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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

View Poll Results: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)?
Yes, I try to date someone in the same religion (or lack of) 12 21.43%
No, someone's religion does not affect my opinion at all 30 53.57%
I would prefer to date someone who is religious, particular religion not important. 3 5.36%
Other/I don't know (post to explain if you wish) 11 19.64%
Voters: 56. You may not vote on this poll

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Smile Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 7th 2011, 10:57 PM

Soo would/do you only date within your beliefs? Or does it depend more on the strength of beliefs..?

I used to date a Roman Catholic and tried to think it didn't matter that I'm Atheist, but it kinda did. Some of my opinions that I'm happy to keep to myself the majority of the time I'm not happy to keep to myself ALL the time. If that makes any sense..

Vote please

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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 7th 2011, 11:15 PM

Yes, only because theists would mostly likely not appreciate my atheism, therefore, I try not to date them.
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 7th 2011, 11:34 PM

I'm sitting on the fence by being agnostic, so I wouldn't really mind if my partner had religious beliefs or not. If they were so strong that they controlled every aspect of his life (and therefore our lives), I might have to reconsider though.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 7th 2011, 11:43 PM

I wouldn't be very picky about that, I'm Baptist, if they're Catholic, so what? Agnostic or Atheist, as long as we still had similar political thoughts and morals, sure. I don't think I'd date someone of a whole other religion though.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 12:06 AM

As an Atheist, it doesn't matter to me. As long as this person respects my beliefs, has good morals, treats people well, and all in all is a good hearted person, I would be fine with her beliefs. Other aspects of personality matter more to me than religion.
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 12:37 AM

I chose "Other/I don't know" because I'm agnostic. I'm not sure if that will change or not. If someone is extremely religious or has certain beliefs and they try to push their beliefs on me, there will be a problem. If I feel ready to be religious, I will. But if the person I'm dating is not pushy, then I guess I don't see why not. Though I'd prefer someone with the same or similar beliefs.
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 01:30 AM

I chose yes. I'm an atheist, and I've found that no matter how much I'd like to pretend it doesn't matter, it does. I have strong opinions about organized religion, and I'd feel pretty uncomfortable dating someone who adamantly disagreed with me. I have plenty of theist friends, and that has never been a problem, but when I once dated a theist guy, there were a few awkward exchanges, including one with his overzealous mother! Since then I've tried to stick with non-churchgoing type like myself. Everyone is more comfortable that way.




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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 01:34 AM

My beliefs on God are shaky at the moment, all I know is that I do believe in something.
My boyfriend has very strong beliefs in God. He doesn't go to church or anything, but I know that he prays, he's asked me if I do before and I said no, or that when I do it's to my grandfather that I never got to meet.
Either way, it's never gotten in the way of our relationship at all. (:
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 08:30 AM

I think it would depend.

I'm a very spiritual person. I consider myself pagan and I dabble in Wicca. If I was with someone who could not respect this religion or who was so intolerant there was not a safe place to talk about it, I do not think I could do the relationship. An example would be when I talk about reincarnation with my boyfriend; he listens, is interested, asks questions, or responds to it in the context of the conversation, even if he doesn't believe in reincarnation himself. I've had a friend who wouldn't even "allow" me to talk about it unless I wanted to "get what I deserved to have coming." I've had religious friends who respect and again, are able to talk about/share in my beliefs, and I've had friends who are too involved in their religion that they're closed-minded about anything else. So I think that it depends more on morals and open-mindedness than anything. I wouldn't want to be with someone who was silently judging me for my path, sexuality, etc.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 09:10 AM

I don't really believe in anything, so dating someone religious wouldn't really bother me. I just wouldn't want them to try and force their beliefs onto me.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 10:31 AM

I don't really believe in anything but I still respect what other people believe for as long as they don't try to push their beliefs onto me. I do find religion to be an interesting subject though and it's one of those topics that you could talk about for hours but you will never make any progress with it and peoples views on the matter won't change. Anyway, now I'm just rambling and I should probably answer the question. If I was attracted to somebody then I'd date them regardless of their religion, it wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't limit my options due to religion.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 10:51 AM

If they are happy to accept me and my religoius beliefs, I am happy to accept theirs. Couples don't have to agree on everything. As long as he didn't push his beliefs on me as I wouldn't on him.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 12:08 PM

I don't take religion into consideration with dating. They can believe what they want, and I'll believe what I want. I don't want that to get in the way of our relationship. I date a person for who they are, not what they believe.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 02:38 PM

My views are kinda mixed on this. As a Christian, I'm technically supposed to be with other Christian people. But I wasn't raised Christian, I was raised by two adults who don't even have the same religion. Therefore, I don't take religion into consideration. Although, I don't think I would date a whole different religion. I think I would stick to religions similar to mine.

