Female Advice Preferred: I think my chances of getting a girlfriend are nill

[Warachia]

I don't believe I'll really have a chance at getting a girlfriend..

I pretty know the advantages and disadvantages, along with the advantages of refraining from dating(Judging from I read in a Christian book, my mom gave me, dating looks like a hassle).

(Honest Psychological Overview)

Well I like video games, especially doujinsoft games(Japanese fanmade and independent games) and I like RPGs too, but I'm knowledgable about them, maybe too much.

I'm also a fan of anime(Some of my choices, have been called weird by peers, e.g.-FLCL,Elfen Lied,Chobits) and I have a goal of making a machine that makes anime and video game characters real, along with engineering a type of a surgery that gives girls animal ears and tails

Plus I have a few anime/video game girls that I have a crush on.

A main factor is my interest in the horror genre..

I'm the guy who loved Halloween(the original one) and found Psycho confusing at first(shower scene doesn't trump the scene in The Shining with the old lady in my mindset)

I also like certain horror tropes(like the "Glasgow smile" and a couple of others I'd rather not mention..)

I seemingly do like the idea of blood and gore and when three of the things I loved(two pets and my mother)died this year, I never grieved.

Apologies, though, I must be too redundant or I'm rambling..

I also act in a different manner,gender wise..

When I am around fellow "brothers"(or guys), I act normal and I'm myself.

Around girls, I go "neutral", to say in the least..

I act as if I'm talking to a business person and I'm more along the lines of being a serious person, as I don't insult or act perverted..

I act as a shell of my ownself..

[Nicole!]

Honestly, your interests won't keep you from getting a girlfriend. The thing is to find a girl who shares these interests. There are lots of girls who like anime and horror.

What exactly do you mean when you say you act neutral? Does that mean your just yourself as well? Thats the best way to act, just loosen up and try not to make yourself too nervous. It gets easier the more you talk to girls.

[Warachia]

Except I have a more "twisted" view of horror..

I find the idea of sex effective in horror, especially psychological horror.

My view of horror has been affected by Silent Hill,Psycho and various other horror productions, most recently, "Silence of the Lambs".

I also seem to go a bit crazy late at night(I yell at my plush catfish saying "STUFFED CATFISH".

And my "acting neutral", I mean..

In front of other guys, I'm normal and upbeat and normal.(And humorous to boot.)

In front of girls, I act like a emotionless robot, I prefer not to open up either

And I see myself as "the negative guy who sits in the back corner, that no one cares about" and in that situation, I can think of ideas for my novel and stuff.

I evade most social situations and I prefer isolation with much few contact with anyone other than family and friends.

[Chair]

I'm still looking for a reason that proves your chances are very low... Everything you mentioned is fine. There are probably more girls than guys I know that share those same qualities and likes. Don't you have an amine/manga club at school?

Also, you should practice talking about yourself with girls. You can choose to leave out whatever you think would give them a reason to be uncomfortable, but anime, rpg games or horror movies shouldn't trigger bad responses in people.

[Warachia]

How about more along the lines that I find limbless girl sorta sexy and that I think corpses of people who have hung themselves good ways to have atmosphere

and at the youth group I go to on Wednesdays, the girls seem to outnumber us guys and of course, none of them are probably going to ask us out.

I dunno if it's the acne,overweightness,lack of muscles,the fact that I have a history of being negative and silent or lack of aftershave

The youth pastor told me not to look(so in the sense of my mind, I should continue desiring isolation with very few human contact and just wait until a girl comes up to me.) and to be myself.

[Seebeyondthesurface]

Trust me you will find someone for you. Someone who will appreciate of the things you like. You have to be yourself though. Because if they don't know the real you how are you supposed to find the right person.

And trust me I understand no guys like me because I am too sensitive I guess. Never have a boyfriend. But I have to believe that all of us have someone out there for us. If we don't then there is honestly no point.

[Warachia]

There isn't someone there who's similar to me.

Plus I think a girl walking up to me would be easier.

But I digress.

Even getting a car probably won't improve my chances.

Plus I'm defeatist and slightly masochistic.

[Angel]

I suppose you could wait for a girl to walk up to you, but if you want company, sometimes you have to seek it out for yourself. If you prefer isolation, finding a companion is naturally going to be difficult. Making the slightest effort to be more social or personable could make all the difference. You don't have to be the same around girls as you are around guys, but letting your presence be known is a great start.

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by Warachia

There isn't someone there who's similar to me.

I would just like to point out that there are about 7 billion people in this world. There is bound to be at least one girl that is just like you.

