Is it really possible the hurt can nevee go away? :/

[BabygirlKateiyAndrus]

Okay, me and my ex-boyfriend dated 8 months and throughout those months I was put through hell. I really thought he was the one but he got me to do things that I regret and never thought I would do and that was send bad pics. And when I'd try to break up with him he'd threathen to kill himself and I didn't want that to happen so I would feel so bad that I felt I had to stay with him. Every night I would cry myself to sleep because of the fact I didn't know what to do and it got to the point I did something else I never thought I ever do and that was cut myself. And even though I found a way to get out of all that bullshit I still feel like nothing was accomplished I thought when I got rid of him I would stop cuttin... but I didn't I recently in like the past month or so I cut myself. And I think there is still some hurt left behind and I just can't stop thinkin about those nights I did that. And I still am hurt by it today. I feel that the hurt will never go away. Even though we are 6 months broken up...
Is it really possible the hurt can never go away???

[Maloo]

No, I don't think it's possible.

Yes, it hurts now, and it's not going to go away immediately, but I do believe that it will.

I dated someone for 1 year and 8 months, and when he decided he didn't want me anymore, it was the most pain I've been through up to that point. It took me a couple months, but things did get better.

Keep your head up.

[ellequeen]

I truly know and understand how you feel! I've actually been through a bad break up and it felt like forever. I was so hurt and depressed for a long long long time - I thought I would never get over..
But let me tell you, it DOES get better. In time, this will fade. I'm over him now but I mean it is different for different people and also varies depending on the situation. You may not get over him, but you will definetly become used to it and overcome it some how. Yes, it hurts and I know that depressed, lost, empty feeling you have but at the end of the day, are people that care and love you! Try to do things that will distract you from thinking about him!
In time, things will gradually get better. If you need anything, I can be here to talk Till then, Take care

[how.we.operate.]

The hurt never fully goes away, but it does get better.
I went through something similar- my ex and I were off and on a lot and when I broke up with him, he would go do something stupid. First break up, he started cutting then went after a girl he knew dangled boys like there was no tomorrow. Next few break ups, he cried and would threaten to just walk home at 2am. He even showed up at my friend's events just to talk to me (he crashed my friend's birthday to get to me)...and the worst was the official break up where he gave me a week to think things out (I was having a huge meltdown because it was my first year at college...he was still in high school). Before the week was up, he went on a rebound, b*tched about me to her, and refused to talk to me.
I of course did what you have been doing, I kept cutting throughout the entire thing.

Now I haven't cut for...almost 2 years since the break up and my cutting. It does get better, trust me on that, but it never fully is 100% okay-maybe close to 95%. You will still be hurt no matter what--sometimes I reflect on how bad things were back then. The only thing that I regret was not moving on sooner and doing what I did to myself...I realized I missed out on so much.
It takes time and effort to move on, but it will happen. You are young...meaning you have a huge life in front of you. Don't waste it. Life has its ups and downs...unfortunately this is one of the downs. Breakups are always hard because you feel like you've lost so much. Truth is, you did lose out, but now you have to pick yourself up.

If you want to talk more, PM me. I'm happy to help.

[Maloo]

I disagree about the pain not fully going away. I think it does when you fully want it to. It did for me.

[MacGuffin]

The hurt does fully go away. Can it still sting a little when you remember what happened? Sometimes, more for the sake of "that was a really bad time in my life" than anything else; it's not a constant ache that eats away at you on the inside. The hurt goes away when you can forgive yourself and forgive other people that have done you wrong. Does that mean you need to let it just slide off, no big deal? No. But it means you can face the fact that this happened, you can't change it, but you can change who you want to be and how you want to face it in the future. Self-flagellation is the most scarring of all reprimands, because you can open it up over and over again.

So choose forgiveness, and choose to look at things a different way. Look at yourself and say "I know I am really hurting right now and I know I made mistakes. I know I didn't stand up for myself when I should have, and I know I degraded myself to please another person. And I know it's had negative consequences on me. But just because I screwed up doesn't mean I am a bad person, and it doesn't mean I have to cut myself. From now on, I don't want to see myself hurting all the time. I want to be happy." You have to believe it for it to work, but it CAN work if you let it.

Saying that, though, is only the beginning. Next comes the hard work: you have to figure out WHY and WHAT exactly you feel bad about, and what feeling "bad" means. And then you can address those concerns, one by one, and figure out what to do next.

And, take comfort in the fact that in the future you know to do something differently. We can't change the past, but we can always change the future.

[-epicfail-]

This is my best friend but apparently she could stop the cutting she just chooses not to!!
And her boyfriend really isnt the one thats bringing her down its just the damn friends and she chooses not to let this go so apparently she still misses him.

-epicfail-

[dr2005]

As Lissa and Jordan have said, the pain can and does go away in time. My last relationship ended just under 2 years ago after being together for 3 years, and for the first six months or so it did feel like having a knife in the back. After those six months, though, it did get better because I'd gotten used to being single and was making the most of the remainder of my life by visiting people and doing things. Does that mean it never bothers me? No - as Jordan says, it can still have the sting of remembering a bad moment in life, but that is as far as it goes. What's done is done, and in this situation you can either beat yourself up over it continuously or chalk it up to experience and move forward. I can understand why you feel how you do and sympathise with that, but it will get easier if you follow the suggestions made above and keep your head up. It's sometimes easier said than done, I know - I'm prone to depression so I recognise that all too well - but if you give yourself time and (more importantly) the opportunity to heal emotionally and start making steps forward, it will come.

Hope some of that helps and take care.

[Chris.]

I agree and disagree with some of the comments above. I personally think that pain no matter what extent (unless physical) will go away in time. Time meaning hours, weeks, months, years, or 20, 30 years. I believe and can testify that time (in MOST cases) will heal ALMOST anything. Yes it will take time.

I think the problem here is that you consitantly remind yourself of him, and of the pain. You cry, and cut, and cry and cut, and if you keep doing that, the pain will never go away. You need to get yourself busy, find something to do after school, sports, arts, something. The less time you have to think about the past, the more time you have to cry and get upset. You cant hold on to the past - it wont get you anywhere...