After overthinking I now don't know if I like him enough?

[into creation x]

So I've been seeing this guy for 6/7 weeks now. I know at the start I really liked him, like more than anyone else before.

But now I don't even know. I love kissing him, hugging him, talking with him, spending time with him, laughing with him... he's the first person I've ever trusted with my body, have slept with him a couple times now too.

I've never had a relationship last more than just over a month and I was always the dumpee. This is totally different to anything I've experienced before. He appears to quite like me and treats me a lot better than anyone else ever has.

I don't know how or why but I kind of don't feel anything. I don't know how to explain it. At the start I had the biggest smile on my face constantly and just felt so happy all the time. I don't know if I'm scared this is real unlike my past relationships. I don't feel the need to talk to him all the time any more, but he is on my mind an awful lot still. I suppose maybe I worry he's going off me. He makes me want to be a better person though, I know that. I don't want to drink so much any more in fear I'll lose him. I also know I care about him as I'm going to get myself checked for STI's, not for me but for him and he doesn't even know that. He knows I've got a past and is okay with that.

I really don't want to hurt him but I suppose I'm a little overwhelmed when I do think about it.. just trying to blot that out so I feel nothing?

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, sort of have blabbed on. Also another thing when I don't see him for a few days it doesn't bother me and I don't feel like I'm going to be excited when I see him... but then suddenly when he pulls up outside my house to pick me up I feel so ridiculously happy and excited.

I guess I'm asking.. is this what it feels like when you're settling into a relationship? (we still haven't even discussed what we are) I feel like I've lost a lot of interest compared to what I used to feel. Felt like I had a massive crush on him before. Now it's like all the drama is gone and I have no worries he'll suddenly dump me like past boyfriends/people I've been seeing have done.

I'm just confused and don't really know what's going on or what I feel and if that's okay... help!

[dr2005]

What you're experiencing is perfectly normal - with any new relationship there's always a so-called "honeymoon period" where you go through the super-happy/hugging/kissing/etc phase and everything about it seems new and exciting. After that phase, it's natural that things cool off slightly because of a degree of familiarity about the relationship. The main thing to bear in mind, and the thing which stood out for me in your post, is that you say when he pulls up you still feel happy and excited, and by all accounts that shows you still like him and want to spend time with him as before. If you weren't feeling anything at all that would perhaps be more cause for concern, but as things stand you have nothing to worry about. As for the loss of the massive crush, bear in mind a lot of that will be generated by nerves and anxiety over whether it's mutual, whether to act on it and so on. A lot of that has gone because you're now seeing each other, so there's no need for the anxiety - as you say yourself, you have no worries about being dumped which shows you're more relaxed about the situation. So again, it's nothing to worry about.

Hope that helps and take care.

[Chris.]

This is in fact normal - and yes, when you settle in you begin to get comfortable and your feelings may change. The one thing you need to work on is not thinking about a break-up. When you focus on sometime so much, it tends to happen. So stop worrying about it. It seems like the relationship is going extremely well so don't get worked up about 'what if' situations and possibilities. Just enjoy him, enjoy yourself, and be happy that you have a very good relationship.


Best wishes,
Chris

[into creation x]

Thanks guys, you're right

Now I've got a slight problem... he doesn't appear to be talking to me so much today after spending a few hours with him yesterday Nothing out of the ordinary happened (apart from perhaps me realising just how much I do like him?). We will always say something to each other online and last night we were both online, he didn't say much though... and today I was out all day with friends, did text him this afternoon asking when can I next see him but he didn't reply a few hours later I was online and he told me he forgot to reply, I asked if he was free tonight to which he replied he may be out with friends but asked what I had in mind. I gave a suggestion but he didn't reply within about 10 mins then I told him to let me know as I'm going back out. About 10 mins after that I text him again saying when we next do go out I'm paying (he either rarely lets me or goes and pays and then I feel awkward to butt in knowing he'll not let me, this has happened!!). I've not heard from him at all though since

I know it's only been about half a day but usually if one of us tries to communicate with the other we do get some kind of response!