My boyfriend was raised Christian, but he's agnostic.
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 03:39 PM

Doesn't matter. I personally have dated a lot of Christans, including a Catholic, and a Muslim. (I'm atheist)


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 03:55 PM

Their religious views wouldn't matter to me. I personally WOULDN'T date someone who took religion so seriously however. I only went to church for about a year when I was 5, and haven't gone back since.

I'm a nondenominational Christian, and my current boyfriend is a Roman Catholic, but his religion doesn't define him. He was baptized when he was a baby, but never went through any of the communions or anything, or whatever they are called.

If they were into religion, it wouldn't bother me, but I would expect them to respect my wishes and my own views on religion.











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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 04:45 PM

I was actually really surprised when I found out that my boyfriend was religious. It wasn't something that either of us found important enough to bring up early on, oddly enough, and I think I half-assumed he hadn't given religion much thought. It turned out we both grew up with religious backrounds, and had bad experiences with them, but still found that our core beliefs in God were the same. Sometimes when he's in a pickle, I tell him how much praying helps me, but I think his views are too loose for him to feel very much benefit from praying; the point is, I wouldn't be telling this to someone who didn't believe in God. I've been "interested" in an atheist before, though, and I think that it would have been okay because we're both relatively open people; that never progressed for other reasons, though.

Yet, there are atheists who have it out for most religious, and vice versa, and religious who have it out for most other religious, so I don't think if either person was any of these they should really bother continuing things unless they care enough to just accept it and move past it. What's really important is the person's morals and beliefs about treating others and life, if these views that are often BASED on religion differ too much, there's bound to be issues.
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 05:17 PM

I don't mind if I dated someone that was more spiritual than religious. I think religion should be a personal thing not forced upon just because a partner is that way. As long as they keep that to themselves, I'm fine with it. Religion isn't a huge issue, but I think my parents wouldn't like it if I dated or married someone who was Athiest and talked crap on how stupid God is. It should be kept personal if that's what you believe in and respectful. I'm really not into religion that much, but I don't want a partner that's strict on it.




   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 06:51 PM

As long as there isn't some extreme debate every time religion is brought up, I have no religious preference. Many religious people do find fault in my agnostic beliefs, but I'm up to discuss, not to debate.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 08:01 PM

I'm not really sure, because our differences of opinions and lack of the same interests or having anything in common therefore could affect our levels of communication and I would eventually find it difficult to have a conversation with that person because we'd both have different opinions, which could cause conflict.
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 8th 2011, 08:02 PM

I would be happy to date someone from a different religion as long as they didnt try to force their beliefs onto me.
I've got lot of friends from different religions and backgrounds so I dont see why me having a boyfriend from a different religion would be much different.
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 9th 2011, 01:46 AM

I'm not really religious but I make up my own beliefs. I would be willing to date someone of any religion as long as they don't try to push it on me.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 9th 2011, 10:22 AM

Lots of people have said they don't mind unless their partner pushes their beliefs on them.. I know its way off for most, but what about if you had children? I'm strongly against telling children what to believe, I think children should be educated about lots of religions and given the choice as to what belief system fits best with their own opinions. But I know from discussions with my ex (who I was with for over 3 years) that if he had any children he would want to raise them as Roman Catholics. I would find this extremely difficult to cope with. So does this make a difference?
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 9th 2011, 05:26 PM

I am not religious. So it can cause issues dating someone who is religious. Therefore, I more so avoid religious people when dating. I don't mind them it just avoids arguments, etc. I have dated christians who are totally fine with a lot of things and aren't all "no sex, no drugs, no alcohol, no nothing" and we get along. It's the one's who think everything I do is bad and basically limits our relationship. So we are friends...with a title, which isn't my thing.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 10th 2011, 03:18 AM

