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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Algernon Offline
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Our Friends Are Getting Involved - May 20th 2011, 01:57 AM

So if you've played D&D before you know there's a game called Pathfinder based off of it. My boyfriend and six other friends have been meeting for six months 2 nights a week for like 4 hours to play it. Our gamemaster is a complete asshole and I've only dealt with him because I don't want to get my boyfriend stressed out. But last session our "friend" Kyle called me a bitch. Then our gamemaster told us to "get the fuck out" of his house. Even though he's 26 and doesn't even have a car, we waste our gas to meet him in another city.

Since then I haven't talked to Kyle. I messaged Ricky because in all the six months I've known him he hasn't given me his goddamn number and doesn't like me. We are all in our early twenties or late thirties so this is fucking ridiculous.

My boyfriend was upset, but now he's going back tonight to play... I don't know how I feel about it. I don't want to tell him not to go, but I wish I didn't have to. I already set up another game with our friend Mike (who is also our karate teacher) and I know It's going to not be stressful. I was under the impression we weren't going back? And now he's going back without me? I feel like he's choosing them over me. And it hurts especially since they are causing a lot of problems. We even got into our second argument in eight months, which means it was a huge deal.

What do I do?


Geek? Nerd? More like intellectual badass.

"You ran through Africa, and Asia, and Indonesia.. And now I've found you, and I love you. I want to know your name."
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Harmony♥ Offline
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Re: Our Friends Are Getting Involved - May 20th 2011, 03:33 AM

I know it's hard when you think your boyfriend is choosing friends over you. I deal with this on a constant basis whenever we're out with friends. My boyfriend completely ignores me or doesn't even acknowledge that I'm his girlfriend. It sucks but...

We shouldn't get in the way of friendships. Did your boyfriend stick up for you at least? If not, then I'd definitely sit him down and tell him what's up. That's really shitty of one of his friends to call you a terrible name like that and him not stick up for you.

Be open about it; let him know that it's bothering you that you thought you two had decided not to join them in their game anymore, and you'd continue playing with another group. Say it hurt that his friend acted so crappy towards you, and the way he is acting about it isn't very much appreciated.

If it doesn't work, and he doesn't respect your wishes, I'd reconsider your relationship with him. If he's too afraid to stick up for you in front of his friends, what else could he not be doing for you (not saying he isn't doing anything, but you get the idea...I hope).

I hope things work out for you <3 Take care!











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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Our Friends Are Getting Involved - May 20th 2011, 04:14 PM

I'd just try and pick your battles with this one. I don't know much about D&D, but I assume he probably has a certain gaming rhythm going with these guys and enjoys playing with them in particular. Yeah, he probably should have stood up for you, but If you don't care for these friends (and the feeling is mutual with them) let him go off and enjoy his guy time while you go hang with some girlfriends. Its only a couple nights a week.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Algernon Offline
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Re: Our Friends Are Getting Involved - May 21st 2011, 07:42 AM

I feel kind of... Deserted? I played for six months and now nothing? I'm waiting on school until the first and right now I have nothing to do. I'm getting a full time job after my month of externship for my Phlebotomy. But he's my focus. I know It's not the best thing but It won't be very long, you know? I want to play again but I want an apology... And I'm the only girl who plays.


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"You ran through Africa, and Asia, and Indonesia.. And now I've found you, and I love you. I want to know your name."
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Our Friends Are Getting Involved - May 21st 2011, 07:52 AM

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Originally Posted by Algernon View Post
I feel kind of... Deserted? I played for six months and now nothing? I'm waiting on school until the first and right now I have nothing to do. I'm getting a full time job after my month of externship for my Phlebotomy. But he's my focus. I know It's not the best thing but It won't be very long, you know? I want to play again but I want an apology... And I'm the only girl who plays.
This makes perfect sense. I would try going to the next game, and see if anything happens. I know you enjoy playing the game and you feel as if you've got nothing to do with your spare time until you get your job and do whatever else you need too. You don't need to be dependent on your man, but since this only happens a couple of times a week, I understand that it was an important time for you to spend with him, and with friends, doing something you enjoy. Ask your boyfriend if they said anything about you at the last game (the one he attended without you). If they didn't, I'd go anyway. Who cares what they think about you right? They obviously aren't worth the time caring over since your a great person!











I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant




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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Algernon Offline
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Re: Our Friends Are Getting Involved - May 25th 2011, 07:34 AM

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Originally Posted by ball&chain View Post
I'd just try and pick your battles with this one. I don't know much about D&D, but I assume he probably has a certain gaming rhythm going with these guys and enjoys playing with them in particular. Yeah, he probably should have stood up for you, but If you don't care for these friends (and the feeling is mutual with them) let him go off and enjoy his guy time while you go hang with some girlfriends. Its only a couple nights a week.
Actually, you are quite right. He does have a "rhythm." My guy is a stickler when It comes to his routine. It's just hard because I have nothing to focus on for another week, you know? I'm having a hard time with my school and I'm finally finishing my externship on the 1st. But until then, he keeps me distracted =/ I know It's not good but It's not forever.

Now he wants two nights a week. 9-12. That means I get like... An hour with him then we have to go to bed. What do you guys think about this?


Geek? Nerd? More like intellectual badass.

"You ran through Africa, and Asia, and Indonesia.. And now I've found you, and I love you. I want to know your name."
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Harmony♥ Offline
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Re: Our Friends Are Getting Involved - May 25th 2011, 04:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Algernon View Post
Actually, you are quite right. He does have a "rhythm." My guy is a stickler when It comes to his routine. It's just hard because I have nothing to focus on for another week, you know? I'm having a hard time with my school and I'm finally finishing my externship on the 1st. But until then, he keeps me distracted =/ I know It's not good but It's not forever.

Now he wants two nights a week. 9-12. That means I get like... An hour with him then we have to go to bed. What do you guys think about this?
I think it seems like a good idea. It's only two nights a week, for 3 hours. You'll see him all the other days, and the hours before he goes. You said yourself that he is a stickler when it comes to routine, and there is no reason to keep him from that. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I truly believe in this point. You've got to let him have his own time, and you've got to have yours; if you don't, I think you'd both end up losing the sense of who you are. Everyone needs their space in their relationship, including people who have just begun dating, and those who have been dating for years.











I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant




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