Male Advice Preferred: Letting your boyfriend know he can go further?

[Fickle Iris]

I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months now, and we've never gone farther than just kissing. Recently though, when we were lying in the couch he accidentally touched my boob when he was reaching for something- and immediately flinched away!

I had told him right when we started dating I wanted to go slow (been sexually assaulted in the past, wasn't sure when I'd be ready for more than holding hands lol) but now... I'm ready for this! Like he almost touched me and i got excited, but he still seems to think he can't touch me at all...

I'm not a very foreword person- it took me a month to tell him kissing my neck was a good idea (omgyesplease) and this seems to me something going under the 'next step' category... I'm probably overthinking this, but I'm at a loss.

How do I let him know he can touch me there?

~Nessa

[Koharuchan]

It's surprising how scary it can sometimes be to do this, but it really is simple. Next time you talk or are alone with him, just tell him you're ready to go a little farther. Let him know what he can and can't do, and if he starts to go too far tell him you're not ready for that yet, and continue. He sounds like a really great guy, most boys wouldn't have the patience to wait 6 months.

Remember that in any relationship communication is very important. You have to let him know what you're feeling or he won't understand. Good luck, I hope things go well!

[theawesomeman]

just say that you are ready for it and tell him that you WANT him to if you say want than he wont too much but he sometimes will

[Aletheia*]

Communicate. Since you put up boundaries in the beginning of the relationship, he doesn't know when those boundaries are gone. You need to tell him. Guide him. Take his hand and place it where you want it to be; and let him know you're ready.

[Lifeblood]

Agreed with other people really, although I'm similar so I know it's difficult to say sometimes :/ Easy in theory but...
Say he has his hand on your neck or waist, you could just edge it up/down as appropriate, noticeably so he is aware you're not doing it accidentally, but not too forcefully because of course he may not actually want to and it's his choice too.

I'll tell you what though, you do have a fantastic boyfriend, I don't know any boys who could last that long! Mine was trying to grope me within like 2 months :/

Good luck! Have fun

[Acheron]

Take his hands. Place them on your boobs. Smirk. Done.

[Pelios]

One way you can let him know is next time you two are kissing or something grab his hand and guide it to where you want it to go. I am a firm believer that when it comes to letting someone go father body language and guiding them there is the best way to go.
Good Luck.!

[Fickle Iris]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the advice ^^

I think I'll just guide his hand back next time, slow so he knows what I'm doing and it's deliberate...

We're all getting together after school on Friday for christmas and he's staying after later, I hope I can muster up the balls to do it! XP

What if he doesn't want to though? Like what if he gets grossed out by me or something? I mean there isn't anything wrong with my boobs or anything but still :/

[Le bonheur*]

Originally Posted by Fickle Iris

What if he doesn't want to though? Like what if he gets grossed out by me or something? I mean there isn't anything wrong with my boobs or anything but still :/

I honestly don't think he'll get grossed out about it. There's nothing wrong with you. You've been together for a while & you feel like you're ready for the next step. Take things slow and see what his initial reaction is. If he's not ready and he pulls away, then you can't force him. He's not going to be grossed out though, just surprised. If he continues doing what you want him to, and it feels right, well; there you go.

[Pelios]

Originally Posted by Fickle Iris

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the advice ^^

I think I'll just guide his hand back next time, slow so he knows what I'm doing and it's deliberate...

We're all getting together after school on Friday for christmas and he's staying after later, I hope I can muster up the balls to do it! XP

What if he doesn't want to though? Like what if he gets grossed out by me or something? I mean there isn't anything wrong with my boobs or anything but still :/

Yes I think that's the best way to go guiding his hand to where you want it. I'm sure everything will go fine just relax and trust him also trust yourself! When you are making out grab his hand and put it on your hip and then just guide it up
I don't think he will be grossed out or anything guys like breasts so there is no way why he would be grossed out I understand that feeling of "what if's" but just relax and enjoy the moment.
Good Luck.! =)

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

All it takes is communication. Let him know what you're ready for. Or you can do as others suggested & just put his hands where you want them.

[Fickle Iris]

WHELP, I got sick right before the party and wasn't feeling very adventurous, so we were just normal- and I got even sicker after that! So hadn't seen him since the party till earlier tonight ^^

So It was he and I and My best friend/ her boyfriend (also a best friend) and we were all downstairs on the couch, we all went outside to do some explosives for New Years, and my boyfriend and I came in earlier than they did

We were being derps, and kissing for a while... so I decided, time was right. I took his hand from my side and just kind of moved it on up (it took me a few minutes, but I got there.)

Obviously he stopped and looked at me real hard for a minute, but he got really excited after that I did too, but I mean...


It really did only take communication I guess. If I hadn't given him the right sort of look he probably would have started asking me if I was REALLY ready and asked to wait to be sure (he truly is one in a million)

Anyway, I did it, I feel really confident, and I am so stoked for the upcoming year!

Thanks again for the advice guys, I really appreciate it <3

[Ambiance]

I was in this situation at the beginning of my relationship; and my opening line that spurred everything that's led up to sex was, "You know you can't get boobage from the top of my shirt, right?" Point? You don't really have to say anything deep or meaningful. Just say, "I feel really close to you, and I trust you, and I'm ready to take it one step further." Or just act real sexy and guide his hands.

[Chris.]

Originally Posted by Acheron

Take his hands. Place them on your boobs. Smirk. Done.

I have actually had a girl do that to me - it really got the point across and not to mention it was a good experience - and was pretty awesome. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED WAY TO GET THE POINT ACROSS

[Fickle Iris]

Originally Posted by chrisjackson911

I have actually had a girl do that to me - it really got the point across and not to mention it was a good experience - and was pretty awesome. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED WAY TO GET THE POINT ACROSS

Haha YES! Next time for sure XP I wonder if... Well, one of my best friends gets a thrill for anything with shock value, so she occasionally walks up behind me at lunch (ya know, middle of the high school cafeteria. Perfectly normal.) and pretty much honks my boobs to freak out the other guys. I sort of hope he won't think of that if I try it with him xP

Originally Posted by iLikeToMoveIt

I was in this situation at the beginning of my relationship; and my opening line that spurred everything that's led up to sex was, "You know you can't get boobage from the top of my shirt, right?" Point? You don't really have to say anything deep or meaningful. Just say, "I feel really close to you, and I trust you, and I'm ready to take it one step further." Or just act real sexy and guide his hands.

I'm always screwing up over that! I had to explain a few dark secrets over the summer when he asked me for some detail, and it took me like six tries to finally up and just say it, since I was trying to be all wise and changed *rolls eyes*

I mean it shouldn't be that hard to spit it out, but I always end up biting my lip practice at communication, nessa, practice practice practice!

Guiding his hands worked though REALLY well... Too bad we were at my friends house- he's gonna be over again tomorrow though, so I'll just be patient

[Chris.]

Haha YES! Next time for sure XP I wonder if... Well, one of my best friends gets a thrill for anything with shock value, so she occasionally walks up behind me at lunch (ya know, middle of the high school cafeteria. Perfectly normal.) and pretty much honks my boobs to freak out the other guys. I sort of hope he won't think of that if I try it with him xP

Little moves like that turn a guy on, that I can promise you! And I'm sure if you did do this - he would be more stocked and not really understand what to do next! But he would love it (atleast thats how it was for me). So now worries!

[dj_chicharito]

best way is guide his hand wherever u want...major turn on and its a nice surprise