Starting to get a bit down about it...

[NeverSayNever]

Hey,

So I haven't been with someone for a while now. I've been messed around a few times, and have got into a few sticky situations in the past so I've ended up just not being with people. I haven't actively been avoiding it, it's just kinda happened, and up until now I've been pretty happy that way.

However, in the last few months I've been kinda wanting to get back into it again. Not necessarily relationships, but just hooking up every now and then, having a laugh at parties, that kind of thing. But I'm finding that I can't really get anyone now :/.

I'm bisexual, and the last few relationships I've been in have been with girls, however all the people I've been "fancying" recently have been guys, but I'm getting the feeling that the guys think that I'm not really into guys anymore, and don't really give me a second look.

I'm not the hottest, skinniest or sexiest person in the world; I don't wear tons of makeup, nor do I have legs that go up to my ears, but I think I'm quite pretty and I can make people laugh, I'm attractive in a less obvious way, but I've been more than capable of hooking up with guys and girls before. But I think that because guys think I'm gay, they don't bother trying with me or anything, they don't realise I'm on the market.

The other day I was at a fancy dress 18th birthday party with a load of mates. My mates' band was playing, and I've recently been pretty attracted to the (male) drummer. I was being all a bit flirty, we had a few drinks together, I gave him a few fags, making all the right moves. My best mate (who is a girl) was also hanging out with us, we were all having a laugh. But then at the end of the night he went with her. She's hotter/taller/leggier than me and for the fancy dress she was dressed as Jessie J, so I just had no bloody chance! I'm not that angry with her, but I told my best mate afterwards and she was like "oh shit sorry! I didn't even realise you were into him!", and so even my best mate just assumes that I'm not gunna be 'on the pull' as it were!

I'm just getting a bit down with it all. None of the guys I fancy I've been able to pull. And I'm starting to fall into that "well why would any one ever want me anyway?" kind of mentality, which I can already tell is not good, but I don't know what to do about it!

Sorry about the rant, just a bit down.

NsN
x

[Nicole!]

Even though you haven't been in a relationship for awhile doesn't mean that nobody wants you. If you are being flirty towards guys, then I'm sure they put the pieces together and realize that you are bi. It could just be that they aren't interested, but that doesn't mean that will be the case with every guy you fancy.
You just have to keep looking because it can sometimes take some time to find someone who things work out with. Just remember why you enjoyed being single, how you can flirt with whoever and don't have a commitment with anyone and enjoy it for now.

[NeverSayNever]

Yeah, that's why I've been staying single for so long, just so I'm not committed to anything or anyone; I can just have a laugh. I think I've just been out of the circuit for too long.

As an update, even though my best mate was like "well we won't do anything then because it's unfair on you" they clearly still are. I don't really know why they bothered trying to hide it or stop it, they clearly had no real intention to. Bit annoying.

So like, the other day in the car I was picking some music to put on from her iPhone. Whilst I was just browsing the music, every few seconds she would glance over, clearly checking what I was doing, making it transparently obvious that there were texts on there to him that she didn't want me to read.

Very very frustrating. Why bother saying "we won't do anything" and then just carry on.

xx

[Nicole!]

She doesn't want to upset you, but she isn't willing to let go of him. I think you should confront her about this, because its not fair to you that shes lying to try and keep both of you. If she is your friend, she shouldn't be lying to you.