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Tear Grants Offline
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Sexual frustration with my bf (gay). - July 1st 2010, 03:28 PM

So, I've been dating my bf for almost a year now. After the first month or so, he refused to let me "top" and doesn't do blowjobs. I don't wanna sound like all I want is sex, but when we do have it, I would like to feel something. What happens now is either he tops or I blow him and then we're done. His reasons for not letting me do anything is that "he doesn't like it." He says he feels bad about saying no all the time and I've been trying to be patient about it to see if things would change, but they haven't, so I finally just suggested that if he doesn't want to, I could just do that with someone else not because I don't love him or cuz I want to, but also cuz I wouldn't have to bother him about it. It's not like I'd be doing it with random strangers either. A couple people I've done it with before live by me. I just want him to be happy without me having to pretty much live the rest of my life without having sex, but I don't wanna cheat on him or break up with him over this.
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Re: Sexual frustration with my bf (gay). - July 1st 2010, 03:57 PM

If you where to go with other people that would be cheating.
Maybe their's a reason why he doesn't want to do anything or he's just lazy.
To me if your willing to do all the work & he's not theirs kinvda a problem their.
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Re: Sexual frustration with my bf (gay). - July 1st 2010, 04:18 PM

Yea, his reason is that he doesn't like it. I don't wanna force it on him, but I don't wanna go the rest of my life without ever getting off either.
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Re: Sexual frustration with my bf (gay). - July 1st 2010, 06:10 PM

Hmm that's a tough one... I can definitely see where you are coming from. He's getting all of the pleasure out of sex and not giving in return. Not fair at all. Unfortunately there isn't really much else to do besides tell him how you are feeling :/ I've had a lot of sexual frustrations with mine and I let him know about it lol. I take it he won't even let you penetrate him? I mean... if he doesn't like it then I guess there isn't much you could do. But maybe ask him if he can touch during or something along those lines?

Sorry I couldn't be too much help... Good luck though. You deserve to receive as much as you are giving though...

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Re: Sexual frustration with my bf (gay). - July 1st 2010, 09:57 PM

A relationship is about give and take, it does sound like all you're doing is the giving and not getting anything back out of it. I'm sure your boyfriend does OTHER things you appreciate but sex and being sexual with someone is important. I think when someone does all the giving it does get to the point where you're not getting much enjoyment out of what you're doing.
Maybe just try something slightly different, nothing that your boyfriend doesn't want to do, but just try and switch things up a little bit and maybe that could help your boyfriend to become a little bit more confident, or adventurous.
You know your boyfriend better than any of us would so do something different and maybe he'll return the favour?
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Re: Sexual frustration with my bf (gay). - July 1st 2010, 10:06 PM

Well being with other people IS cheating... but I know how you feel. My boyfriend doesn't like me on top (he said I'm not the greatest at it) and he doesn't like going down on me (but that's only because I don't shave EVERY day). Maybe you should communicate with him more to see if there's something you can do to get him to like it.

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Re: Sexual frustration with my bf (gay). - July 1st 2010, 10:18 PM

Well it sounds like a tough situation.
I understand how you don't want to bother him about it, but honestly if I were him and you told me you could do it with other people I would probably be upset about it.
Its a good thing though that you don't want to bother him about it, and that your thinking about what he wants.
Maybe just try talking about it with him more.
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Re: Sexual frustration with my bf (gay). - July 2nd 2010, 01:46 AM

Sex isn't everything in a relationship... but if you feel like you're not compatible, and that it's hurting your relationship, then I think you need to either convince him to reconsider his stance and be more open to pleasuring you, or you need to give up and find someone else. I mean, why WOULDN'T he want to make you feel as good as you make him feel when you give him a blowjob? Sounds like he's being rather selfish, and I don't think anything he could say would justify his actions.

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Re: Sexual frustration with my bf (gay). - July 2nd 2010, 06:16 AM

Just some notes on the past couple posts:

--Paige--He hates anything abnormal. If you don't learn about it in Health class, he won't do it.

--Amber--I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't wanna make things awkward between us.

--Chelsea--I didn't ACTUALLY come out and say it like that. I kinda brought it up in a joking way to see how he'd react. It's not something I wanna do, but it crosses my mind when I'm in a mood.

--PSY--I don't think sex is everything, but it is something when you're a 19-year-old college male with a hormone disorder. Plus, we're compatible in absolutely every other way, EXCEPT when it comes to this. I'm not saying it's ruining the entire relationship. It's more like I feel like he doesn't care about the way I feel about it, and yes, he is very spoiled, albeit it's mostly because of me. I try to give him everything he wants cuz that's just how I am towards everyone, i hate being an inconvenience and I like making everyone else happy regardless of my feelings, but I just expect SOMETHING from my boyfriend in that department.
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