Problems solved, problems gained.

[fransh]

Okay, I'm keeping it short this time, well, I'll give it a try.

I had some issues, well, some doubts. I was wondering wheter my girlfriend just liked having some boys around or doesn't like me enough.

So it turned out she had some real problems going on. At school she got her self-confidence wrecked, and ever since she has been thinking she's too fat. It almost got so far that she had to go to the hospital, but she got back up again by herself.

She had been liking me for some time, and I knew about it for a bit because of what my friends told me. When we met, she barely looked at me, as if she asumed that I wouldn't like her anyway. Well, I did, and I told her how I felt about her and we were now officially togheter.

Then, one night at a party, a boy flirted with her, and she was like, oh alright, and he was crossing the line, it was just one step away from kissing. I told her I didn't agree with what she had done, then, the full story about her eating disorder came out (see above), and she wasn't used to having boys around. Since she met me, she had become more her self, and well, more boys get attracted to her. Although, she didn't really dare to tell this boy to stop. She told me this was not her excuse, and she really messed up, but it would NEVER happen again.

Now, it seems to me that she is eating less then previously, and keeps telling me she's fat over and over. I tell her she has a beautifull shape, she's not fat AT ALL. I tell her she's perfect and there is nothing that should change. But it doesnt seem to change anything, she just continues with eating nothing for dinner for example.

I know there is no such way to convince a girl she's not fat, but I could really use some advice. Please don't tell me to get her to a doctor, it's up to her parents to do that, but they dont seem to care, really.

Thanks, once again.

[Aletheia*]

There really is nothing you can do to change her mind. She's dealt with body image problems in the past, and she's just relapsing back into that. Just keep telling her that she's beautiful, and that she is perfect the way she is and doesn't need to change anything. Eventually, hearing it enough she'll begin to believe it.

[Chris.]

I agree with Shannon. There isn't anything you can really do to convince her that she isn't fat. Just tell her that:

She means the world to you
She is beautiful
She doesn't need to change, she is pretty
You can really tell her alot - but only tell her things that you really mean; that will make it alot more meaningful.

Just stand by her, and try to lead her to a healthy way of life - if she follows then great! but if she doesn't, all you can do is follow her and be there for her.

Best wishes,
Chris