Ugh, over-thinking things probably

satis · **Ugh, over-thinking things probably -** June 23rd 2011, 04:09 PM

I'm a huge over-thinker and it drives me nuts! Usually I either post on here or give myself sometime to cool down before causing drama between my boyfriend and I. We've been dating for three years.

So today we had our last exam and met up afterwards in the cafe. He asked me if I was going home and I said "No.." He said he was. I asked "With who?" And he said "Leah stopped me in the hall and asked if I needed a ride." He and Leah have some of the same classes together, though they've never been good friends they went to the same middle school together. I know Leah, we've hung out in crowds before but other then that i'm not a huge fan. Shes flirtatious and obnoxious. Anyways, I asked him if he wouldn't mind asking her if she could give me a lift as well? He said okay and asked. He was walking to the school parking lot but I didn't want to go out there yet if all the seats were full. I'd feel like an idiot going out there, then being rejected and having to walk right back in. So I got pretty frustrated that we had to go right then and there and then my boyfriend got mad that I was frustrated.

Anyways she ended up saying it was fine but when we got there, there was no one else in the car. He sat upfront with her and I sat at the back. They talked the whole ride to his place (because his house is closer) and didn't engage me in conversation at all. I felt awful, like there was this whole in my stomach and I just wanted to cry. I don't know if I feel jealous or worried or just pissed off. But we haven't talked since and god i'm just so sad.

Harmony♥ · **Re: Ugh, over-thinking things probably -** June 23rd 2011, 05:34 PM

Hi there,
I definitely think you are over-thinking this situation. She may be flirtatious and obnoxious, but she was being nice when she offered him a ride. They've known each other longer, and she may be more comfortable talking to him, which is why she didn't try to start a conversation with you. This is normal, even for girls. We become shy when other people are around, especially other girls, maybe because we feel threatened. This might be the case.
But, instead of coming here looking for advice, the first thing you should have done was to talk to your boyfriend about it. I think what you are feeling is jealousy, and since you've been together for 3 years without any other problems with unfaithful partners, I think you are just overreacting. In order to move on past this little rift, you'll need to speak to him about it.
Take care,
Shannon

Falling Angel · **Re: Ugh, over-thinking things probably -** June 23rd 2011, 05:46 PM

hey,
personally i'd have to agree with shannon, you're jealous and should've gone and talked to your boyfriend about it... tell him how you feel... i know i get jealous wenever my boyfriend is standing there talking to another girl and pretty much completely ignores me until she walks away... i get jealous and pissed off, so you're probably feeling the same thimg... talk to him, and mayb even try to get to kno her so if the ride thing happens again you wont be left out...
Good luck!

hope this helps

Skeleton · **Re: Ugh, over-thinking things probably -** June 23rd 2011, 06:11 PM

I'd say you were over thinking. If he was sat in the front, it might come across as rude if they didn't talk to each other, especially if they've known each other for a while and even though they didn't involve you in the conversation, there was no reason as to why you couldn't involve yourself.

Madeleine.Claire · **Re: Ugh, over-thinking things probably -** June 23rd 2011, 08:49 PM

I agree with Shannon too.

You are probably over thinking it quite a bit, if they've known each other for a while then she would most likely talk to him over you. And he was only giving her a ride home, remember that too. You should talk to him about it, and tell him why you felt like that.

Good luck <3

PSY · **Re: Ugh, over-thinking things probably -** July 2nd 2011, 12:27 AM

One of my friends HATES it when no one sits in the front with her. She's willing to offer rides, but she doesn't want to feel like a chauffeur, you know? I also believe you were over-thinking the situation... but now that you've had time to cool off, you can apologize and put the matter behind you. If you believe you might have a problem with jealousy, why not talk to your boyfriend about how you can better manage those feelings when he's talking about or hanging out with female friends? =)