Hating the person you love?

[Ambush_Reality]

Cliche, I know -_- but I'm pretty sure I hate the person I love. Is it even possible?

I alwayssss want to be near her. I always want to be talking to her. I think she's beautiful. She has the most awesome personality. She has a huge heart. Shes my best friend. She's almost perfect. I love her.

But she's a girl. And I'm a girl. She likes my best guy friend, he likes her. But they stay away from each other for my sake (I used to have a crush on him, I pretend I still do but it's actually her). If anything, she should hate me. Maybe she does. It's hard to explain but as well as always wanting to be around her, I hate her for the way she makes me feel. I think about her constantly. I hate her for the time I've wasted on her. It's been over a year and I just can't seem to move on. I feel like she leads me on sometimes. I've tried to stop talking to her all together. I lasted about 4 days.

She's the first girl I've been in love with (I'm bi)

[Aletheia*]

I don't think you hate her. We can't help whom we have feelings for. Maybe she's confused about her feelings for you, which is causing her to lead you on. Talk to her. Communication is key.

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by ShannonPants

I don't think you hate her. We can't help whom we have feelings for. Maybe she's confused about her feelings for you, which is causing her to lead you on. Talk to her. Communication is key.

I agree. I don't think its necessarily that you hate her, its that you hate your feelings for her. Instead of pretending to like him, I would come clean and tell her the truth, its never good to lie to your best friend.

[xxpaigiexx]

Hey Samantha,

You can't really blame your friend for the way she acts, she doesn't know that you have feelings for her. If you know she is straight then there is probably no point in persuing this further. By telling her you like her it could cause major problems for your friendship if she doesn't return your feelings.

I think if there is a chance then it's worth a bit of a risk... but if there is no chance then you're going to have to move on.
You're young and there are plenty of people out there and you will meet someone who will also return your feelings for them.

Best of luck,
Paige

[VampirePrincess]

Ah, that sort of hatred. This is sadly, very common.

First of all, she isn't leading you on - intentionally, anyway. She isn't aware of your feelings for her, and you're reading too much into what she says and does I'm sure because of your feelings. I have a best female friend and people always think we're lesbians because we're always hugging, always acting alike, even holding hands sometimes - but we're both in commited relationships with men This is just the way friends act around each other. It's pretty darn hard when you have feelings for them, but that's just the way it is.

If she likes this guy, and you don't, then tell her you don't like him anymore. When you truly love someone you want them to be happy, even when they can't find that happiness with you. I personally wouldn't be able to deal with the guilt keeping apart two people that like each other. Love is a pretty strong barrier for that guilt, but I still say it's important for you to back down.

I also suggest coming clean to her. Don't tell her you love her, but tell her that you believe you have developed feelings for her. She won't stop talking to you, I bet. A lesbian friend of mine told me she was crushing on me once and we worked past it just fine. We had a huge amount of trust for each other and knew it wouldn't destroy our friendship. So give it a try. You never know - maybe she too is just pretending to have feelings for this guy, as he's a very easy one to have an excuse for not dating!