How do I let him in?

[Fallenandcantgetup]

About a year ago I started talking to one of my ex best friend's exs,John, on facebook, but one of my ex's hacked into my facebook account and started talking to people and John was one of them, so I had to delete my account and make a new one. When I made my new account I forgot to re add John. A couple weeks ago I saw him in the choir room and remembered that I didn't add him again. As soon as I got home I emailed him explaining what happened and sent him a friend requetst. A week ago he answered it and we've been talking ever since. While we were talking before I told him about me being raped when I was a kid. When I told him he said he wants to help me deal with it. The other day we were talking and he brought it up and said he still wants to help me deal with it. I've been trying to deal with it for a long time, so I can really move on with my life. Usually when I tell a guy I really like and want to be more than friends with they either back off completely and make up reasons why they can't be in a relationship with me (or even friends) or they want to know every detail about it (in a creepy way, not in a wanting to help me deal with it way). I've put up this wall a long time ago, so I won't get hurt again in case another guy does the same thing has the others. John didn't have either of those reactions that the others did. That wall has been up all the time for 8 years now. I really really like him and I've known him for 4 years, but how do I get that wall down so I can let him in?

[Chris.]

I think if you keep working on the friendship, and you guys start hanging out more, that eventually it will become natural for the wall to slowly lower itself. Take it slow, no need to rush. If you are telling him stories about your past, then I think the wall already has come down alittle because you just dont tell random people things like that. So for you to tell him that means you like him and you trust him; thus you wall has lowered even though you havent noticed it. Just keep doing what your doing: talking to him, hangout with him, and just have a good time! Soon enough I think you will see that your wall has lowered and that you can now go further alittle bit.

Goodluck, my friend.

Best wishes,
Chris

[Aletheia*]

Work on the friendship. This wall isn't going to come down easily, though he had none of the reactions you were expecting. However, it's hard to let people in. You just need to get to know him a little better, and fully trust that he wants to help you, not hurt you.