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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
SirKamyk Offline
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This girl I fell for - June 8th 2011, 07:37 PM

Okay, well, there is this girl in my year, which I started really to have feelings for at the end of year 9 to be honest.
I really like her, like, love her now basically, although I almost never speak to her, and every chance I miss I kick myself for later on.
It's actually really frustrating just to see her, single, delicate as she is, and me being a total wuss and being able to do nothing but stare.
Me and her are friends, as in we like each other like that, but we aren't close. As in, we wouldn't invite the other to hang out with our circle of friends.
Now, I've always been a bit of an introvert. OK, a lot of an introvert. Only recently (about beginning of year 10), did I start to properly make friends.

So I have a good social standing now, but it drives me insane that I can't do anything.
I don't know what to do.
I don't think walking up to her and saying 'I love you' straight out 'cos I'd just make a hilarity heap out of myself.
Nor walking up to her and asking her out to be honest, because, firstly, I would have no idea where to take her, and secondly, it would probably be very embarrassing since she is always with her friends.

We are now at the end of year 10 and I kind of feel time pressure, because if she's not my girlfriend at the end of year 11, she's very probably lost, since our school has no sixth form and the year will disperse.

Please, any help is greatly appreciated!
   
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Re: This girl I fell for - June 8th 2011, 07:40 PM

I think that just getting close to her will help. The next time you have the chance to talk to her, just walk up and do it. Think about the fact that you want something to happen before school is finished!

As for asking her out, you could ask her to talk to her alone, and just see if she wanted to go the movies or to a park or something? It doesn't have to be something super romantic and that really will help something to happen.

After you go on a couple of dates it would probably be a little easier to tell her how much you like her and how long. If you do it the right way, she'll probably be flattered and hopefully feel the same way?

Good luck. <3
   
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Re: This girl I fell for - June 8th 2011, 08:02 PM

Yes, thanks for the prompt reply...
Another thing I forgot to mention is that neither of us have ever had a relationship, which would probably make it extra awkward, right?
And I don't know, but it seems to me like walking into her group of friends and asking for a private chat would be EXTREME AWKWARD TURTLENESS.
I just can't do anything: I always tell myself I have to go talk to her, and then my legs just carry me the other way
Not that I'm trying to make excuses for myself
   
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Re: This girl I fell for - June 8th 2011, 08:14 PM

Haha you're welcome .

I don't think it has to be extra awkward, it might actually be better because if neither of you have had a relationship, you're both kind of trying to figure it out. It could be a good thing.

Maybe you could catch her after a class and ask to have a private talk for a minute? I'm sure if you remind yourself that you do like this girl A LOT then you'll get the nerve up to talk to her. I believe in you!

It doesn't sound like you're trying to make up excuses, you just have to get over this minor shyness... You can do it!
   
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Re: This girl I fell for - June 8th 2011, 08:47 PM

Aye, well then I'll do that. And try to talk to her harder, if that's possible.
Thanks, it's good to know someone believes in me
   
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Re: This girl I fell for - June 8th 2011, 10:54 PM

Heya!
It's okay to feel shy when you like someone. You can't possibly love her though, sorry to say. There is a difference between crushing, love & lust. I'd say you're somewhere between crushing on her and lusting over her. You hardly know anything about her, and love grows over time in a decent and serious relationship, which you haven't had either with this girl.
I like Maddie's idea. Ask to talk to her alone and see where it goes from there. If she doesn't accept or return your feelings, then she wasn't worth pining over all this time. You are still young, and there will be plenty of other girls to fall for later in life, so don't beat yourself up too much about it.











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Re: This girl I fell for - June 9th 2011, 03:46 PM

ShannonPants,
As much as your post annoys me, I will have to say that you are probably right :/
Although I'm not sure, because if lusting is emm... having inappropriate thoughts about her, then I don't have those. It's like my mind just doesn't want those.
I see her only as an adorable girl, and I feel I couldn't bear harming her in any way at all.
Would that make it a pure crush then?
   
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Re: This girl I fell for - June 9th 2011, 07:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SirKamyk View Post
ShannonPants,
As much as your post annoys me, I will have to say that you are probably right :/
Although I'm not sure, because if lusting is emm... having inappropriate thoughts about her, then I don't have those. It's like my mind just doesn't want those.
I see her only as an adorable girl, and I feel I couldn't bear harming her in any way at all.
Would that make it a pure crush then?
Lusting doesn't mean inappropriate thoughts. It just makes you think that you love her. I'd say your somewhere between crushing and lusting right now. You care about her, which is why you're worried about hurting her, although I don't see this happening. You seem like a great, caring person and she would be lucky to have you. Just try to talk to her.











I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant




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Re: This girl I fell for - June 9th 2011, 10:00 PM

Alright, thanks for the help, we'll see how this goes.
   
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Re: This girl I fell for - June 9th 2011, 10:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SirKamyk View Post
Alright, thanks for the help, we'll see how this goes.
You're welcome. If you'd like to talk, please feel free to PM me.











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