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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Ox In A Box Offline
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Does it sound like he's losing interest? - January 30th 2011, 04:36 PM

So I have been known to overreact and jump to conclusions prematurely when it comes to guys' interest levels in a relationship, but I really feel it this time, I think. We've been dating 3 months now and things have been going very well. But I don't know; I feel like I've been a boring person recently. I can't really explain it but I feel like I appear lifeless to him. He hasn't treated me or reacted differently to me from what I can tell, but I still feel like I've been boring.

We usually hang out twice a week: once on the weekend and once sometime in the middle of the week because our schedules are pretty busy. However, this week that won't be happening because he will be out of town for school reasons Wed-Fri and then it's one of his good friend's bday Fri night. When he told me that yesterday, I said that I'll just have to wait and see him next weekend. Then he replied, "Yeah, hopefully."

Wtf? So my reasoning as to why he is losing interest is
My boring self recently + his less-than-affirmative answer = loss of interest

What do you think? Does this sound suspicious? Or does it sound like I'm overreacting?
   
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Re: Does it sound like he's losing interest? - January 30th 2011, 05:38 PM

To me, it does sound like you may be overreacting a bit.

You said it yourself, you have busy schedules, he's going to be out of town for a school function and it's his friend's birthday. None of these have to do with you.

I wouldn't necessary worry about feeling "boring." It happens to all of us. You're likely in the stage in your relationship where things are becoming more comfortable. The first few months are exciting because you're still getting to know what it's like to be in a relationship with them. Though if you're still concerned, talk to him about it. Ask him if he'd like to do anything to spice it up a little bit if you feel your relationship is becoming mundane. Go out on dates rather just hanging out. Do something out of the usual.

Obviously I don't know what tone he used, but "Yeah, hopefully." doesn't sound suspicious at all to me. He may have been sincere. As you said, you're both busy, and he hopes that YES he will be able to see you next weekend.

Relax, sister. You'll be okay.
   
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Re: Does it sound like he's losing interest? - January 30th 2011, 05:46 PM

This may come across as a strange question, but is it possible you've been bored by the relationship lately? Sometimes when we start worrying about being boring ourselves or start worrying that things have become stagnant or that they're losing interest, it's a clue in to what we ourselves are feeling about the relationship.

Honestly, his response, to me, sounds like the response of a typical guy. And I wouldn't overthink it. But if you're honestly worried about the relationship being boring, then I suggest doing something spontaneous and exciting for your next date. Do something unexpected or different. Spice things up a bit.
   
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Re: Does it sound like he's losing interest? - January 30th 2011, 06:08 PM

I'm not bored at all with the relationship. Although we only hang out a couple of times a week, each time we make a point to do some sort of activity such as cook dinner, watch a movie, play a sport, go to a museum, etc. I guess what I'm worried about is that I feel like a boring person compared to him. He's a very enthusiastic extroverted person and sometimes I feel like he's the one doing most of the talking. Like the last time we hung out, I asked him for his opinion on what kind of pet to buy. He looooooooves exotic animals so he talked for almost 2 hours about his opinions on what would make a good pet, showed me pictures of these animals online, talked about all this stuff he's read about them, etc. I chimed in some, but not nearly as much as he did. I think his enthusiasm is adorable but I can't compete with his talkativeness and I appear mute compared to him. I'm really worried that it will be the downfall of the relationship.

For the record, I've had this fear since date #1 since he did most of the talking when we first went out. I've always felt like the less interesting person compared to him.
   
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Re: Does it sound like he's losing interest? - January 31st 2011, 02:05 AM

It doesn't sound like he is losing interest or getting bored of you. I think this is all in your head. You don't sound boring to me. Everyone has their own unique personalities and so do you whether you see it or not. He wouldn't be dating you otherwise unless he liked something about you personally and your relationship and attitude.
Don't worry about it, you're overreacting. I'm sure he's attracted to you still.
   
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Re: Does it sound like he's losing interest? - January 31st 2011, 03:02 AM

I agree with the above.

I didn't realise that you made it a point to do something so different so often. That's a good thing! If it really is the fact he's so talkative and you tend to be more quiet that's got you so insecure, then have you ever looked into some board games or card games that encourage conversation and get one going? It sounds silly, but it can be a fun way to get you talking as much as he chats to you. That being said, I really think there's nothing to be worried about, given your latest post.
   
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