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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Advice? - December 3rd 2011, 11:03 PM

I'm...not sure what to feel right now... My girlfriend and I were talking about her past crushes today, and she brought up the question of how I would feel if she kissed a guy just to make sure she's lesbian-I was her first kiss, and she was mine, so neither of us has any experience kissing guys. I told her I would be jealous, but not angry. It's true. If she had just gone ahead and done it, I would be angry. And I'll get over the jealousy. I don't know exactly when this is going to happen, but I'm supposed to meet this guy on the nineteenth. I'm afraid...I should be more sure of myself, but I'm worried that it will be the end of us... She says she loves me, and I know I love her, but what if that's not good enough? If I'm not good enough?
   
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Re: Advice? - December 4th 2011, 12:31 AM

If you aren't comfortable with the idea, make it known. Kissing a guy isn't the determining factor if you are a lesbian or not; it sounds like she just wants an excuse to kiss a guy. I would sit down and talk with her more on this. Find out the real reason why she wants to kiss a guy so bad.











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Re: Advice? - December 4th 2011, 03:16 AM

I agree with Shannon. I think its a good idea for you guys to kiss another guy, and if you both are comfortable with it then go for it. Dont always think about 'what ifs'... You need to do what you need to do. If you are still alittle shy from the fact talk to her about your concerns. Ask her what would change if she or you are in fact Bi? Comfort eachother with your desicions and choices. Communication will go far in this situation.

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Re: Advice? - December 4th 2011, 06:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelophobia View Post
If you aren't comfortable with the idea, make it known. Kissing a guy isn't the determining factor if you are a lesbian or not; it sounds like she just wants an excuse to kiss a guy. I would sit down and talk with her more on this. Find out the real reason why she wants to kiss a guy so bad.
Definitely this. She can figure out if she is attracted to guys without kissing them. I think she is probably just curious about what its like to kiss a guy, so maybe that's why she wants to try it.


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Re: Advice? - December 4th 2011, 10:14 PM

If you're not comfortable with the idea of her kissing a guy, then you need to tell her. It's important that your feelings are acknowledged here, along with hers. I think she just wants to experiment with a guy, more or less to see how it feels. I'm sure she's not going to leave you just because of one kiss. However, if she decides she's "not lesbian" and she is straight (which I don't think she is if she's been with you for so long and you're in love) then you DO need to respect that decision. I hope it works out for the best.
   
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Re: Advice? - December 6th 2011, 12:13 AM

Thank you to all of you who replied. I would've said something sooner, but I couldn't get online. She called off the kiss later that day because she didn't want to make me mad-which, I wouldn't have been mad, and I told her that I love her enough to just want her to be happy and that I'm just glad she talked to me about it first several times-and because she didn't want to make me jealous, but I still can't get it out of my mind... I think I'm going to take everyone's advice and try to talk to her about it today. I'm sick of being so upset over it
   
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Re: Advice? - December 6th 2011, 04:10 AM

If it has upset you that much (which is completely understandable- I would be too), then yeah you should definitely talk to her about this. Communication is a really good thing to have in a relationship and its what keeps those relationships strong.


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Re: Advice? - December 10th 2011, 03:23 PM

I talked to her on Monday. We worked everything out, and it's definitely not going to happen. Thank you for your advice, everyone
   
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