Non-PG13 (Strong Language): He's had many failed long-term relationships...

[Algernon]

How do I deal with this? I know that he is in his thirties and that's what I get for dating older men. I have to accept it but there are some things that concern me. He's told me he's been in quite a few relationships that have lasted years.. and then they just failed. He ended them or the woman did.

When talks about it It makes me think "then what the fuck am I doing with you?" It makes me question why all these relationships end. He hasn't even told me he's in love with me yet and It's been about four months. He's had sex with several several women... And I just feel shot down completely. I have no confidence and now I feel like I'm competing. I feel hopeless.

I just don't feel special and this is really tearing me up. What do I do? How do I deal?

[PSY]

Some people don't make the transition from long-term relationship to marriage because there's something wrong with them (or the way in which they pick partners). Other people simply have other obligations or life events that prevent them from sealing the deal. I'm not sure what his story is, and I'm not sure you'll ever be able to get the full story, even if he's in love with you and has been with you for several years. Not everyone is open about their previous relationships and why they failed... it can be a very sensitive topic!

To be honest, I'm not really sure what I would do in your situation. It seems like this guy has disappointed you time and time again over the past four months. In your previous threads, you said you liked him... yet you still don't feel secure and are holding back. I take it this isn't how you behaved in your previous relationship - so that makes me think there's something "wrong" with this guy, not necessarily with you. And if he's the one with the problem, then all you can do is hope he'll start "letting you in" emotionally. If he can't meet your needs, then leave him.

[Algernon]

Things are getting better and better with him, but It's a matter of time you know? I don't like how I'm always one step ahead of him with my emotions and feelings. I never tell him how I feel because I don't want to pressure him. It's not what he's doing but It's what he's NOT doing that's causing me stress.

[Aletheia*]

I'm not exactly sure what I'd do in your situation either, as Robin said as well, but there might be a reason behind why he hasn't said he's loved you.
It's possible that he's had so many failed relationships in the past that he doesn't want to rush into things with you. It shouldn't discourage you of course. This should come as a good sign that he doesn't want the same thing to happen between the two of you.
If you are really having a trouble with it, get him to tell you why his past relationships have failed. Maybe, then he was afraid of committing long term. Maybe these woman were asking for marriage, and he just wasn't ready for that kind of thing yet.