Triggering (Abuse): Relationship...turned physically abusive

[Thatsmyname]

I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 17. When we started dating he was a great boyfriend but for the past few months I noticed that he had a anger problems and he'd get mad over little things and he'd get mad at me even I'd I did something on accident. I know I should have paid attention to that but I just ignored his anger problems. Farther into the relationship we'd always argue but I'd never thought that it would get to the point were he'd get physical with me. For example last week I was over at his place and I asked if he'd seen my purse because I thought that I had left it there. He then started yelling at me saying that I thought he stole my purse and ended up slapping me across my face leaving a bruise under my eye. Right after he slapped me he started apologizing and I forgave him but now I just don't feel right about forgiving him. I always told myself that if I got into an abusive relationship I'd leave but now that it has happened I don't know what to do. if I should just forget about the incident or if I just don't make him mad he won't hit me? I don't know. I believe that love doesnt hurt but I also believe in second chances

[PlayingPretend]

All I can say is that it's unlikely to get better. If he hits you once, he will hit you again, and again after that, and again after that. The instant someone resorts to physical violence is the instant they lose their right to a second chance, in my opinion. My advice is to get out before it gets any worse; you don't deserve this.

[Meowwings]

Wow, once he hit you, you should have never accepted his apology. He is done. This is not okay, obviously if he made a random ussomption like that, that means there is something else going on and you will not be a part of his life. Don't just forget about it, when you do, you let othedr little things go. This was not okay and you should not subject yourself to try and please him so he won't get mad. My parents can fight like they are having a civil war but they never lay a hand on each other. Don't take this lying down. It opens doors for more abuse and you WILL get walked on by whoever has a dominant side. It WILL lead to depression if you let this relationship continue and he will NOT see the error of his way if there is no consequence. Get out now while you have the chance.

[Aletheia*]

For many, leaving an abusive relationship is a lot easier said than done. However, you have to have the strength and courage to get out. He hit you once, so he'll likely do it again. Those things aren't accidents, and should never be forgiven. However, I can understand you're point of view.

You need to get out of the relationship before he hurts you any further. Once you're so far deep in an abusive relationship, it becomes harder and harder to leave. The best thing to do would be to tell a trusted adult, i.e. parent, about what happened and get their help. Or, even a trusted friend, preferably male. When sometimes like this happens, you need to remove yourself from the relationship.

Forgiving him once gives him the idea that if he does it again and again, you'll just keep forgiving him. Don't let it get that far. Protect yourself.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

All I can say is if he does it again, dump his ass.

[MacGuffin]

I hate to say this, but it's not going to get better. Once he's hit you once, he's going to hit you again. It's best to try and get out of this relationship while you still can. It might be hard to find the strength to walk away, but perhaps you'll be able to with the knowledge that this relationship isn't going to get any better. A relationship is supposed to be about love and support, not about you being his punching bag.

[reaching]

This sounds so much like what happened to me. If he ever hits or, or gets mad for something as little as a question, he doesnt love you. Love is respect. I wish I would have left before it was too late. It only took one time for my boyfriend to permanently change my face. I waited too long, but you can leave now. Leave before its too late.

[PSY]

It doesn't get better, and if you stay in this relationship, you'll start to justify his actions. I made the mistake of staying in an abusive relationship for one year, and while I knew that what he was doing was wrong, I started telling myself that I was partially to blame... if only I didn't do X, and if only I did Y, then he wouldn't have a reason to abuse me. I also felt sorry for him, and believed that if I left, he wouldn't have anyone willing to help him with his abusive behavior. Unfortunately, this prevented me from getting out of the relationship when I should have. I had to meet someone else before I worked up the courage to leave... and even then, I subjected myself to further torment while with my new boyfriend.

You know what you need to do. You're going to feel guilty for leaving him, but you need to keep telling yourself that it's the right thing to do. Encourage him to seek help for his problems, but make it clear (both to him and to yourself) that YOU cannot be the person to support him in his recovery. There are always family members, friends, teachers, counselors/therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists, and other adult mentors that can aid your boyfriend in his recovery. Don't EVER make the mistake I did, and convince yourself that YOU have to be the one to "save" him.

[Ashleyhateslife]

Sorry to hear this has happened to you. I went through the same thing. I fell inlove with a wonderful guy. My first time being in love. It was great at first. Then we started fighting, then he started hitting. He told me if I didn't start sleeping with him, he'd "go after my sister" I asked him what he meant, and he said he'd make her put out if I didn't. She was 9 or 10 at the time. I then, found myself pregnant. I didn't want a baby in that situation. I now regret waiting that long to leave. He took away all my self confidence, my self respect... Something I will never be able to get back, my virginity.


Think about it this way, if you were to get pregnant and have a baby, would you want your child to see what was happening to you, or be put in the situation? Or what if one of your close friends was going through something like this what would you tell her to do?

I can't make your decision for you but I strongly recommend you leave hm ASAP.

[Le bonheur*]

I don't want to be negative but it's not going to get better. Once he throws that one hit, and you forgive him, he'll feel like he has control over you. He feels like you'll always take him back if he hits you. I strongly suggest leaving. It's easier said than done, I know from personal experience, but it's something that has to be done. Feel free to message me with any questions or anything. I'm here for you<3