[Warachia]

Originally Posted by Angel

I suppose you could wait for a girl to walk up to you, but if you want company, sometimes you have to seek it out for yourself. If you prefer isolation, finding a companion is naturally going to be difficult. Making the slightest effort to be more social or personable could make all the difference. You don't have to be the same around girls as you are around guys, but letting your presence be known is a great start.

Well there was this one girl at the youth group who was crying for some reason, so maybe this coming Wednesday, if she's there, I can comfort her a bit and ask her if she's doing okay, maybe talk a bit, but I'm just going to go about my business.

(The chances of me gaining her as a new friend are slim at best.)

[Ibanez]

You're assuming that your personal interests are what's detracting girls when the two have no correlation whatsoever.

It's more your negative, self-pity attitude (which you've already acknowledged as a problem) that you need to drop.

[Seebeyondthesurface]

Originally Posted by Warachia

There isn't someone there who's similar to me.

Plus I think a girl walking up to me would be easier.

But I digress.

Even getting a car probably won't improve my chances.

Plus I'm defeatist and slightly masochistic.

Yes trust me there is someone out there for you! And you can't just expect the girl to walk up to you because most likely they aren't going to. We are so afraid of rejection. Trust me I asked a guy to sadies last year he stood me up and now I won't even flirt with a guy unless I know he is interested in me. You just need to be yourself. For a lot of girls all they are looking for is a nice guy with a good personality. So just be yourself and the rest won't matter. If someone really likes you they will like you for all of you even the weird parts because trust me everyone has things that are weird about them. Just most people try to hide them at least your open about everything. Thats something that girls will definitely like! Just use it. Its makes you different from most guys and thats something that girls like! Trust me!

[Warachia]

Well I'm a person who critiques certain things in the world.

And I've had this attitude ever since 2009.

I am not a positive person on the inside.

I know of society's ills,I've seen death multiple times,I was picked on by members of other forums for being who I am(Two forums I'd rather not mention.) and I've been defeatist.

The world is full of fricking chaos and I believe it can't be really be possible for me to have a positive attitude on life ever again.

2011:
Watched Elfen Lied>Concluded that life sucks and society is evil.> Watched Clannad and Clannad:After Story>"Life is good and who cares about the past, let's live.">Joined Youth group at church.>"Life is gonna get even better">Death of mother.>"Why,God?">Neutral, with closed heart.>Second guinea pig dies>Reverts to negative outlook on life.>play Silent Hill 2 again>Solution and better outlook on life?

[Seebeyondthesurface]

Originally Posted by Warachia

Well I'm a person who critiques certain things in the world.

And I've had this attitude ever since 2009.

I am not a positive person on the inside.

I know of society's ills,I've seen death multiple times,I was picked on by members of other forums for being who I am(Two forums I'd rather not mention.) and I've been defeatist.

The world is full of fricking chaos and I believe it can't be really be possible for me to have a positive attitude on life ever again.

2011:
Watched Elfen Lied>Concluded that life sucks and society is evil.> Watched Clannad and Clannad:After Story>"Life is good and who cares about the past, let's live.">Joined Youth group at church.>"Life is gonna get even better">Death of mother.>"Why,God?">Neutral, with closed heart.>Second guinea pig dies>Reverts to negative outlook on life.>play Silent Hill 2 again>Solution and better outlook on life?

I know exactly how you feel. And if you want I could tell you all the shit that has happened to me. But trust me I can go on forever. The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that everything happens for a reason and knowing that it can only get better. I would have seriously already killed myself already if I didn't believe in God. God is only thing that gets me through the day. And you have such a negative outlook on life. Your trapped in all of your negative thoughts about life. Nothing positive can ever happen if you keep this outlook on life. All the good things are just going to pass by you but you won't notice if you keep this attitude. There are some things that I don't think anyone can explain like death. And all the shit we have to go through in this life. But God won't give us more than we can handle. You just have to embrace what you have and try to make the best out of life!

[Justin Bieber]

I'm assuming a whole lot here, so ignore the irrelevant parts or anything that you find offensive.

It sounds like you aren't having luck in the girl department because you aren't ready/ don't really want a girlfriend. It sounds like you already know there isn't a girl out there for you, and you're not too enthused about trying to find that special someone. If you're attitude is turned off, no girl will approach you anyways. Sure, I personally think your interests are a bit out there and no I wouldn't be able to date anyone who is so negative, BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO LIKE ALL SORTS OF THINGS. Think about everyone who gets arrested from acting on their personal sexual fantasies.... Anyways. It sounds like you are more depressed and upset... happily isolated... than uninteresting or undesirable.

