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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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im short , girls dont like short guys - September 9th 2010, 11:42 PM

im really short (5 foot 5) , and im a male. i am nearly done growing. i also have social anxiety and possibly aspergers(and very few people with aspergers find romance) but im not sure about the aspergers. however shortness sucks espescially for a guy.

i have read online forums such as yahoo answers ,etc. (yes numerous online forums are valid surveys of what girls want) . and when a short guy asks if girls like short guys, they all say essentially the same thing (not all girls are the same, however around 99 percent of them probably have similar sexual partner interests ) . they all say the guy has to be a few inches taller than them in heels , the guy must be over the magical height of 6 feet or at least 5 foot 10,etc. the girls who claim to not mind shortness say they will date down to 5 foot 8 but no shorter than that. what is also frustrating is that all the really short girls claimed to want a really tall guy to "balance out her shortness".


girls will also claim in these forums (the forums are a much better survey than what girls say in real life since the forums are more anonymous) that they want a tall guy because they think a tall guy is masculine or can take care of her ( i thought we were past that day when guys had to take care of girls like a baby, what happened to feminism?) , this is insulting since it implies im not masculine and i cant take care of her.

girls will also write they want a taller guy so they can wear heels (evidently , wearing heels is FAR more important than finding love) .

high heels lower the number of girls i can be taller than. asian girls are often shorter than me, however unfortunatly the ones at my school wear heals all day that are like 5 inches off the ground .

also i know a lot of people want to say "its the personality that matters". that doesnt work in real life ever, i tried to show girls my personality and get to know them before i show interest in them , but that just makes me in the friend zone. the initial attraction is sparked by looks not attraction.and since im highly introverted (and i cant change that without changing my personality) i dont exactly have a "hot" personality.

im not saying that only women judge based on a specific physical characteristic.men do the same thing with weight on women . however at least it is physically possible to lose weight, yet unfortunatly it is impossible to gain height past puberty.

i could wear elevator shoes with a hidden "lift" which increases my apparant height , however i think that it would eventually be found out and id be laughed at. the girl would probably wonder why i dropped 4 inches when i took off my shoes.

its so unfair how society encourages girls to wear 5 inch high heels , yet if a guy where higher shoes (other than cowboy boots) to increase his height , it is unacceptable and uncool; even if he was wearing them to compensate for the fact that high heels for girls has placed short men at a significant disadvantage.

dont say "u will find the right one " or "there is someone for everyone" because these two statements are not true (in fact if i really have aspergers, id be unlikely to find someone just because of that).

im a senior in highschool, i have not really had a girlfriend, in fact i havent even really had friends i can hang out with, so obviously my social issues are great. and no girl has expressed any interest.
   
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Re: im short , girls dont like short guys - September 10th 2010, 06:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by amateur_shaman View Post
im really short (5 foot 5) , and im a male. i am nearly done growing. i also have social anxiety and possibly aspergers(and very few people with aspergers find romance) but im not sure about the aspergers. however shortness sucks espescially for a guy.
I have social anxiety too, and also recently diagnosed with PDD-NOS. So, I think we're in similar boats. Oh, and I'm a whopping 5'6.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amateur_shaman View Post
i have read online forums such as yahoo answers ,etc. (yes numerous online forums are valid surveys of what girls want) . and when a short guy asks if girls like short guys, they all say essentially the same thing (not all girls are the same, however around 99 percent of them probably have similar sexual partner interests ) . they all say the guy has to be a few inches taller than them in heels , the guy must be over the magical height of 6 feet or at least 5 foot 10,etc. the girls who claim to not mind shortness say they will date down to 5 foot 8 but no shorter than that. what is also frustrating is that all the really short girls claimed to want a really tall guy to "balance out her shortness".
Having physical preferences doesn't limit their pool. Girls will still go for guys that don't completely fit if they really like the guy.

I was talking to my dad the other day about women. We were talking about what the "perfect" woman would look like. His preference included tall, skinny, blonde hair, blue eyes, "big"....But who did he end up happily married with for the past 25 years? A short, fit (not skinny though), brunette, brown eyes, not so "big". Why would he consider marrying her if she apparently wasn't his physical preference? Think about it.

Point is: I think girls can be the same way. We all have our "dream" preferences but realistically we know wen can't have it perfect all the time. I think girls (most,anyway) understand that us men can't all be Calvin Klein models.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amateur_shaman View Post
girls will also claim in these forums (the forums are a much better survey than what girls say in real life since the forums are more anonymous) that they want a tall guy because they think a tall guy is masculine or can take care of her ( i thought we were past that day when guys had to take care of girls like a baby, what happened to feminism?) , this is insulting since it implies im not masculine and i cant take care of her.
I don't think it's all about tallness. I', going to go ahead and boldy say that toughness matters more. I hardly think a tall lanky guy will seem more masculine than a shorter guy who boxes and has muscles.

