Non-PG13 (Strong Language): EVERYONE LOOK IMPORTANT THREAD FUN TIME GIRLS

[TigerTank77]

So, here's my situation.

I've known this girl for a long time, since 07. Haven't seen her since 08, but we talk online. I used to have a major crush on her in highschool, but she had a boyfriend. Yeah, I know.

Things died down afterwards, we didn't talk as much. Just sort of drifted apart. Few messages here and there. A few times we tried to make plans to hang out or see each other, but between the fact I was busy, she was busy, she never texted back, I never texted back, or there was a mixup on location, it never happened.

We started talking again in February of this year. Things were crashing with my now ex, and I turned to her for support. I come to find out that last year her and her now ex boyfriend broke up. We talk, she helps to get me through everything.

A few weeks ago, and i posted about this, we talk about where we're at. She was going to date a guy but decided not to for the long distance issues, and I decided to go single for a bit. I simply wasn't ready to do anything major. We again made plans to hang out, she was going to come over to my place for a night and watch movies, but she never got back to me.

Right now, she's in Europe for a few weeks. And when she comes back, I want to get things moving. I have always felt in my gut that there was something there.

Now, I've thought about messaging her, suggesting very strongly that we need to actually see each other sometime soon (since I haven't seen her since I graduated fucking highschool), and hat we should make a habit of hanging out. I'm not the kind of idiot to confess my undying love for her or something retarded. I just want to say the right things. Everything else will come to me.

So, how should I get the ball rolling on this one?

[Smitten]

Not quite sure, my style is direct and to the point. "Hey, I like you. Do you feel anything for me? Yeah? cool, let's go out next week. Do you like sushi? wonderful! I know a great place, pick you up around 5pm Tuesday? see you then."

If she says no, Next. No use crying over what wouldn't have been anyway. Plus, you save yourself all the effort that you would have put in by not being direct.

[Acheron]

Just message her asking her to hang out at a specific place and time. Saying "sometime" is too vague. Obviously you can wrangle over times and places, but having a date set makes it more concrete. Don't immediately say that you should make a habit of hanging out, though. Makes you look needy. Even if you already know that you want to hang out with her more than once, let her think it's conditional on how your first meeting goes. Helps you both keep the right mindsets.

[TakeTheLeap]

Just message her and suggest something simple. "I'm going to be at _(place)_ at _(time)_ on _(date)_ and I'd love it if you could meet me there. We haven't seen each other in a while and we need to catch up. You can tell me all about your trip overseas!" Choose a coffeehouse, a park, or somewhere else that's quiet and relaxed. You don't have to give a reason why you'll be there, but giving her a specific time and date to respond to would be much easier than, "Let's hang out sometime," since sometime never seems to lead to a specific meeting time.

[Aletheia*]

Hey Ben,

I agree with the above posters. Being direct and to the point will ensure that she will show up this time. It seems she might be nervous about hanging out with you, which is why she never replies to your texts or gets back to you when you are supposed to be hanging out. Maybe she isn't ready for a relationship yet. There could be tons of factors. Try hanging out in a public place first, instead of going for the extremely intimate version of your place. Ask her out to dinner, to a movie, a walk in the park. Preferably somewhere that won't make her feel awkward, and you'd be able to talk openly since you haven't seen each other in quite a while.

Good luck and take care <3

[TigerTank77]

Thanks guys. Now I just have to wait till she comes home from frickin Europe. haha.

[Smitten]

Welcome.
Goodluck.