Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jellly Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
Jellly's Avatar
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Location: Australia

Posts: 8
Join Date: October 4th 2011

Could somebody advise me on wth is going on :/ - October 4th 2011, 09:05 AM

Ok so my formal is this saturday and I was going to go with this girl. All of her friends told me she was going to pull out because she always pulls out of social events. She's kinda anti-social like that. Anyway so last weekish on holidays she sent me this message:

dude, about formal, ive decided im not going to go, i was planning on getting a dress last week,
but i was sick, and i pretty much have 1 week left to get my shit and i havnt gotten anything organised / no money from
my parents for europe if i go to formal. id go this week but im doing 36 hours from tomorrow onwards, im sorry mate,
hoping you never really gave a kitten in the first place ? :S anywho no formy, id rather spend the next few days doing things
I actually want to do, such ashaving a holiday (outside of home and work :\) and i am not fussed on whether i go or not
(its also b rices birthday parteh on sat as well so i wil go to that then poost) but ill see you at the post, and hope you enjoy
the formal and thta i havnt mucked you up to much (and im a coward doing this when your not even online :|) and alsooo im telling
you now because mum and i decided it last night.

that was an essay of fear


Anyway I wasn't too annoyed, I mean she gave me plenty of warning and tbh I didn't care about the formal more so her. So that was fine and I sent back a message saying all is good. She didn't reply so I messaged her again the next day thinkign she didn't get the message. Anyway long story short she didn't reply at all. This was in the holidays so I thought I'd just talked to her face to face on first day of school today. I don't sit next to her till 7th period. Sometimes she sits with me but she didn't today so I still thought we were at least on talking terms. :/

Anyway in the 7th she says one word to me the entire lesson; "hi". Last term EVERY lesson we would get pulled up for talking/laughing too much together. Anyway this has happended before and I remember once I just made a big deal out of nothing and she wasn't actually ignoring me so I tried talking to her multiple times. Every single time she literally looked the other way and started talking to this other guy or started whistling. Ahhh wtf I have no idea what is going on, last term people were beginning to talk of us as a couple already and we had gone ona few dates and then BAM this. Somebody try explain this from a girls point of view hah?

Btw i'm in year 12, which is 17-18 years old.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Average Joe
StrigidaeofChrono's Avatar
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Washington

Posts: 120
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: March 30th 2010

Re: Could somebody advise me on wth is going on :/ - October 4th 2011, 02:27 PM

That sucks, first I'd like to say that it doesn’t just happen with you. Being incredibly flaky is a pattern of hers, a big enough one that her friends actually warned you she wouldn’t come. If that is such a huge pattern for her it is likely that that wont change once you are dating. Now she isn’t talking to you, for the time being it looks like she has lost interest in you. And honestly her behavior to me, sounds like she is openly being very disrespectful to you. This could be another pattern(I cant say this for sure because this is the first time you've said shes done this).
I personally would not date her because it sounds like she isn't super interested in you and or doesn’t know how to treat her friends well. I used to be a kind of flaky girl and when I was I was because I was not into the person. Also you should ask yourself that even if you were to date, would you really want to be with someone who treats you so poorly?

You can try asking her why she is acting the way she is, since communication is the key to success in a relationship. Perhaps she will give you an honest kind response and explain the way she is acting.

"Setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation - although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in fact they are attempting to manipulate. The difference between setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is: when we set a boundary we let go of the outcome."

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

Colonel Meow
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Harmony♥ Offline
Proud Military Girlfriend
Jeez, get a life!
Harmony♥'s Avatar
Name: Shannon
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: IRAW!

Posts: 5,741
Blog Entries: 11
Join Date: March 31st 2010

Re: Could somebody advise me on wth is going on :/ - October 4th 2011, 04:34 PM

It seems to me that she might not do well in big social situations, but her behavior is quite flaky. Her friends have seen this pattern of hers, and warned you. And, you said it had happened before. She may be worried that she has upset you, or she is just being flaky and is ignoring you all together. In all honesty, I wouldn't even try right now. Let her be the way she is, and it's likely she isn't going to change. But, if you ignore her, she's likely to come back around eventually. Beat her at her own game.

I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant

HelpLink Mentor 6/13/2011
Pregnancy & Childcare Moderator 11/26/2011
Fashion & Style Moderator 12/28/2011
Social Groups Moderator 12/28/2011
  Send a message via AIM to Harmony♥  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Dr.Bobby Offline
Senior TeenHelper
Dr.Bobby's Avatar
Age: 63
Gender: Male

Posts: 864
Join Date: September 9th 2011

Re: Could somebody advise me on wth is going on :/ - October 4th 2011, 05:56 PM

I'm a guy, but I'm going to answer anyway. It's those pesky credentials...besides, this is an easy one.

I think your 'Friend' has some pretty major issues with commitment and relationships and the like. Adios! .....and don't look back.

PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Jellly Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
Jellly's Avatar
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Location: Australia

Posts: 8
Join Date: October 4th 2011

Re: Could somebody advise me on wth is going on :/ - October 4th 2011, 09:08 PM

Thanks for the responses. I tried talking to her again last night and she instantly went offline ahaaa. Going to try one more time at school to actually figure out what is going on and then if still nothing just going to stop. It'll be hard though, we used to spend every moment out of school of together it seems :/ Thanks for the help though you guys, appreciate

- You don't know what you have until you lose it. -
- Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise. -
- You forget what you want to remember, and you remember what you want to forget. -
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
bitesize Offline
Member since April '07
Outside, huh?
bitesize's Avatar
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Ireland

Posts: 3,943
Blog Entries: 321
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Could somebody advise me on wth is going on :/ - October 5th 2011, 12:03 AM

It sounds to me like she migh have some commitment/intimacy issues and is just drawing away from you to protect herself, bu she shouldn't be treating you so harshly. I think you at least deserve an explanation from her. If that doesn't work just forget about her, she's not worth it. Ironically she might start paying you more attention if you suddenly start ignoring her...

Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
Closed Thread


advise, wth

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright ©1998-2021, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.