Boy problems!

[JamieIsntLamie]

So I am having this terrible problem. I recently am going to a new school and I am in 8th grade and I'm 14. I'm also a girl... just fyi. So there is this guy in the 7th grade who I just kinda fell in love with. He is the sweetest, funniest, (most attractive guy that I've ever met. I am legit just head over heels for this kid. But there are a few problems to this love story. This amazing 7th grader, who we will call bob, has a few problems with the law. He failed a drug test, so he had to go to court and now has to go to counseling, I know he isn't a virgin and has had sex with many girls, he also has a girl friend at the moment. And because he has girl friend, I decided to date this guy form my 8th grade class, who I don't really like. We will call him jim. Also jim and Bob best friends. So I started dating Jim only a few days ago and he has liked me for a while and I wanted to try to get over bob because bob had a girl friend and he had many other problems that I'm not sure how to deal with. And I'm the type of girl who is attracted to bad-boys and guys that have problems, like Bob's problems. So I don't want to be dating Jim anymore because I just feel terrible for using him like this, and he deserves much better. But I can't break up with with hime just yet because we are working on this school project together for the next few weeks and I don't want to make it awkward. I also have been texting and talking to Bob WAY more frequently than I ever talk to Jim. And honestly I thought that by dating Jim, I would be able to get over Bob, but I can't and I''m not sure if I ever will. But Bob is definitely a player. He is 13 and has had sex with a bunch of girls who are much older than him. I'm not sure that if I dated him that he would treat me differently because we have been friends for several months now (and we are are really close, I am the only one who knows about his drug problems etc) and I thought he would take our relationship more seriously if we were friends first. Bob has made it very clear that he finds me attractive and we flirt A LOT, all of the time. He means the world to me, I worry about him every moment of every day with his drug problem and he just gets into trouble a lot at school, and I don't want him to get expelled for doing something stupid. He is just one the sweetest guys and when I fall for guy, it doesn't just end in a few days, this is something that will last. I just don't know how to handle this whole situation and walking away from Bob isn't an option for me. So thank you soo much for reading this and hopefully you respond, and I'm sorry for being so shallow, it was never my intention to make anyone feel bad but I'm afraid I will.

[Chair]

You don't have to walk away. But you shouldn't walk any closer either.

[JKmadu619]

You're 14, you do not need to be invovled in an STD ridden drug addled 7th grader. He is a loser, and you're just falling for him because he's a bad boy. He is way too young to be involved in this, and will only get worse with age. If by 13 he's invovled in drug use, sex and getting in trouble with authority, I would suspect jail by 21. I don't have much more to say on the topic other than I would highly recomend against acting on this.

- Justin

[Bella xx]

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

You're 14, you do not need to be invovled in an STD ridden drug addled 7th grader. He is a loser, and you're just falling for him because he's a bad boy. He is way too young to be involved in this, and will only get worse with age. If by 13 he's invovled in drug use, sex and getting in trouble with authority, I would suspect jail by 21. I don't have much more to say on the topic other than I would highly recomend against acting on this.

- Justin

He poses an excellent point. You are way too young to be involved with a boy like this. He will be lucky if he doesn't get his third point by the time he's 18. I suggest you try to forget about all boys for a few years. Trust me, you've got time.

[PSY]

In regards to Jim, it's cruel to stay with him if you don't want to be with him. Break up with him - gently, of course. Yes, it's going to be awkward to work on this project with him afterward, but you can't string him along like this. It's not fair. You could say something like, "I'm sorry, you're a really nice guy, and I like you a lot, but not in that way," or, "I'm sorry, but my feelings changed, and I really just want to be friends." He's probably going to be upset, but he's going to be much more upset if he finds out you waited several weeks before saying anything. When you're working together on the project, keep it strictly "professional" - you're not two "exes" working on a project, and you're not two "friends" working on a project - you're two "classmates" working on a project. Focus on the work at hand, and nothing else. If he seems distraught, ignore it. You two don't really have any other choice, other than to stuck it up and get the work done as best and as quickly as possible.