Not Sure What To Believe.

[kelsey_marie]

Okay, so i really need help on this. I have a bf, and i love him so much. We've been together for a little over 4 months now, though we dated about a year ago for a few months. He lives relatively far away, so its hard for us to get to see each other but we try our best. A couple days ago, he came over to my house while i had a few friends over. I guess he dropped his phone and one of my friends found it, so she opened his inbox and found messages from some number saying, "hey babe." "babe why arent u responding?" and stuff like that. I know she shouldnt have done that but it wasnt my idea, and none the less i found out. She asked him about it, he denied knowing who the number was, saying he loved me 2 much to ever hurt me. So i ignored it but then the next day, i was on his facebook profile and noticed how this girl was always commenting on his stuff, hitting on him, so i asked if he would mind if i told her to stop. he said no. so i messaged her, asking her to back off of him. She replied tht i was a bitch who was getting cheated on by her bf. she said he'd asked her hundreds of times for pictures and finally gave up cuz she always refused. when i mentioned this to him, he said he had never done that. and proceeded to say he loved me, would never hurt me, ect. I dont know what i should do. i love him so much, and i wanna be with him. But i dotn wanna be played for a fool. And u cant build a relationship without trust. Please help me, i really need some advice.

[Monster.]

Honesty, this sounds like he is definitely doing something shady. The phone thing alone I might have passed because that sounds like it could happen. People get wrong numbers all the time, shit happens. But none the less it sounds sketchy. Combined with this girl on facebook something could be going on. However that could also be explained. She simply could have been defensive and wanted to hurt your feelings because you called her out on hitting on your boyfriend.
If he is consistently telling you nothing is going on and you have no really proof that he is doing anything wrong you should believe him.
Just be cautious, tell him how you feel about how your trust is being strained because of the issues. Make sure that he understands where you are coming from.

[StrigidaeofChrono]

Originally Posted by Monster.

Honesty, this sounds like he is definitely doing something shady. The phone thing alone I might have passed because that sounds like it could happen. People get wrong numbers all the time, shit happens. But none the less it sounds sketchy. Combined with this girl on facebook something could be going on. However that could also be explained. She simply could have been defensive and wanted to hurt your feelings because you called her out on hitting on your boyfriend.
If he is consistently telling you nothing is going on and you have no really proof that he is doing anything wrong you should believe him.
Just be cautious, tell him how you feel about how your trust is being strained because of the issues. Make sure that he understands where you are coming from.

It really does sound strange, good luck. I had a boyfriend who did things like that once. I feet so much better with out having to be constantly unsure of his behavior.

[Noah Zomby]

It could be that she is just really jealous of you because you have something she wishes she had. So when she is confronted with the person she is jealous at, it's no surprise that she would explode and lie like that. It could also be a jealous ex who is trying to get you out of the picture so she can have him again.

Talk about this with him, make him realize that this is affecting you a lot and suggest to him that he should tell the girl to chill the hell out and stop what she's doing. And if he still denies anything and says he loves you, he will never hurt you, etc. then believe him, but tread lightly.

[Aletheia*]

I agree with Noah. Talking to your boyfriend about how it's hurting you, and making you not have any trust in him is the best way to handle the situation. Communication, along with trust, are key points to make a relationship work.

It does sound like something shady is going on here. Combined with the text messages and facebook comments, it sounds like he could be cheating on you, and just denying the fact that anything is going on. I've had a boyfriend deny it to my face on several occasions, until I caught him up in his lies. Your friend was in the wrong for going through his messages, and you should have stopped her from doing so. By not doing so, there was no trust in the relationship to begin with.

If you talk to him, ask him to be completely truth with you. No more lies, no more distrust. By making an open environment, he may come clean about whether he's cheating or whether he isn't.

I hope things work out for you.

[kelsey_marie]

I would like to make it clear, tht i wasnt aware she was going through his phone. She did so, and then came to tlk to me about it. i didnt ask her to, didnt see her doing it, didnt know about it till afterward.

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by kelsey_marie

I would like to make it clear, tht i wasnt aware she was going through his phone. She did so, and then came to tlk to me about it. i didnt ask her to, didnt see her doing it, didnt know about it till afterward.

Gotcha. Alright, that was my mistake. Your friend was completely in the wrong regardless. You should tell her so, as well.