement with a grain of salt, because its just my opinion. I think its strange how so many people say that they've experienced true love, but true love is very rare and its something that very very very few people have. I'm willing to admit that I haven't found my soul mate because I've not seen anyone who's perfect.
You make some very good points there and have impacted on my opinion now. I think love is something that shouldn't be generally defined and that's the beauty of love, that it's different for everyone and every couple because I think two people define love together.
   
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Re: Puppy Love Vs. Real Love - February 16th 2009, 10:30 AM

I don't believe there's such a thing as someone who's perfect for you. Someone who's just like you is too similar and its unlikely you'll work - but then again, I'm not sure someone who fills in all your gaps is right either, I don't know.

I'd like to think my definition of puppy love is when you see someone and think theyre perfect, that they have no flaws, and you idolize them, put them on a pedestal.
On the other hand, real love is something when you see all their flaws, their faults, and dont necessarily accept all of them but your willing to work at it. You argue and debate things. You might fight but you eventually see things from the others point of view and make up. Real love is something where that whole person, is just so important to you, no matter how hard it might be, in the end you go that extra mile for them.

I think, really, you love each person in an individual way - you love everyone differently, therefore there are a billion different types of love.


Hug soundly, laugh loudly, dance wildly, and be damn well determined!
   
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