Girlfriend wants to leave her family behind.. help?

[semiunbalanced]

We've been together for quite a while and right now we're both out of that honeymoon stage and just falling more and more in love with each other. I love that this is the case because I never get to see her. We only ever talk on the phone so I'm glad we're still okay despite everything.

One thing we've talked about is how when she turns 18 she will move out and dorm in college and stuff and she's decided that she doesn't care if her parents are in her life or not after that. They've hurt her so badly by all the things they've done (there's a massive list and I think her feelings are justified as well as the rest of my family) that she doesn't want them in her life when she's older. She's said that if we get married they won't be invited to the wedding cause they don't like me and she'd rather me be happy and relaxed on our special day than make her parents happy. I'm more than willing to share my family with her and I think my family's pretty supportive of us (they just still think we're in the teenager lovey dovey stage haha... little do they know) but I'm worried that she may be making the wrong decision. My parents are a huge part of my life (really my whole family is) and I can't imagine not caring about their opinion or not missing them or basically not still having them be a huge part of my life. My girlfriend doesn't have that relationship with her family but I've always heard it's better to keep them closer than to drop them entirely... I don't know what to do or say because I'm not in her situation. I feel for her completely and ideally her parents wouldn't be so rude all the time (to both their daughter and to me) so I can see why she's making this choice but... I'm just scared. I'm worried about her. Please give me some advice?

[Aletheia*]

Ultimately, it's her decision if she wants her parents a part of her life or not. And, I think you should be supportive of whatever decision that she makes.

I know a lot about your history together, and I only know that they have hurt her a lot in the past, but if your really worried about this decision, you could talk to her about. Explain you will be supportive of whatever decision that she decides to make, but you think that leaving her family behind won't be the best idea.

Ultimately, the decision is up to her, and you can't stop her from doing what she wants to do. But, you can express your concerns for her, and explain that you don't think it's a good idea. But, don't try to force her to see your point of view. Forcing isn't going to get you anywhere, and it could lead to a very bad situation for you. However, there is no harm in expressing your opinion to her.

[MY NAME IS ERIN]

I totally get where your girlfriend is coming from.

I know I'm not inviting my family to my wedding for personal reasons but it is her choice. She seems to have a few legitimate reasons why she doesn't want a relationship with her family and you need to be understanding of her situation. I get that you don't want her to regret her decision but it is her choice.

And since I am the same way with my family I think guys should voice their opinion but not force their opinion (if that makes sense). But talk to her about it and tell her that you don't want her to make a mistake and that your only saying it cause you love her.

Good luck!!

[semiunbalanced]

Thanks for the replies!

I know her reasons are legitimate and I definitely want to be respectful of her choice. I may talk to her about it when it gets closer to her either turning 18 and moving out or if we get married someday (when it's legal... minor details haha).

Thanks again!