Well, I can't be too picky because I doubt I'll find many Buddhists in South Dakota. haha. I doesn't matter what religion they are, unless they are very religious. The religion doesn't matter, it's just to what extremes they take it.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 10th 2011, 03:21 AM

I would date them, but most likely wouldn't marry them. Because then children become involved, and I would only marry if we were on the same page about raising our children.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 10th 2011, 03:55 AM

I am a Christian. Just to date someone it wouldn't really matter to me, but when I'm getting serious and searching for 'the one' I'll marry, I'm defiantly prefer them to be Christian like me. Cause I always want to be able to meet them in heaven.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 10th 2011, 04:11 AM

I would try to date a Catholic specifically, but it wouldnt kill me if I dated a jew or muslim. I wouldnt date someone who didnt believe in God unless their disbeliefs were wavering.
My aunt thought she married a christain, but it turned out he is an atheist with another family, and hes tearing the original family apart just so my cousin fiona wont be raised around christianity. So yeah, I think its very important that I marry someone of the same religion.
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 10th 2011, 07:32 PM

I used to think I could/would only date people who had the same beliefs I did, but time has a way of changing things. My first boyfriend I met at my grandparents church, shared the same beliefs as mine, but after a year of dating stated abusing drugs, then me. While he has now turned his life around, been clean for over a year and working a steady job, and I am happy for him, I learned a valuable lesson there. Not to say that people who share my beliefs can't be good partners, but that shared beliefs does not guarantee a healthy relationship. The boy who I dated last (and hopefully will get together with ) didnít share beliefs with me at all, but our relationship itself was very, very good. I was raised Christian, but donít practice Christianity per se, and describe myself as more agnostic than anything. He is more spiritual, and believes in reincarnation and the trying to make peace with oneís own soul, which he allows could be done with religion but not so with him. Weíve had a few moments in our relationship where are beliefs clash when we first started dating which I got upset about that because he was doing what he hates Christians doing so much: trying to force his beliefs on others by being extremely disrespectful to those who have religion. We talked it out though, and have mutually agree to be respectful of all peopleís beliefs.

As for children, we talked about that as well. We both support the idea of allowing our children to choose there own beliefs when they feel ready and want to. If they want to go to church with mommy, fine (I donít even attend church right now, and I donít know if I will by this time but I acknowledge that I might). If they want to stay home with daddy, thatís also fine. We also plan on exposing our children to beliefs other than our own as well, its important to me that my children make the decision for themselves.

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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 11th 2011, 12:10 AM

As long as they didn't try to force their views onto me and respected my beliefs, then I'd have no problem dating someone of any religion, or without any religion.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 11th 2011, 04:09 AM

Religion wouldn't be a main factor in dating someone. I'm not religous, but I wouldn't mind someone who was at least somewhat as long as they didn't try to "save" me and we agreed on most major issues.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 12th 2011, 08:17 PM

As with any other potential "deal-breaker" in a relationship, I think it only becomes a significant obstacle if one or both people make it one, either through having very strong and immovable views on the subject or being either unable or unwilling to accommodate the other person's point of view. For me, it would not be an issue for two reasons. One, I'm nowhere near certain enough in my beliefs to even try and claim that I am completely right so being open-minded and accommodating on the subject is my default anyway. Two, I date people based on who they are as a whole, not whether they make a particular choice on the census. How well suited we are to each other depends on far more than how we each view God, if we both believe in a God or Gods in the first place. As such, I wouldn't exclude anyone on those grounds any more than I would exclude them for picking NASCAR over Formula One, or pop music over indie or rock.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 12th 2011, 08:27 PM

As an agnostic, it honestly wouldn't make any difference to me, unless their religion was so extreme that it got in the way of our relationship.
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 13th 2011, 06:07 PM

My opinion on this has recently changed. All of my previous boyfriends were either atheists or "Christian-in-name". I am a Christian, but I only recently began to truly live my life in the way that I am supposed to. So prior to this summer, dating an atheist (or even someone of another religion) wouldn't have bothered me. Now, however, I feel it's vital to be with another Christian (and not just "in-name"). I want to be able to pray with and study the Bible with my future husband. I don't want conflicts on how to raise our children (ex. do we take them to church, and if so, which one?). I want someone with similar values and beliefs.


