How can I let go?

[mar_wolf94]

I met this guy and he is really amazing. I've learned so much about him. He has a lot of problems and I find it so easy to accept them and still feel so strong for him. I have never felt this strong for another person, ever. He has helped me through so many situations because lately I have lost a lot of people in my life and have had no one to turn to. Even my best friend that has helped me through the biggest problems has left me for dead. She completely ignores me now because of this guy.

I know that people say this a lot but I mean it when I say that I think about him all day, every day. Ever since the first day that I started talking to him, i haven't spent a single day without thinking about him. It's killing me. He has anger issues, abusive parents, a 2 yr old daughter (he's 16), and he goes to a counselor. I care about him so much. Sometimes when we're talking I accidentally upset him and when he gets upset i literally start to cry. I never want to hurt him like the other people in his life.

The problem is: He is dating my best friend. I absolutely love him, but he really likes her. And I don't want to hurt either of them! What can I do? How can I forget about him? I don't want to lose him, he is the only person that is ever there for me anymore... I need him, he helped me start eating again and stop cutting. I don't know what I could do without him. It's killing me.

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by mar_wolf94

I met this guy and he is really amazing. I've learned so much about him. He has a lot of problems and I find it so easy to accept them and still feel so strong for him. I have never felt this strong for another person, ever. He has helped me through so many situations because lately I have lost a lot of people in my life and have had no one to turn to. Even my best friend that has helped me through the biggest problems has left me for dead. She completely ignores me now because of this guy.

I know that people say this a lot but I mean it when I say that I think about him all day, every day. Ever since the first day that I started talking to him, i haven't spent a single day without thinking about him. It's killing me. He has anger issues, abusive parents, a 2 yr old daughter (he's 16), and he goes to a counselor. I care about him so much. Sometimes when we're talking I accidentally upset him and when he gets upset i literally start to cry. I never want to hurt him like the other people in his life.

The problem is: He is dating my best friend. I absolutely love him, but he really likes her. And I don't want to hurt either of them! What can I do? How can I forget about him? I don't want to lose him, he is the only person that is ever there for me anymore... I need him, he helped me start eating again and stop cutting. I don't know what I could do without him. It's killing me.

Why are your friends not talking to you anymore over a guy that your not even dating? Have you been putting your friends on the back burner while you continuously hang out with this guy? Then, yes, I say they have a fair reason for not speaking to you anymore. Truth is, you don't need him. Your concious just thinks you do. You need to cut all contact with him immediately if you want to let it go. This is the best way to do so. I'm sorry for being blunt, but this is the way I sometimes give my advice.

[PSY]

Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

I don't think you need to cease all contact with him (especially when you make it sound like there would be no one else in your life, were it not for him)... but I do think you need to recognize how dependent you are upon him for happiness. You should never rely solely on one person for happiness; rather, it should be the combination of relationships in your life (family, friends, significant others, etc.) that give you a sense of happiness. It's important to have that balance, because no matter how fulfilling your friendship is with him at the moment, there will come a time when it won't be enough... and when that times comes, it's crucial that you have other people to fall back on.

I don't know what caused your family members and friends to turn away from you... but if you can't seem to repair your connections with them, then it's time to branch out and find new people! If there is a way to reconcile with family members and friends, then by all means, try to do so (unless it would require you to put yourself or someone else in harm's way). You'll find that, as you have more and more people to love (and love you in return), you won't feel that you NEED him. He'll be a special person, but your overall happiness won't depend upon him.