How can I stop obsessing?

[whitleejo11]

I've never had a real boyfriend or ever kissed anyone and I'm 17. I know it isn't that big of a deal but it's hard not to obsess with it when my friends have had these experiences and they talk about it a lot. When I talk to my friends about it they basically put me down by saying you have to stop being shy and I know they're partly right, but being shy is a part of me that I don't really want to change. Another factor is that I am homeschooled and I don't really meet too many people. The people I do socialize with are twice my age and older. Sometimes I have days where I cry about it because I just feel left out.

[Silhouette]

My old psychologist told me that some people are just naturally shy, you can find ways to cope and sort of open up, but it will always be a quality that you have. You should explain to your friends that finding someone isn't just about being less shy, its about finding someone who you like which is hard to do since you are homeschooled. As your friends, they shouldn't put you down like that and I'm sure they don't realize it bothers you as much as it does. They probably just really want you to find someone so that you can join in on their conversations about it. Maybe they can invite some guys they know so you can meet new people?

[Harmony♥]

Hey there!

Firstly, I'd like to welcome you to TeenHelp! I hope you enjoy it here.

Anyway, as said, some people are naturally shy and it's always going to be a quality you have. There are ways to change it, and to open up about certain things. It's not easy, but there are ways. For this, I suggest you try talking to your school counselor. They're great for things like this, and gives you a chance to open up to someone who is unbiased and will give you an unbiased opinion.

I wouldn't worry too much about your friends. Sure, they're going to have these experiences but so will you. With time. It's hard meeting new people because you've been homeschooled, but there are ways to meet new people in your community. You could try doing some volunteer work, or joining some clubs within the community. There is always something to do and always people to meet. Don't give up. These experiences you want will come with time, so there is no need to obsess over them.

[PSY]

I'm a shy person. It's something I've accepted, but that doesn't mean I can't work on being more outgoing! It's a constant effort on my part, and there are definitely times when I need to step WAY out of my comfort zone in order to get what I want - but it's almost always worth it. Just something to keep in mind as you're meeting new people. There's a difference between pushing yourself, and being someone you're not. I'm confident that you can find the balance. =)