I do think defeatist describes you well-- perhaps that's what preventing you from a relationship.


My advice-- work on being happy with yourself... finding some confidence.... get excited at the opportunity to meet people, make friends, and find someone special. Although, I suppose you could carry on and wait around for the right girl to meet you.. *shrug* It's up to you. I just think you should be a little more proactive about it.

[Chair]

Originally Posted by Santa

I'm assuming a whole lot here, so ignore the irrelevant parts or anything that you find offensive.

It sounds like you aren't having luck in the girl department because you aren't ready/ don't really want a girlfriend. It sounds like you already know there isn't a girl out there for you, and you're not too enthused about trying to find that special someone. If you're attitude is turned off, no girl will approach you anyways. Sure, I personally think your interests are a bit out there and no I wouldn't be able to date anyone who is so negative, BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO LIKE ALL SORTS OF THINGS. Think about everyone who gets arrested from acting on their personal sexual fantasies.... Anyways. It sounds like you are more depressed and upset... happily isolated... than uninteresting or undesirable.

I do think defeatist describes you well-- perhaps that's what preventing you from a relationship.


My advice-- work on being happy with yourself... finding some confidence.... get excited at the opportunity to meet people, make friends, and find someone special. Although, I suppose you could carry on and wait around for the right girl to meet you.. *shrug* It's up to you. I just think you should be a little more proactive about it.

It's not that he is happy with being alone, nor that he thinks there's no one out there for him, he just thinks too highly of his weirdness; when in my book he's pretty average.

You're not special for not crying at your mother's funeral or getting turned on by a lifeless body. You watch a lot of fucked up anime you have a lot of fucked up dreams but it's like you would actually have the balls to make any of those dreams come true if while you keep telling yourself that you become a robot the second you hear a voice higher than a certain pitch and see breasts. You've been limiting your subconscious to work out with only a certain type of images and those images happen to be less talked about, but they're not that weird. They're just thoughts. We all have our own little fantasies; just cause we keep thinking one way about a situation doesn't mean we only have one way to react to that situation in real life.
Talk to people. Talk to girls. You'll be surprised of how interesting other people are and how many crazy things you could be doing with them. No point in telling yourself you're special when you only have a small group of male friends and anime - rpg crowd to compare yourself to.

[Warachia]

(Scratch the previous post.)

Alright I'm going to lessen my negative attitude, but then again..

Disadvantages of first girlfriend
-Can't play Silent Hill or watch any horror movies/anime(Make her deal with "Zombies" mode of COD)
-Can't watch certain anime like Chobits(Too sexual),FLCL(Too confusing) or Elfen Lied(Because it's horror).Clannad is fair game.
-Can't talk sports(and can't watch 'em much either.)
-Have to go to mall(Can handle, if I can go to a game store.)
-Can't imitate Sheldon(Damn it and I like doing that.)
-Most of my opinions won't matter.
-Have to listen to Justin Beiber or Lady Gaga and watch Twilight
-Other stuff.

Going to test the "Wearing Aftershave" theory on Wednesday, will report back.

[Justin Bieber]

Originally Posted by Warachia

(Scratch the previous post.)

Alright I'm going to lessen my negative attitude, but then again..

Disadvantages of first girlfriend
-Can't play Silent Hill or watch any horror movies/anime(Make her deal with "Zombies" mode of COD)
-Can't watch certain anime like Chobits(Too sexual),FLCL(Too confusing) or Elfen Lied(Because it's horror).Clannad is fair game.
-Can't talk sports(and can't watch 'em much either.)
-Have to go to mall(Can handle, if I can go to a game store.)
-Can't imitate Sheldon(Damn it and I like doing that.)
-Most of my opinions won't matter.
-Have to listen to Justin Beiber or Lady Gaga and watch Twilight
-Other stuff.

Going to test the "Wearing Aftershave" theory on Wednesday, will report back.

Wait, why can't you do any of those things? AND why do you assume all girls like the mall? and Twilight? There are plenty of chicks out there who have the same interests as you... want to talk and watch sports... watch anime.

[Warachia]

Specifically that's why it says "first girlfriend".

Let's see..

-With the exceptions of goths/emos, most girls don't like scary stuff.
-I already said why.
-Sports is mostly a thing for us men.(Like Football.)
-Our culture has shown this stereotypical trait various times in fiction.
-Because Sheldon is weird(and those who haven't watched The Big Bang Theory won't understand.)
-Because it's what the girl wants and rarely us guys have our say, due a possibilty of a breakup,being called sexist,etc.(Especially feminists.)
-It's considered "cool" in our culture.
-..

