hate it when he drinks

[Cali Gurl]

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for about two months and we have been friends for three years.

Today is his birthday and he tells me tonight he is going to hang out with his cousins. Every time he hangs with these specific cousins he drinks and I really dont like drinking because I have had problems with people in my life drinking(ex boy friend was an alcoholic, moms ex husband was an alcoholic). I was also in every 15 minutes ( a drinking and driving awareness program) and it made a big impact on me. He knows I hate drinking but he says that he is still going to drink.

Should i keep trying to get through to him how much I dont like it or should i let it go ?

[PSY]

He's going to drink, one way or another. If you keep pressuring him not to, then he'll just do it behind your back. =/ I understand where you're coming from, as I was part of "Don't Drink and Drive" programs in high school, and I waited until I turned 21 before drinking; however, the bottom-line is that many people don't share our feelings about alcohol.

I think the better route would be to encourage him to drink SAFELY. If you know he's going to do it either way, then at least ask him to drink in moderation, to not drink and drive, to only drink when family members and friends can keep an eye on him, to only drink at home (and not in public where he could get arrested), etc. As you have probably learned through your program, that is generally the more effective route with underage drinkers, so I imagine that will be the case with your boyfriend as well.

[Aletheia*]

As much as you hate it, you'll just have to respect his decision to do so. Just because people drink doesn't automatically make them dependent on it, like alcoholics. I drink purely when I am with friends, or when I want too which isn't very often. But, if you pressure him not too, he'll just do it behind your back which isn't cool either way. Just respect the fact that he can make his own decisions.

[PlayingPretend]

I agree with Shannon. I'm not sure I'd even go into talking to him about drinking safely... Maybe it's only been my/my friend's experience[s], but it's still come off as insulting. Personally, the most you can choose is to be removed from it yourself (it's what I've done/do, and it's generally been respected) by not associating with him when he's drunk, but you can't make or influence his decisions, nor should you. I think you need to respect his decision to drink with his cousins and try and trust that he'll do so safely and not go overboard; no one should have to stop for the sake of somebody else, and no one should have to stop if it's not a problem, i.e. alcoholism.