   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 13th 2011, 08:00 PM

I personally don't care what someone else's religion is as long as they don't try to force me. However, in past times when I have dated someone more trending towards Christian/Catholic/etc they could not tolerate my religious choices even when they said it didn't matter, and so because of this I have been reluctant to date them again. This doesn't mean I would not be willing to try so again, if they really meant what they said about not asking me to convert.

I tend to date people along the same paths as me, though not strictly in the same religion. I'm a satanist and have never had a problem dating athiests, agnostics, pagans, etc. I think this is because those raised in the Catholic religion (like myself, actually) have been taught that "Satan" is something to be feared, and the name of my religion scares them. I don't know for sure of course, it's just a theory.

Similar values and beliefs are the most important to me. I don't mind a little controversy with some things, but I would prefer that we both agree with the basic rules of satanism (most people do whether they realize it or not, since it's just stuff like don't hurt children and be polite in other people's houses), and that doesn't require the same religion. What might require a lack of religion is that if we have children I would like to give them the choice. If they would like to go to church, they may. If they want to follow a different religious path, they may. People strongly attached to their own religion often want their children to follow it, so anyone strongly attached to any religion, even mine, probably isn't a great match for me.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 14th 2011, 12:38 AM

I chose other.. For a few reasons.

I was raised christian/catholic in a catholic school and a part of a parish and all of that.. I have friends of numerous different relgions and i have absolutely no problem with that. But a few friends of those friends of mien, have tried to push their beliefs onto me.. And I really don't appreciate that. (I consider myself Agnostic now.. I have for a few years.)

I enjoy learning about other peoples perspective on things, socioligy, all that kinda stuff. Different religions interest me.. But I don't believe in them.

I wouldn't mind if someone i dated was of a different religion. The guy I'm with now is catholic/christian but hes not.. really into it i guess. Its just what he was rasied as and what his family considers themselves. We've had a few talks about it and he knows my belifs on it, and doesnt try to push anything on me. I dont try to push anything on him, so all is good.

But if someone tried to push their beliefs on me... It wouldn't work. I'm.. a very opinionated person, in more ways than one. I tend to keep those things to myself, unless someone asks.. But I would just get frustrated. I also had bad experiences at that school/church.. That may play a part in why I have an issue with people pushing beliefs on me. But regardless..

'Other'. It just depends on the person.. Haha.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 14th 2011, 01:49 AM

Yes, religion would affect my choice, in that if someone was ridiculously set on making me a member of their religion or changing the way I think, I would not be able to stand them, and thus no romantic relationship could come of it.

However, if the other person excepts that we have different believes and is able to agree to disagree and continue loving me despite our religious differences, I would date them.


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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 16th 2011, 02:33 PM

It doesn't matter as long as the person respects my choice.



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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 16th 2011, 04:05 PM

It would affect my choice, although I'm not sure I could say for sure. For example, a very moderate, liberal Christian I'd have no issue with. Buddhism is absolutely fine. I'm not sure I'd date a muslim woman because of the whole culture of it that I dislike.
   
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Re: Do you/Would you only date someone of the same religion (or lack of)? - September 16th 2011, 06:14 PM

I tend to be very powerful in my emotions when it comes to religion and politics. It becomes kind of hard to be friends with somebody who is an extremist. I'm a Christian but I'm not an extreme Christian. I don't mind those who are, and I have two friends who are but I probably would never date her or him.. Actually, I know I would never date either of them. xD My brother was an extreme Atheist for a while and that drove me nuts too. When somebody is an extremist they tend to somehow make everything about their religion (or lack there of) and then I can't help but put in my two cents. Despite how calm and rational we both try to be it usually escalates. My girlfriend and I are both neutral Christians. We get along great and when something is hard we pray for each other. That being said, she was there for me when I was trying to find my religion. There was a point in time when I couldn't figure out if I was Christian or agnostic and she was there for me through all of that. Now we are both established Christians. I think it's just easier to find some common grounds (beliefs and whatnot) if you are of the same faith.
   
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