[PSY]

Not only are you stereotyping women... you're stereotyping yourself. Look, it's one thing if you have interests that are outside of the cultural norm. It's another thing altogether if you stick a label on your forehead, thus limiting yourself to the point where you essentially screw up your chances of finding a compatible girlfriend. You've got to stop with the defeatist attitude. That's not a part of who you are - that's something that can be changed, regardless of your life circumstances and interests. It does NOT have to define you.

[Warachia]

Alright and if I do that, what else do I have to do?

Lose weight?Gain muscles?Kill all traces of acne on my face?Get a car? Get a job?
Be James Bond?

[Seebeyondthesurface]

No all you really have to do is be yourself and someone will like you for that!

[Warachia]

Hmm...

"Romance is a unrecordable and unpredictable object of psychological and emotional planes that can never be truly comprehended by the human mind."

and really, it'll be hard for me to open up to girls(rather than act neutral.).

Because girls just want guys with muscles and perfect bodies.

Turn on the tube, you'll get what I mean.

[Seebeyondthesurface]

Um your stereotyping again. Not all girls want a guy with muscles and a body. You have such a black and white way of thinking. Girls aren't just one or the other. Every person is different. Just like you are different. Nobodys going to like you less for that. If anything thats whats going to let you connect with someone on a different level. You just have to be willing to let them in.

[Chair]

Originally Posted by Warachia

Hmm...

"Romance is a unrecordable and unpredictable object of psychological and emotional planes that can never be truly comprehended by the human mind."

and really, it'll be hard for me to open up to girls(rather than act neutral.).

Because girls just want guys with muscles and perfect bodies.

Turn on the tube, you'll get what I mean.

Totally dude. Totally. You're totally right.

[Warachia]

Originally Posted by Seebeyondthesurface

Um your stereotyping again. Not all girls want a guy with muscles and a body. You have such a black and white way of thinking. Girls aren't just one or the other. Every person is different. Just like you are different. Nobodys going to like you less for that. If anything thats whats going to let you connect with someone on a different level. You just have to be willing to let them in.

Yes,BUT...

Even if I get a girl's number, I'm gonna forget to call her and stuff.

(I'm still a Sheldon of society,because my social skills in front of girl suck.)

[david2357]

wow, its almost as if i wrote this. im the exact same way. i doubt ill get a girlfriend either

[Warachia]

And I guess I could "put myself out there" at the youth group, by plaing on the piano there, but then again, what song that I've learned?

"Midna's Desperate Hour" or "Song of Healing" from Zelda?
Or even dare say, the novice version of "Everything I do(I'd do it for you)"?

I'm just a Sheldon of society, only occasional brainstorms.

[Samrz]

Open a mortuary. And don't worry. Someone will run into you one day and absolutely love you.<3 Be yourself.

[Warachia]

....Please be joking..

[Childish Giggle]

I was going through the posts, and I don't know why no one has mentioned this, but why are you looking for a girl exactly like you? If I look for a guy, I'll first make sure that he is totally opposite. Or we'll end up fighting, screaming, arguing all the time. Conflicting personalities you kniw.

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by Warachia

"Midna's Desperate Hour" or "Song of Healing" from Zelda?

Sure, why not? It'll just sound like a pretty instrumental piece. You don't even need to tell them what it is. Hell, I taught myself to play fingerstyle guitar using music from Chrono Trigger.

[Warachia]

Originally Posted by Pisces

I was going through the posts, and I don't know why no one has mentioned this, but why are you looking for a girl exactly like you? If I look for a guy, I'll first make sure that he is totally opposite. Or we'll end up fighting, screaming, arguing all the time. Conflicting personalities you kniw.

Because other girls would find me weird.

Hell,I can even act out the whole opening scene from Silent Hill 2.

But then again,my friends' brother attract girls,by playing piano and taking requests.

I'm been playing since '04 or '05.

Hmm..

[Brandon]

You have to ask yourself one question...

"Why SHOULD a woman date me?"

If you can't find a reason why a woman SHOULD date you, then you're not ready for a relationship. Not everyone is ready for a relationship, and there's nothing wrong with taking the time to take care of yourself. But if you expect to get into a relationship with a woman when you feel that she has no reason to date you, then you will be thoroughly disappointed when you can't get into a relationship. Either give women a reason to date you, or stop complaining about it and learn to take care of yourself.

[Warachia]

Well I posted the same topic on a different forum(Because I like different opinions.)

