totally in love with an older man..

[SufferingAlone]

i met this man about a month ago.. ever since then we have been getting on sooooo well!! he told me he wants to be with me, and i want to be with him aswell. he calls me beautiful and says he loves my personality and the way i am. everything's literally perfect.

apart from the fact he's 37 and im 19.

he has a 12 year old daughter. i just dont know what to do. im head over heels for him. he gives me butterflies whenever i speak to him.

please help.. is it wrong to feel like this.

i would also like to add that most of my friends are older than me. i get on alot better with older people as im very mature and have a strong head on my shoulders.

any advice would be great

thankyouuu

xxx

[taylalatbh.]

It's not wrong. But personally, I would advise not to persue this relationship any further. I appreciate the fact that you are more mature for your age, but a 37 year old would have a completely different maturity level to you, and a whole lot more life experience to you.

I think it's wrong for you to involve yourself with him, especially since he has a 12 year old child. It's not much younger than you, and it just seems so strange. But this is just my opinion.

In the end you can do whatever you'd like to do. But there is my opinion and advise, do with it what you see fit.

I hope things go okay in the end, take care.

[PSY]

I have to agree with Tayla. Legally, there's nothing wrong with you dating him. I do think it would be a mistake to date someone who has a daughter that is only seven years younger than you are, though. Unfortunately, when you date someone who has a child, you are not entering into a relationship with another person... you are entering into a relationship with TWO people. Even if the daughter isn't always around, even if you try to keep it a secret from her, even if you don't move in with him or ever marry him... she is going to know that her father is dating someone who is closer to her age than to his age. The daughter doesn't need that psychological distress in her life.

[Maloo]

I think it's kind of weird. That guy should seem like a father figure to you of sorts, if he's acting his age. I don't see any normal situation where a 37 year old should come off as dating material to a 19 year old.

[thebigmole]

I had a friend in pretty much the exact same situation. She was 19 I think he was 38 and I believe his daughter was 14 or 15. She was living with him, but it ended very badly. And they had been dating for a bit over a year. I not saying that automatically means that your relationship would end badly, but I think the biggest issue would be the effect it would have on his daughter. I know I would be pissed if my dad started dating a girl only 7 years older than me.

[MacGuffin]

I've dated a 37 year old. She had two teenage children, one who was only two and half years younger than I was. Normally I would never date someone so much older, but we just clicked in a way I don't click with many people. The usual worries of having enough in common and maturity just were not a problem in that case.

I do, however, still advise caution in dating people much older. Children make things much more complicated, and they did make things more complicated in my situation. Whenever she had problems with her kids, it would cause her a lot of stress, and I had to deal with it. Thankfully I wasn't expected to parent them, but a twelve year old is still young enough that you might be having to do some baby sitting. You have to resolve the fact that she is only a few years younger than you for yourself.

It CAN work, but not most of time, is my general take on it. Go slow to be sure.

[lexi212]

I see no problem, other than the daughter. You two are pretty close in age, so if you and this man do continue to see each other, what about her? I'm not saying you shouldn't see him, just keep her in mind. I know from personal experience it can get awkward.

[Angels]

Well hello! Finally someone i can relate to! Lol I am 17 and in love with a 30 year old who has a 6 year old daughter.

He and I have been together for 8 months (secretly)

To answer your question (I think you know what response in gonna be)... I don't think its wrong.. If it is what you both want than thats that..

I do find it a little unnerving that you and the daughter are SO close in age.. My boyfriends daughter and I are atleast 12 years apart.. I have a significant maturity level over her.. Not saying that you are not mature cause Im sure you are.. I am much more mature than my age due to many of the things ive had to deal with and have to deal with in life.. So i understand but you too are close in age and that could cause problems..

You should NOT stop your relationship or stop being interested just because hes older or has a daughter.. If you two get to the point where yall get serious and you want to explain to the daughter she could react in many ways.. But that is still not a reason to stop pursueing him.. If you guys end up together shell understand when shes ready that daddy was in love..

A suggestion though.. you probably know this though.. You are not her mom.. she probably has a mother and she doesnt need another.. if you are going to be in her life now.. i suggest just being that older friend she could look up to and talk to and almost be a mentor or sister you know?

If you want to talk about anything or have any questions please feel free to PM me anytime.. seriously.. anytime ill get back to you asap

Good luck hope it works out for you =)

[Volleyball27]

well im not great at giving advice but i kinda know where your coming from im 16 and pretty much in love with someone thats 22. But my opinion is that its not wrong and if hes not pushy or trying to get you to do things then to continue and see what happens. but to just not get your hopes up right away. In my situation we hung out many times and stuff happened but now after becoming more attached with him we are no longer talking. Well im not saying it will end that way but yeah just keep that in mind and to not let him take advangage of you. And i hope things work out for you(:

[MisplacedDreamer]

Also, I do not know you personally or even online and can only judge by what I read. One thing that I have noticed as a stereotypical issue is that when someone claims to be more mature, they rarely are. It's just a trend that I see.

Are you two on the same level on many life experiences such as economically? Do you have a job where you can save money and prepare for later down the road? Or are you still in college?

Do you guys want similar things out of life? Do you want to start a family? Would he want to start a family when he already has a child?

If my mom came home with someone within ten years of me, I would not like it. I would dislike it even more as a teenager and probably would have been vocal about it.

Unless you are living like you are in your thirties or he is living like he is in his twenties, I don't see it working out.