Stuck In Dreams

[Iris. ♥]

I'm not sure if this is the right forum, so feel free to move it.

So, about a year ago, I dated this guy Billy. He was emotionally abusive, had potential to be physically abusive, and was kind of an all-around loser. When we broke up, it wasn't a clean break. There was a lot of hurt on both ends. I've convinced myself that I hate him, and I really haven't thought much about him since we broke up. But, for the past couple months, I've been thinking about him a lot. At first, it was pretty normal - I was just wondering how he was doing. But, lately, I've been having dreams about him. For the first few, we were just acting friendly. Last night, we actually started dating again in my dream. What does this mean?! I don't like having him on my mind!

[Le bonheur*]

It sounds to me like you didn't get closure. You just kinda told yourself that you hated him so you believed it but now that the anger wore off a bit, you're thinking about him and that's what causes the dreams.. I think. It's normal.

Here's my experience: I dated a guy who was emotionally abusive and it also wasn't a clean break, it was a little bit different than your situation though because he threatened my life and his own life, but I told myself that I hated him and I never wanted to see him again but I also thought that I was in love with him at the same time... So 3 months later, I started thinking about him and wondering if he was 'around' I guess. Dreams came about but not happy dreams, they were more nightmares than anything.

But yea, like I said - it's not abnormal.. I think it's really normal to wonder what an ex is up to but if he was no good to you, don't try to talk to him again. It'll just cause more trouble for you and you deserve better than that.

If you wanna chat, I'm here.

[Nicole!]

As Brittany said, I also think its normal.
I wouldn't talk to him though, the dreams will go away on their own. We tend to dream about things we think a lot about. So try and distract yourself when you find yourself thinking of him and he shouldn't appear in your dreams anymore.

[Aletheia*]

With the lack of closure, everything you're feeling is normal. I do agree with Nicole too, you shouldn't speak to him. We can't help what or whom we dream about, and those dreams will go away on their own.

[leavemealone]

I think its kind of your way of saying that you didn't like how the relationship ended and you want to make it better. I wouldn't talk to him though if you say he was abusive. And if you see him again, It'll bring up some old feelings and he could go farther than just saying hurtful things. These thoughts and dreams will go away. Your better of leaving it as it is.

[Iris. ♥]

Thanks guys. I definitely didn't get closure, but I'm not going to try to contact him. I'll admit, I have tried to Facebook stalk him, but his profile is set so his friends are the only ones that can see anything. I really just want to know if he's okay, since I know he's had some dangerous thoughts. That's bad, huh?