We Talked =)

Algernon · **We Talked =) -** March 12th 2011, 06:17 PM

So I had a really big talk with my boyfriend. I told him all the concerns and such that I had. He took it really well and his final response during the conversation is that he was going to try and be a better boyfriend. I wasn't happy about telling him I loved him but I think he needed to hear that I cared about him that much. I know he Isn't in love with me yet, but he told me there are times where he looks and me and feels it starting. That's good enough for me.

One thing I really enjoy is that we have excellent communication and we never fight. I told him we're going to be having a lot of conversations because It's better to talk a lot then let it all build up like I have in in previous relationships. How often do you guys think is too often to talk?

And hey, thank you everyone for all the support you've been showing me. This relationship is a big deal to me and some of the advice you've given me I've actually applied.

Silhouette · **Re: We Talked =) -** March 12th 2011, 07:43 PM

I don't think there is a number for too many talks. Communication is really good in a relationship and it is what keeps them strong. I know lots of couples who broke up due to miscommunication and they all wish they had talked more.
Sometimes you do need to just relax and enjoy each others company rather than worry about what will happen. Try not to stress too much about your relationship.
I'm glad to hear that he took it well

Good luck!

PlayingPretend · **Re: We Talked =) -** March 12th 2011, 09:03 PM

I don't think there's such a thing as too much communication, but there is such a thing as perseveration.

For example, take what you mentioned here that you discussed. You say you've had a big conversation, that things have been resolved, etc. So leave it. It's been resolved, there's no need to bring it up again. If in the future you stumble across a different problem, and that's inevitable, then yes, bring it up, but when it's something that's already been communicated and worked out, it should be off the table.

I've noticed that when a lot of women feel insecure about something, and this applies to some men, also, they tend to bring it up and bring it up consistently. They have a conversation, come to a conclusion and/or solution, and things are great, but when the happy, fuzzy feeling wears off and the insecurities come into play again, then it creates the want to have another of those conversations in order to gain the reassurance from them. What I mean by this is that you've talked about it, it's been resolved, so I don't think that you need to continuously bring it up and continuously hash out your feelings for each other... This gets exhausting for both parties and ends up causing more trouble and drama than it's worth.

So I don't believe there's ever such a thing as too much communication, but if the communication lines are open and there, and your relationship is confident and secure, then you shouldn't even come close to maxing out that communication. In other words, in a confident, secure relationship, communication lines will remain open without the constant need to sit down and talk about the same thing over and over again.

Algernon · **Re: We Talked =) -** March 12th 2011, 09:34 PM

That was the exact answer I was looking for Elliotte. I'm going to take every word you said. I think I've done it a few times to get reassurance and I didn't realize that's what I was doing. I'm going to try and just accept how things are.

PSY · **Re: We Talked =) -** March 12th 2011, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PlayingPretend

I don't think there's such a thing as too much communication, but there is such a thing as perseveration.

For example, take what you mentioned here that you discussed. You say you've had a big conversation, that things have been resolved, etc. So leave it. It's been resolved, there's no need to bring it up again. If in the future you stumble across a different problem, and that's inevitable, then yes, bring it up, but when it's something that's already been communicated and worked out, it should be off the table.

I've noticed that when a lot of women feel insecure about something, and this applies to some men, also, they tend to bring it up and bring it up consistently. They have a conversation, come to a conclusion and/or solution, and things are great, but when the happy, fuzzy feeling wears off and the insecurities come into play again, then it creates the want to have another of those conversations in order to gain the reassurance from them. What I mean by this is that you've talked about it, it's been resolved, so I don't think that you need to continuously bring it up and continuously hash out your feelings for each other... This gets exhausting for both parties and ends up causing more trouble and drama than it's worth.

So I don't believe there's ever such a thing as too much communication, but if the communication lines are open and there, and your relationship is confident and secure, then you shouldn't even come close to maxing out that communication. In other words, in a confident, secure relationship, communication lines will remain open without the constant need to sit down and talk about the same thing over and over again.

Yes, yes, and YES!