Confusing emotions

[tula]

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, and gradually we ended up living in my apartment as he originally lived about an hours commute away but goes to school in the city just like me.

I love him, and I care so much about him, but lately I feel like my emotions are fading.

That happens often with me - I grew up moving around a lot and so I move between people easily without permanent attachments, normally. This time, though, I'm just not sure. We've been together this long, and he really loves me. I think more than I love him, which is part of the problem for me - that pressure of having to be there, unchanging. I've always been the kind of person to come and go as I please, and now I can't. I can't be the reckless and impulsive person I really am when I am in a relationship - and although it is good because it has saved me from the destructive path that I was on I don't know if I can keep it up. I don't feel entirely like me any more.

I'm considering ending the relationship, but I'm worried because he'll take it very hard and he has a history of SH and bad self esteem. I don't want to push him into that again. I also don't know if maybe my feelings are weak right now because it's been a long time and since winter is coming and I'm afflicted by a sort of winter-depression, I suppose you could call it, which is to say in the long dark months I just lack energy and motivation for everything.

I just really don't know what to do and could use some objective input on the whole deal.

It's especially important since I'm finishing my current education (vocational) this summer and him next (he's taking a longer education than me) so I have to consider applying for colleges this summer and all.

My head is ready to implode from all the thinking.

[FillingWithHope]

You may just have a feeling of fear. You may just feel a little overwhelmed because now you guys see each other everyday other than whenever you could. Your probably getting comfortable with him. If you want to end it then you can end it but make sure it is not because you feel pressured or anything, make sure you know its the right thing to do. Don't let his SH and self esteem affect this, just make sure he knows you care for him but your not the girl, cuz he will find a girl in the future if you do end it. Good lUck and Stay Strong!

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by tula

I love him, and I care so much about him, but lately I feel like my emotions are fading.

That happens often with me - I grew up moving around a lot and so I move between people easily without permanent attachments, normally. This time, though, I'm just not sure. We've been together this long, and he really loves me. I think more than I love him, which is part of the problem for me - that pressure of having to be there, unchanging. I've always been the kind of person to come and go as I please, and now I can't. I can't be the reckless and impulsive person I really am when I am in a relationship - and although it is good because it has saved me from the destructive path that I was on I don't know if I can keep it up. I don't feel entirely like me any more.

This is pretty common for long-term relationships. Do you still feel something when you kiss? If the spark is gone, then try and spice things up. Go out and do something together that you've never done before. While being really comfortable in a relationship can be boring, it can also be really nice knowing that someone is always there loving you. Think about what made you fall in love with him for the first time.

Originally Posted by tula

I'm considering ending the relationship, but I'm worried because he'll take it very hard and he has a history of SH and bad self esteem. I don't want to push him into that again. I also don't know if maybe my feelings are weak right now because it's been a long time and since winter is coming and I'm afflicted by a sort of winter-depression, I suppose you could call it, which is to say in the long dark months I just lack energy and motivation for everything.

This is actually a mental condition. Its called S.A.D which stands for seasonal affective disorder. I'll provide a link to give you some more information on it. There are ways to treat it. One of the ways that I know of is to buy a special light (I'm pretty sure Costco has them) and you can turn it on for a few hours in the morning and it boosts your mood.
Here is the link: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002499/