Yes, I'm short, but I also consider myself to be stronger than the average male. If you want more confidence, then work out a bit. Lift some weights and put on a little muscle. Trust me, you'll look more masculine than most if you do this.

You'll also look taller than you really are. I remember I sat in the front row in my HS graduation (shorter people sat in the front). A bunch of people in my grade said "wow, I never realized you were that short." I was stronger then, and people feared to start crap and didn't even take my height into equation....Trust me, I know this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amateur_shaman View Post
girls will also write they want a taller guy so they can wear heels (evidently , wearing heels is FAR more important than finding love) .

high heels lower the number of girls i can be taller than. asian girls are often shorter than me, however unfortunatly the ones at my school wear heals all day that are like 5 inches off the ground .
I think you're thinking this through too much, especially considering you're really only reading about a handful of replies that you may have seen out there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amateur_shaman View Post
also i know a lot of people want to say "its the personality that matters". that doesnt work in real life ever, i tried to show girls my personality and get to know them before i show interest in them , but that just makes me in the friend zone. the initial attraction is sparked by looks not attraction.and since im highly introverted (and i cant change that without changing my personality) i dont exactly have a "hot" personality.
You see...With people like us, it's much harder to show our personality. Our social anxiety (and possibly, our mild autisms) doesn't allow it to shine even when we want it to. Normal guys have an easier time with this than people like us....And you know what....It sucks. It's not fair that we have to work 3x harder to get the results they do. But life isn't fair. We have to live with it and deal with what we got.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amateur_shaman View Post
im not saying that only women judge based on a specific physical characteristic.men do the same thing with weight on women . however at least it is physically possible to lose weight, yet unfortunatly it is impossible to gain height past puberty.

dont say "u will find the right one " or "there is someone for everyone" because these two statements are not true (in fact if i really have aspergers, id be unlikely to find someone just because of that).

im a senior in highschool, i have not really had a girlfriend, in fact i havent even really had friends i can hang out with, so obviously my social issues are great. and no girl has expressed any interest.
I'm gonna skip your parts about the higher shoes, because I think that's for another discussion.

But to reply with the rest....It's not all about height. It's about confidence, body language, and basically just how you present yourself. Walk tall, head up, and already you'll look taller than you actually are.

I'm a senior in college and haven't had any girlfriends either. Nor have I ever had any interested in me (if anything, they're mostly avoidant). It's very unfortunate that girls take little to no interest in guys like us, but it is what it is. But we have to keep trying. It's going to be a long hard road ahead of us, but we have to push.

There might be someone for us in the future. There might not. Either way, we still have to live our lives the best we can. Live for the moment and try not to worry about the future. Do what's best for you right now and it can only help you in the future.

I hope this post helped. PM me if you need anything.
   
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Re: im short , girls dont like short guys - September 10th 2010, 07:46 AM

Personality, dude. Personality. Girls tend to put more emphasis on how the guy makes them feel than how he looks. They don't look at us in the same way we look at them.
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Re: im short , girls dont like short guys - September 10th 2010, 08:17 AM

Looks don't matter, same goes with height.

You are just limiting beliefs.

Get over your social anxiety. Mine used to be so bad that I couldn't even talk to my parents.

I honestly got over it in a month by doing simple exercises.
   
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Re: im short , girls dont like short guys - September 10th 2010, 09:49 AM

Well my bf is about 5ft 3 and he also has asperger's syndrome, I wouldn't change him for the world. You just have to wait and be patient, you'll find someone.





   
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Re: im short , girls dont like short guys - September 10th 2010, 09:57 AM

I wouldn't exactly wait. That's what I did and nothing happened.

Take control of the situation and make change
   
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Re: im short , girls dont like short guys - September 10th 2010, 10:56 AM

I've been with a couple of shorter guys who have brilliant personalities ~ I'm not saying that looks don't matter at all, but generally personality will come first, then looks, then height.
Also, even though you might have read that they do, short girls don't actually go for tall guys that often ~ this sounds silly, but it's true: they're harder to kiss when there's a height difference. I hardly know any short girls that will prefer to go for taller guy. My boyfriend is not exactly short but he's not the tallest, and I prefer it that way (I'm five foot.)
Also, girls don't actually prioritise wearing heels THAT much in life, it probably just seems like that because if you've read up on this you'll know that wearing heels and being taller than your boyfriend can be a bit of an issue, but honestly it's not that huge a deal. I'm petite and I'm still little when I wear heels anyway, so it's never really crossed my mind.
I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but hang in there. Seriously. Seventeen isn't that old an age to not have had a girlfriend ~ I know plenty of people in similar situations. Someone will come along that suits you perfectly and won't even look twice at your issues with your height and will appreciate you for who you are, and you'll be glad you stuck it out.


Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive anyway.

Reach for the stars so if you fall you land on a cloud ~ Kanye West

Mistakes are minimized by experience and experience is maximised by mistakes.

   
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