What does it sound like is going on?

The only problem recently we've had which I didn't see as a problem till I could see he was bothered by it yesterday is that the couple times we've now slept together he hasn't lasted long at all. I've told him it really isn't bothering me and it isn't. I'm fine with it, actually kinda see it as a compliment! But he did say he doesn't know what's wrong with him and sounded worried yesterday. He also said it's been itchy since we first did it...

So both this things are what made me today get checked for STI's as I have made a few mistakes this year and never worried anything was wrong with me so never got checked out until now as worried maybe I've passed something onto him? He knows about my past and we haven't discussed if I had a screening and he doesn't know I went today but I did it for him more than my own sake.

I do plan to tell him this when I next see him and have got some condoms for peace of mind until the results get back to me. I'm really not sure if this is what's bothering him though, he hasn't mentioned he thought it could be something he's got from me but I guess it's a tricky thing to bring up!

Does it sound like he's worried about that or something else? Like yesterday from my original post feeling a bit unsure about what I feel about him... perhaps he feels the same? I think feelings with him is something which'll be really difficult to discuss, we haven't even established if we are boyfriend and girlfriend. I know he was hurt badly by his ex so he could be worried the same thing will happen again...

What's going on?

[into creation x]

Thanks guys, you're right

Now I've got a slight problem... he doesn't appear to be talking to me so much today after spending a few hours with him yesterday Nothing out of the ordinary happened (apart from perhaps me realising just how much I do like him?). We will always say something to each other online and last night we were both online, he didn't say much though... and today I was out all day with friends, did text him this afternoon asking when can I next see him but he didn't reply a few hours later I was online and he told me he forgot to reply, I asked if he was free tonight to which he replied he may be out with friends but asked what I had in mind. I gave a suggestion but he didn't reply within about 10 mins then I told him to let me know as I'm going back out. About 10 mins after that I text him again saying when we next do go out I'm paying (he either rarely lets me or goes and pays and then I feel awkward to butt in knowing he'll not let me, this has happened!!). I've not heard from him at all though since

I know it's only been about half a day but usually if one of us tries to communicate with the other we do get some kind of response!

What does it sound like is going on?

The only problem recently we've had which I didn't see as a problem till I could see he was bothered by it yesterday is that the couple times we've now slept together he hasn't lasted long at all. I've told him it really isn't bothering me and it isn't. I'm fine with it, actually kinda see it as a compliment! But he did say he doesn't know what's wrong with him and sounded worried yesterday. He also said it's been itchy since we first did it...

So both this things are what made me today get checked for STI's as I have made a few mistakes this year and never worried anything was wrong with me so never got checked out until now as worried maybe I've passed something onto him? He knows about my past and we haven't discussed if I had a screening and he doesn't know I went today but I did it for him more than my own sake.

I do plan to tell him this when I next see him and have got some condoms for peace of mind until the results get back to me. I'm really not sure if this is what's bothering him though, he hasn't mentioned he thought it could be something he's got from me but I guess it's a tricky thing to bring up!

Does it sound like he's worried about that or something else? Like yesterday from my original post feeling a bit unsure about what I feel about him... perhaps he feels the same? I think feelings with him is something which'll be really difficult to discuss, we haven't even established if we are boyfriend and girlfriend. I know he was hurt badly by his ex so he could be worried the same thing will happen again...

What's going on?

[SarSar91]

in answer to your first post, I don't thing you have anything to worry about most couple go through a honeymoon period and sounds like you out of that period now and just settling into your relationship.

on your second post he could be worried about the itching and wondering if he's given you something I personally would tell him that you've been to get checked out and why and maybe suggest he does the same then you can both relax.

oh and don't worry if you ever have arguments.....no relationship is without is without arguments, me and my partner argue from time to time and something it's over nothing, but we still love each other and we've been together for 2 years now and I don't think a single day has gone by where I've failed to tell him that I love him and he does same too

Hope everything works out ok for u