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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Skar Offline
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Should I just give up? - December 16th 2011, 01:05 AM

I've been thinking I'm terrible with girls because of the way I look...I've always heard looks don't matter for guys, and it's mostly your personality, but I guess not?

I met a girl on the internet who was pretty much in love with me. Girls aren't THAT hard to figure out sometimes. She showed me what she looked like too, and she was so cute. We talked for almost 2 months. I was already so self conscious, the second I showed her a picture of me, we pretty much spoke for less than a minute before she left, and now I'm sure she's blocked me, since its been a month and she hasn't been on...

So yeah, pretty much the most embarrassing thing ever, as if my confidence couldn't go any lower. Just recently happened with another girl I met too, a girl who is so cute and so out of my league turns me down and acts awkward after she see's me...And yeah, pretty much the most embarrassing thing ever, I know, and I lived it. I put so much energy into someone for them to reject me in a split second...I was SO cocky and charming with them too, I know it wasn't my personality. Every girl at school is friendly to me, but I'm pretty much shut down when I try to flirt. It must be because of the way I look, for sure.

I didn't think I was THAT ugly. I know I'm really far from good looking. I have a really weak chin, long and pointy nose, and long face, but still. I'm pretty lean/muscular...I have kind of a swimmers body, and I'm kinda tall at 6'1''.

I know girls have it a lot worse, I understand. And I know I'm shallow too, don't get me wrong. My entire lack of dating has been because girls who like me, I found unattractive. Now I'm not expecting to date the 'hot girl' who every guy lusts after...I just want to date a one I find at least cute. Even that seems to be 'out of my league' though? Should I just give up and date a girl I don't like?..Otherwise it seems I'll never get a girl? I dont want to wait until I'm 30 just to get one by luck.

I really wish I didn't have this urge to date a girl/ have sex , because is this is all survival of the fittest, then I'm so screwed.
   
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Re: Should I just give up? - December 16th 2011, 01:11 AM

I don't think you should give up or settle for someone you don't like. I'm a firm believer in there's someone out there for everyone. Your girl will come and she'll be happy with who you are, inside and out.
   
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Re: Should I just give up? - December 16th 2011, 12:04 PM

If being cocky and charming isn't your personality, then don't act that way. The most important thing is to be yourself, because what if a girl starts liking you only to find out you aren't who she thinks you are?
You won't be 30 when you get into a relationship, I promise you that. You need to let it come to you. You of course can date a cute girl, its important that not only you have a connection in a relationship, but that you are both physically attracted to each other.
You need to think about the good things about being single. You have freedom. You don't need a girlfriend to be happy.


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Re: Should I just give up? - December 16th 2011, 02:52 PM

Think of it this way, if you wont give girls you find unatractive a chance at your heart, girls wont give you, a guy they think is unatractive, a chance. What goes around comes around. A bit cliche, but thats the way karma works.

Oh- and stop thinking of specific girls as out of your league, think of every girl as out of your league. It will cause you to try and better yourself, and to respect women more. Saying that "girls arent that hard to figure out sometimes" isnt exactly chivalrous.
   
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Re: Should I just give up? - December 16th 2011, 03:09 PM

I heard it best online, people aren't going to be attracted to everyone. Just as it comes to different foods, we turn away from different foods. The thing is we will always find the food that we can stand and will be able to eat. The same goes for love.


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Re: Should I just give up? - December 16th 2011, 08:00 PM

Don't change who you are for the sake of finding someone to be with. Personality is a huge factor when someone is trying to find a mate. But, changing it won't help you any. If you try to act cocky, it could blow up in your face. You want to meet a nice girl, and acting this way certainly isn't going to help you accomplish that. A girl wants to get to know the real you, not a fake one.

Ultimately, you need to stop looking for love, and let love come to you. If you spend so much time worrying about not finding someone, you're going to be looking in all the wrong places. The best relationships come from when you aren't looking for it.











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Re: Should I just give up? - December 19th 2011, 12:25 AM

You should try and find a girl who's personality you like. I don't think looks matter, whether it's your looks or your future girlfriend's. Date someone because you like them, for them, not because you want guys to be jealous of her.
You'll find someone who likes you for you, but that'll only happen when you like a girl for herself as well. Until then, you're pretty much getting what you deserve by turning down the nice girls who you didn't find all that attractive.
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