What constitutes cheating?

[Boobies]

Well, I'm pretty sure I haven't seen a thread like this for a while, and as opinions constantly change and new people constantly join I thought I'd make a new one.
So, in your opinion what constitutes cheating? for me it would be anything above kissing(including making out and the likes) (so actually giving/receiving pleasure)

[Aletheia*]

Hey Keady!

Well to me cheating would mean anything from having oral sex, to intercourse obviously. I'd be devastated if my boyfriend made out with another girl, so, I would say making out is kind of cheating; but not as bad as what could happen between your significant other and another person. However, a peck on the lips for me isn't considered cheating. I have kissed my friend on the lips before while in a relationship (although, this friend is gay, so not sure if that matters or not).

But, that's my opinion, I suppose.

[PSY]

For me, there isn't one particular action that constitutes as "cheating". It's the intention behind the action. Lately, I've seen people arguing about whether or not a "peck on the lips" counts as "cheating". In my mind, if you had romantic feelings for that person, and you deliberately chose to initiate something with that person (or you didn't resist/allowed them to initiate something), then it's cheating. It doesn't matter if it's a "peck on the lips" or sex - your intention was to make a connection with someone that should only be made with your current partner.

[Troubled_Heart]

for me cheating is anything above and including kissing although i would also count dating (even if nothing physical happens) as cheating if it is behind the others back...

[TigerTank77]

If you have to ask yourself whether or not an action is cheating, it's probably cheating.

[ChaosControl]

Hey Keady,

Physical contact, in any manner, could be interpreted as cheating, but I think it's the intention and the emotion behind it that constitutes cheating. I hold hands with my friends, that's not cheating because I don't do it as a romantic thing. Previous boyfriends have been OK with that because I've explained it to them and they know it doesn't mean anything.

The trouble is it's so easy for people to say "I wasn't cheating, it didn't mean anything", or even if that were the case, it's understandable that the partner might be upset by something that appears to be sexual or emotional infidelity. It's pretty subjective and I think healthy relationships require a certain degree of communication, directly or otherwise, to indicate what each individual is comfortable with their partner doing.

[Maloo]

Anything that my boyfriend would do with me would be cheating if he did it with someone else. That includes kissing, and anything farther past that.

Ass grabbing and stuff like that doesn't count as long as it's a few select people that I know.

[niente_]

A kiss on the lips or more, in my opinion. Hugs and stuff don't really count.

[justlikeme0]

i think this is a really good question.
im not sure if there really can be one set defintion of cheating because every situation and every couple are different. but my basic belief is this:
if you are in a relationship and you feel the need to hide whatever you are doing from your significant other, then its probably cheating.
some people may not agree with me but thats the way i feel. its only cheating if your not honest with the one you love.

[Rican Roll]

I actually found this thread and the posts similar (the ones talking about kissing and whether it is appropriate, in the flirting thread) to be rather interesting. it seems that the popular opinion is that a peck on the lips is innocent and shouldn't be held against a partner.

While I can see their point, I have to disagree. I believe is all comes down to intent and circumstance to determine whether a peck on the lips is a betrayal or an innocent gesture.

A kiss is an extremely dynamic way to express human emotions. Just like a smile can have 100 different meanings and levels of appropriateness, I believe kisses are the same way. The main example used by the ones defending kissing people other than your significant other as appropriate is that a quick kiss to the lips is a friendly gesture and not romantic in any way.

Intent and circumstance determine this though. I can walk up to an old female friend I haven't seen in ages on the street, surprised her and give her a hug and quick peck. This creates the classic innocent kiss scene, but what if we tweak the circumstances a bit and shift my intent to something sexual or romantic?

Now, instead I run into a pretty girl in the park. After a bit of chatting and playful banter under the shade of a tree I lightly cup her chin and give her a slow deliberate soft kiss on the lips.

The time frame for both kisses are the same, over in a heartbeat. However, does anyone else feel the same as me? With just a shift in the circumstance involved and my intent, the entire situation flops from innocent to an obvious betrayal of my partner's trust.

[Maloo]

I don't feel like a kiss on the lips is okay, ever. Unless it's family. Otherwise, that is completely not okay to me.

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by Myss

I don't feel like a kiss on the lips is okay, ever. Unless it's family. Otherwise, that is completely not okay to me.

So is it wrong of me to have kissed my best guy friend, who is gay, on the lips?

[Maloo]

Originally Posted by ShannonPants

So is it wrong of me to have kissed my best guy friend, who is gay, on the lips?

In my personal opinion, yes.

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by Myss

In my personal opinion, yes.

Fair enough! But, my intent behind it is to not turn him straight...or whatever you think my intent would be. It's just me saying hello to a friend, who happens to be gay.

[Maloo]

Originally Posted by ShannonPants

Fair enough! But, my intent behind it is to not turn him straight...or whatever you think my intent would be. It's just me saying hello to a friend, who happens to be gay.

I don't personally look at it as intent. I look at the action itself.

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by Myss

I don't personally look at it as intent. I look at the action itself.

Well, the action behind it was saying hello to a friend.

[Skeleton]

I think anything kissing and above is cheating, regardless of your reason behind it. At the end of the day, if you're in a relationship with someone it's because you want to be with that person and that person only. If you want to be with other people or have "fun" for lack of a better word then you shouldn't get into a relationship

[fullofsecrets]

I think it depends on more of the intent than the actual action. Obviously if you commit a sexual act with a person, that's cheating, but if, for example, you decide to spend time with a guy or girl you are romantically interested in, instead of your partner, then that can be a kind of emotional cheating in a way. Even if all you do is watch TV, have dinner, play games or whatever, if you have feelings for them and secretly want something to happen, then you should really leave the relationship you're in if you're not happy and want something else.

[Rainbow Dash]

To me cheating is doing anything with someone else if you wouldn't do it in front of your partner :/

[DivingCheska]

To me cheating is when you do anything sexual with someone else that you are not dating... so like kissing, sexual touching. But just going out and dancing I don't consider that cheating unless it is dirty dancing and your partner doesn't know about it then I would consider it cheating.

[MacGuffin]

Anything I wouldn't do with a person in front of my partners. Kissing, intimate touching, sex, you name it.

[Maloo]

Originally Posted by ShannonPants

Well, the action behind it was saying hello to a friend.

No, that's the intent. The action is kissing someone other than your significant other on the lips.

[lyinginside]

i agree with superstar. anything that you wouldn't do infront of your partner is cheating. i have given my friends a peck on my lips infront of my other half cos thats just what i'm like. always done and never seem any harm in it. and it's on a peck that lasts a second and vise versa. my boyfriend wil peck his mates on the lips also.