I'll never be the perfect girlfriend.

[TheBabyEater]

Now, I never really tried to be. Yes sometimes I get upset for silly reasons, yes sometimes I get drunk when I shouldn't and accuse him of things I know sober would never happen. But I always apologize, practically beg for his forgiveness. I get a little bit "dark" sometimes, things in my emotional and social life haven't been easy, and I thought he understood that. He always said he did. But I've tried everything to make him happy when I'm not upset. I try talking to him all the time, only to get ignored by him because he doesn't want to talk. So I tried only talking to him when I was spoken to, when he obviously wanted to talk. Then he got upset I didn't text him first. (Even though I told him I don't like waking him up since I'm up at 6:00am for work.) I've tried giving him nothing but love, and he still seemed upset so I tried showering him with gifts, even inviting him to what many people say will be the concert of the year, U2 this sunday. I still have no one to go with, because he needs to "watch the house." I've tried talking to him when I was upset so he could help me through it, help me calm down, but that seemed to upset him and make him mad, so I tried just pretending I was alright and he called bullshit on me every time.

I don't know what to do to make him happy. For awhile I tried to ignore it, not talking about it, but a friend said it needs to be addressed so today I basically told him how hard I'm trying to be the perfect girlfriend to him, and he blew up at me. Said I was on the offense and trying to insult him or something, got all defensive and gave an excuse for every little thing. I wasn't looking for excuses, I was looking for a solution.

I don't think the words "people tell me all the time how much better I could do than you" will ever get out of my head.

The worst part is that I love his desperately. I just spent like, $50 on him buying his early Birthday present, but I have a feeling it won't even matter. And to make the worst part even worse? It looks like we'll break up before I even get to move back home to where he lives. And what if we do stay together, but don't quit fighting? Things have been known to turn physical in the past, and if these fights and accusations keep up no doubt they'll turn physical again. I just don't know what to do. Usually we're not like this. Usually we're that borderline obnoxiously cute couple, but this is just too much.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

Hey there, I totally know what you mean about not being the perfect girlfriend. Actually, it seems like I do a lot of the same things you do. The difference is that my boyfriend & I have talked about what we expect of each other so we don't get mad at the other person for making a small mistake with good intentions (like your waiting for him to text first so you don't wake him up). You two should talk about it, but not when you are already arguing about something. If he doesn't appreciate the things you do for him & doesn't treat you well, you may want to find someone that will.

[Serene]

First off, stop drinking.

Your job isn't supposed to be to make him happy. Especially when a guy has that sort of attitude towards you. He sounds like he is in a much too dominating position in the relationship, and if you feel like you aren't perfect for him or that he could do better, that is only going to increase. I would tell you to get more aggressive towards him, (no matter what you did/said, he should never make you feel that you have to "beg for forgiveness") but if fights have gotten physical in the past, it might just make them worse.

If he said that he could do better than you, he was most likely already thinking it for a while. That isn't something you just throw out when you are angry. It also is only going to make you further do whatever it takes to gain his acceptance. That isn't healthy. YOU are the one he needs to please, not the other way around. If you tried speaking clearly, openly and honestly about it, and he still acts like this big of a dick, then I don't know what to tell you.

You shouldn't look to how you two 'were', but how you are and what you are going to be. People change. Not only themselves, but how you see them. You need to ask yourself if you are in a position in your life that you can sacrifice that much of yourself simply to put up with this change. Ask yourself if they are worth it.