Trouble...

[Lost_Confused]

This is going to be long, so be prepared.

So... I met this guy in my welding class, (let's call him George) he wasn't the brightest bulb on the block, but he was funny, gentle, kind, and VERY attractive. (helps, right?) Well he told me he liked me about a monthish later after we traded phone numbers, and i was interested in him too so i told him i liked him as well. But i didn't want a relationship right then because i hadn't had a relationship before so i was kinda weary.

Well, it was kinda like we were dating. We would stay up late, i'd text him when i was supposed to be asleep, share secrets, we'd whisper and giggle to each other in class, you know.

Between the giggles, the late nights, and the closeness, somewhere in there i fell in love. Now, i don't say "I love you" loosely. Well, i guess i do, i tell my bestfriends that, and my mom, and i really don't like her, i just tell her that otherwise she'll be all like "YOU DON'T LOVE ME BLAHBLAHBLAH."

Anyways, going on.
At the end of last month sometime, he stopped texting me. Just out of the blue. I tried texting him a couple times, and he'd text back after a while, but then he's stop again, and we wouldn't talk again until weeks later when he finally decided to text me. I found out a couple days after he stopped talking to me, that he found himself a girlfriend. He STILL hasn't told me he has a girlfriend, and he's been trying to talk to me this past week for a couple days.

And apparently he's dropped out of school, quit his job, and is smoking drugs all the time now. But he's still so attractive(to me anyways.) and he was so kind, and he's the man i fell in love with, so i know those are important, but i don't think it really effects him. I know it does, i just .... i don't know.

You know, it's pretty hard to get over someone you love, when they start talking to you just when you're trying to get over them.
Any ideas how i can stop loving him? I know you can never FULLY stop loving someone, but i'd like to dim it down enough that i don't have to pay attention quite so much.

And the fact that i love him and can't have him makes me so depressed that i've been cutting more. I started cutting a while ago, but now that i realize i love him i've been cutting more. And i have like no sense of morals anymore, i'm always flirting with someone at my school. Though i don't sleep with them, or even date any of them. Then they supposedly like me, and tell me so, but then i don't like them, so i coldly turn them down. But then i flirt with them later, making them more confused and it makes me feel a little better because i just screw with their feelings.

Guess i think of them as George, like i'm breaking his heart like he did mine.
But i still love him, i don't know how to stop it....


Sorry it's so long. :/

[Lost_Confused]

I'm sorry if this is confusing, but is there anything i can do to help me take my mind off him?

[Tsaoman]

Haha first off, i want to thank you for making me laugh with your ""YOU DON'T LOVE ME BLAHBLAHBLAH." Anyway, my best advice would be to try to find someone else :/ I know it's easier said than done. But would you really want to date him again after he kinda "ditched" you like that? Hope this helps :P

[Lost_Confused]

Haha no problem, anytime.
Well.. I wouldn't because i know how he really is, but i would because i want to be with him.
I kinda am trying to find someone else, but there's no one that i think is worth it. I'm very picky. :P

[Madeleine.Claire]

Before you find someone else you should try to deal with your feelings for "george" and realize how much was wrong with what happened. It sucks that he left you..I'm sorry. But all of that kind of proves that he doesn't deserve you.

[Lost_Confused]

I know...
It just hurts. And then when i start to deal with it a little better than usual, he texts me or something. Then i fall right back to where i was before.

[Lost_Confused]

Well, i'm making good progress on not liking him...
Now when i see his picture or hear our song i don't cry.

And there's this guy (who's in my welding class, go figure.) who apparently really likes me. He said he can wait until i get over "George" (reminds me of "George".. He said he was going to wait until i was ready. Yeah, right..) but then when he heard what happened between me and "George" he said that that was terrible, and he's sorry that not all guys realize that girls are people too and that they have feelings. And that i deserve to be treated right. He sure knows the right things to say...

I guess it's about time i open myself more, i always am sooooo cautious about guys, it's basically paranoia. I might give him a try...
He'd be my first boyfriend, wow.