is my boyfriend cheating on me?

[justlikeme0]

me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 months. he told me that a while ago, he used to go out with multiple girls at one time but he decided to settle down and then he found me. hes a really great boyfriend and i love him alot. i honestly didnt think he was cheating on me at all until recently.
theres this girl he texts on his phone who lives in a different city. she never used to text him before but recently ive noticed her texting him when im around alot. normally when we are sitting on the couch and he is texting someone, he will let me look over his shoulder if i want. but with her he sometimes turn so i cant see (but sometimes i catch a glimpse...) and i saw her call him "baby"
thats when i got concerned. i asked him about it and he said that she just likes to call him baby but he promised he wasnt cheating on me. i really want to believe him but ive been hurt so many times because people cheated on me. i dont want to end up getting hurt.
do you think im just paranoid or do i have a reason to be upset? is there anyway i could figure out if he is hiding something?
thanks =)

[Aletheia*]

By the sounds of it, I'd say there is definatley something fishy here. You need to talk to him about it and check for signs that he's cheating. One red flag is that he doesn't let you read over his shoulder like he normally does when this girl is texting him. Girls normally don't call someone 'baby' just because. That is also another red flag. I would suggest not going through his phone to see if he's cheating. I would just talk to him about it. Trust is a huge thing in a relationship, and you don't want to break his either by going through his phone.

[Allons-y!]

Talk to him. Be rational; you have every reason to suspect something foul's afoot. Just lay it out and tell him that you don't want to think he's cheating, but you have to ask. If he gets angry (or basically, if he does anything except offer a rational explanation), break up with him. I know you're probably pretty crazy about him right now, but you deserve better. And even if he's not cheating on you, you don't want to be in a situation where you're constantly suspicious, and guilty that you're suspicious. It's a vicious cycle.

Good luck!

[Bertiebotsjellytots]

Originally Posted by shannonashley

One red flag is that he doesn't let you read over his shoulder like he normally does when this girl is texting him.

I would say that this isn't necessarily true because I was never unfaithful to my ex yet I sometimes wouldn't let her read my texts as I may have made jokes to my friends she wouldn't find funny or take the wrong way.

As for pet names, I know girls who say things like my love and babe yet mean nothing, its just a general term we use. I would say try not to overthink these things as you'll just burden yourself with more worries.

But I agree, talk to him about it but don't forget the relationship needs trust or it may cause problems and hopefully when you ask him you'll get the answers you want.

If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me

[Nicole!]

Hey there,

Communication is key. The best thing to do is to talk to him and let him know about your concerns. Relationships cannot be built without trust. You do have a good reason to be suspicious.
Does he know that you have been cheated on in the past? He should understand your concerns if he does. Being cheated on is tough and very hard to move on from.
Reading his texts can be a bit of an invasion of privacy which is probably what he is feeling. But remember that he is with you, not her. He is choosing to be official with you. Hopefully that will make you feel a little bit better.

Best of luck <3