Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Am I a bad person?

[Brandon]

My girlfriend is going to an MCR concert today and originally she was going with some old friends that she's been to MCR concerts with. She loves MCR. I never had interest in going because I don't really like concerts and it was her tradition to go with friends to MCR concerts so I had no incentive to change my schedule around or anything like that to go with her. I was taking a nap earlier and she called me about 5 minutes ago and said that her friends had extra tickets to the concert and my girlfriend wanted me to call in sick for work so I could go with her. Since she called at like 4:30 and I go to work at 7, which is not exactly last minute, I just wasn't feeling about going through all that to go to a concert. We are madly in love with each other and I try to dedicate as much time to her as possible (since I'm the only one with the car), but since I was kind of tired from my exams today and I originally planned on working today, I told her that I didn't feel like going to the concert today and she had this tone of huge disappointment (which is understandable). I kept explaining to her why I didn't feel like going to the concert since this is her favorite band and I know she wants me to be there, but the more I explained and told her no, the more of a fucking asshole I felt. I feel like such a damn asshole now and I don't know if I should feel like an asshole. Should I have called work off and went with her? Should I lie and tell her that I tried calling off work? I told her that I would make it up to her, and now it's got me really depressed because I feel like I hurt her. We're seeing each other on Friday to celebrate her birthday at a restaurant (two days away), but now I feel like a disappointment and she's going to think that I'm an asshole and end up breaking up with me.

Am I a bad person?

[Acheron]

It'll be fine. You didn't even need to promise to make it up to her. There's no way she can expect you to be available 24/7, and you've got nothing to feel bad about. Come Friday she'll be fine.

[Aletheia*]

Your not a bad person, but definitely don't lie to your girlfriend about how you 'tried to call of work, but couldn't get it off'. While that's a good amount of time to try and call off sick, work is extremely important since your the only one with a vehicle, you have to deal with it's upkeep and also, the car insurance that you need to pay.

You've told her before that you have no interest in going to concerts, but you could thank her for thinking of you. I'm sure once you talk face to face about everything, she will fully understand why you didn't feel up to going.

You shouldn't feel like an asshole for saying no. There is no reason too. Sure, she may be disappointed, but she will be with her friends and she will have a good time. She'll understand why you turned her down.

[Angel]

You are not a bad person for turning down an offer to go to a concert. This may be your girlfriend's favourite band, but she cannot possibly expect for you to drop everything you're doing and go to this event with her. You have your responsibilities that you have to tend to such as going to work. She may be disappointed now, but really, it's one concert. Unless you spoke to her harshly I don't see why she would think you're an asshole. That sounds like your guilt talking, more than anything else.

[PSY]

I agree with everyone else. Your girlfriend didn't give you nearly enough advanced notice. Some people can afford to ditch work, while others cannot. I would emphasize that, vs. how you were tired and didn't feel like it. While that may be true, she could misinterpret that to mean, "I don't care about MCR, therefore I don't care enough to come with you." You don't have to make it up to her at all! Just explain (briefly, no huge elaborations needed) that you couldn't ditch work on such short notice, and that you would love to go with her to the next MCR concert if she can give you advanced notice. Then let the subject go and enjoy her birthday dinner. =)

[Sythan]

You turned her down to go to a job that would make money and provide for you both, you shouldn't feel like an asshole. Work is more important than a concert, especially in this day and age when a paying stable job is hard to come by.

[Heartlines.]

No, no, no. Don't lie to her about calling in sick. That will make you feel even worse then you're feeling now. You know? You already feel bad enough for not going, so I don't think that lying will make you feel any better. Also, you're not a bad boyfriend. Partners need their space from each other. I know that it's not even about that. I just know that sometimes it's good for people just to go out with their friends. But I have to agree, she will probably be fine a few days later. You can always make it up to her by taking her some where else. Like to dinner, when you have the day off. Plus, for me, I think calling in sick is wrong if you aren't really sick. It's pretty cut and dry. You don't want to go, and that's that. You can explain that in a nice way. After that, it's up to her if she wants to let it get to her or not.

[sabbs1991]

I agree, just to re-iterate what most everyone else has said, you are not a bad person. Try to explain to your girlfriend exactly what you explained here, that you were tired and didn't want to miss work. She loves you, I'm sure she'll understand.

i wish you the best!

[Smitten]

OP -Wondering how things turned out, since today is her birthday.