And one of the replies was this(she's hispanic, so his english grammar isn't perfect, no offense.)

Originally Posted by Kaynil

I'm sure there is a girl around there that will find interesting, to say the least, most of your hobbies a views. I know a girl who likes dark stuff and my group of friends included some girls that were all happily seeing Sweeney Todd. One of them and I let out a big "Damn" when the 'pretty woman' was interrupted just before he could sliced the man's throat. So just like not all man act the stereotype, so does woman, not all are delicate flowers that will run shyly or dismay in shock upon learning your hobbies. Besides man, Elfen Lied and Chobit are excellent anime choices.

Going outside your comfort zone gives you room to feel awkward. I guess you are being too self-conscious about yourself when in front of a girl. I give the impression a lot that I am angry or that I get angry about what someone said when I am just speechless out of being intimidated by the idea of saying something non-smooth that leaves a bad impression. I ultimately sabotage myself into doing that.

With people, probably the more you treat someone the more you can little by little open, it still hold with girls, so maybe with some time you can feel more relaxed to show yourself more openly. You are still inside the age norm, so don't lose heart, in some years you may find yourself more ready to start a meaningful relationship.

Of course my reply was this:

I believe I'm still going to be a "Sheldon of society", although I could try using aftershave or using my skill of playing the piano to attract girls.(My friend's brother seemed to attract girls by doing that.)

But most girls would rather want a guy with muscles, rathet a [Edited] pound horror/anime nerd like me.

Not everyone is a "Rene Gagnon"(Google it), I guess.

And rather, who would want to go out with me, I look like this:

[Edited]

[Brandon]

If you are convinced that no girl will like you, then no girl will like you. Women are a good judgment of character, and so the way you present yourself to other people can show a lot about your personality. If you are convinced that you won't get a girlfriend, then come to that acceptance and start doing things to benefit YOURSELF rather than worrying about not getting a girlfriend. If you really wanted a girlfriend, you could get one but every problem that we deal with starts from the inside.

[Angel]

Originally Posted by Brandon

If you are convinced that no girl will like you, then no girl will like you.

This.

You see, you don't need to be perfect or even close to it to be dating. Everyone is human and most girls understand that you don't have perfect, unblemished skin, that you have your own opinions, and that you have your quirks. You just need to find someone who appreciates your quirks. You aren't allowing this to happen if you constantly put yourself down, avoid any social situation where you would interact with girls, or if you don't put in much effort. If you seem uninterested, most girls will pick up on that straight away. I know I wouldn't be too bothered in talking to someone who doesn't seem to want to hold a conversation with me.

It's not what's "wrong" with you, but rather how you are handling this situation and how to perceive yourself as.

[Warachia]

I don't think I'll have a chance at youth group.

Because I'm just the guy who sits away from everybody and messes around with his phone or ponder thoughts.

Girls come in and do whatever and leave to whereever they're supposed to go in the church.

I'm not sure if aftershave WILL improve my chances.

[Rii Blackheart]

Ok dude one there are actually a lot of girls who like sexual horror stuff and anime... trust me i know a few. and there will be a girl that will not care if you play video games, like anime, and like horror stuff and you will know them because you will be able to be yourself around them and they will be fine that and like because you are you.in other words dont give up some girl will come around and like you.

[Warachia]

Well I'm not really perfect with math,If a fighting game doesn't have "Akatsuki Blitzkampf" in it's name, then I'm not good at it(and get my ass kicked online.),My drawing are slightly subpar at best(still trying to draw anime hair.),my viewpoint of horror is twisted,grotesque and Lovecraft/Silent Hill-influenced(though sophisticated.),considerably if in conversation, I ramble on too much, I hate crap like Twilight,Beiber,Lady Gaga,"The Vampire Diaries" and others,I'm a guy just adores WWII stuff(Downfall/Hitler parodies got me interested.),I'm a socially awkward homeschooler with only three best friends, I'm a bit overweight and have acne.

I evade social situation(excluding family,friends and the guys at youth group.),I don't have a driver's license yet,the only FPS I'm good at is Goldeneye 007,I depise "girl stuff" like Barbies and crap like that.

I don't get why the hell people think asses are sexy(I don't mind breasts.).

I dream about anime girls.

And pretty the only type I have confirmed to desire is a chick who's down to earth,not a aggressive bitch,neither redheaded(trust me on this.),nor Southern,or a fan of ghosts.

And even I decided to sign up to eHarmony as a test, there probably wouldn't be a match.

And my novel ideas would be considerably creepy as hell to most girls.